# Have you noticed people get jealous of your bags?



## Chez52

Hi,

I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?

I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.

I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.

Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way. 

I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.

Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...


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## Jfiske

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...



I feel the same way! I think people definitely treat me differently because I am always carrying expensive bags and wearing expensive shoes. I actually love the purse forum because we are all happy for each other here, but in real life, there are only two women I know that aren’t petty or jealous of my nicer things. 
People want you to do well, but not better than them.


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## IpreferParis

Chez52 said:


> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.


I hope you are paranoid in both cases. Perhaps the person with the luggage ran over your foot by accident?

However in case of your work colleague I suspect they did it on purpose...

I tend not to wear my Chanel bag to work to avoid negative judgement... It is a shame there are jealous people.

On the plus side, sometimes I get better service in stores when I wear Chanel!


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## quality_luv

That co-work spilling the drink sounds deliberate...I need to share that as a person of color--I get way BETTER service & respect when wearing a "status" handbag. From JFK airport to the Fillmore theatre, I wear luxury bags like a shield.


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## Freetofly

I completely understand what you mean!
I find a couple of times, strangers on the train will deliberately bash your designer bag when they walk past, even though there's plenty of space to get by. I've noticed it happening to other people that carry designer bags too. And it's always been women so far that have done this. It's sad that some women out there are like this.
One of my good friends made a snarky comment recently. I was at a wedding and wearing a Diorama WOC. She came over to examine my bag and asked what brand it was. I told her truthfully and she rolled her eyes and said "oh going up in the world aren't we!" and walked off.


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## MahaM

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...



In general, I don’t notice that people are jealous, lot admire nice bags as I do even if they own them.  Some don’t care what bag you’re carring and others are critical about expensive bags while they are spending more on other things.

There should be no jealousy, because there are lways people who are more fortunate than you.  Few jealous people  sure exist but we should just enjoy what we have.


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## SomethingGoodCanWork

quality_luv said:


> That co-work spilling the drink sounds deliberate...I need to share that as a person of color--I get way BETTER service & respect when wearing a "status" handbag. From JFK airport to the Fillmore theatre, I wear luxury bags like a shield.


I too, use my bags as a shield at times so I understand this perfectly. I don't like that I feel I need to, but it's just a reality of life sometimes. Sadly, flashing a wallet or a bag works, will get you service and will shut up an unpleasant snooty person. I think this goes for everyone, no matter what colour we are. 

About jealousy, yes, I've felt it. Jealousy of bags, and in general. From one of my closest friends no less. Having supported each other through so much, and having cheered on her every win in life, what ever my situation was at the time, this came as a huge surprise and pain to me. I no longer talk to her.

Luckily, I haven't yet had any strangers try to damage my bags deliberately, but I've noticed some people are deliberately pretty ruthless with a shopping cart so I often don't even take a bag with me when grocery shopping.


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## eckw

A few years ago, before I got bitten by the Chanel bug, I had this coworker who liked buying designer bags. I know she is comfortably off and can afford them but she had also shared with me that her marriage was/is not that happy (her husband cheating on her). 

Anyway we were lunching one day and went into Chanel together afterwards as she needed to exchange a bag and she then proceeded to buy two more. I remember asking her if she was ok, thinking she was buying out of unhappiness related to her home life.  (She said she was fine.) To this day, I still feel a bit embarrassed about my judgement/ignorance. Now I know better. One can be happy and well-adjusted and still succumb to mad Chanel buying!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that designer bags do bring out positive and negative reactions in others. I’ve bonded with ppl over mutual love of Chanel and other designers. I’ve also experienced teasing (good-natured and otherwise from friends) as well as meanness (bumping/looks) from strangers. I guess some see carrying luxury goods as a form of boasting? Luckily though I’ve never had anyone spill anything on my bags! That would be the worse!


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## BigAkoya

I think designer bags also can bring out the positive and worse in the person wearing the bag.  Just because I wear a designer bag, it does not make me feel better than someone else, nor does it inflate my ego... it inflates my confidence.  

To think someone ran over your foot, in a subway, on purpose due to your bag?  For real?


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## KittyKat65

No


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## Swanky

Not at all!  Sounds a bit paranoid to me personally.  It has never occurred to me actually. . .


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## aksaiyo

I’ve had people comment on my bags, mostly out of envy. I do get judgey comments at work sometimes, but it came from people who were petty to begin with. 
I think judgey looks and comments are probably the most people would do. So while that colleague spilling her drink on you may or may not be deliberate, I don’t think having your foot run over in the subway was intentional? Mostly because subways are busy and people carrying luggage are usually tired and frazzled so they probably haven’t noticed they’ve bumped into someone. I have dragged around luggage in NYC train stations and subways before, it’s always a nightmare just trying to get to where I want to go, I personally never have the energy left to judge and attack someone with shopping bags.


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## **Chanel**

Never happened to me that someone wanted/tried to damage my bags on purpose out of jealousy. 
Only thing what happened was during a night out in a club, when a drunk person spilled a drink over my Hermès alligator bracelet . But I don't believe that was on purpose, that person probably didn't even know it was Hermès.


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## DaBish

I definitely notice when another woman has a nice bag or shoes . I always compliment them if the timing is right to strike up a conversation. I love admiring beautiful things and am happy for the ladies that have them . Of course I wish I had some of them too but I would never ever intentionally spill something or make fun of a person because I'm envious. Those people really need some help, it's a shame. As women we should look for ways to build each other up instead of tear one another down. 

I once complimented a lady who had designer luggage. She told me that she saved up for over two years to buy it. She said she gave up eating take out and other expenses to afford it .I told her how beautiful her stuff was and how much I loved it. Some have different priorities. Some will give up on treats to save for a big purchase while others won't. Some have a lot and some have a little. Life isn't fair. Hating on someone else because they have nice stuff won't change the fact that life isn't fair .I just couldn't imagine deliberately hurting another woman out of jealousy. SMH. Those people should be ashamed of themselves for behaving that way.


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## ilovemydog

I have noticed once particular coworker is snarky when I wear nice things. I think she likes the idea of being familiar with designer and luxury goods but realistically (from what I know firsthand about her) it's not within her budget. She also makes snarky comments whenever I travel, but some people can't be happy for others. I'm also very careful about wearing nice bags or shoes around my superiors because I don't want it to somehow affect my raise and bonus. I think i'm more aware of this because of my age range, i'm within the 18-24 range, so it raises eyebrows.

Thankfully I do have a couple of friends who are also into handbags and shoes, so I have real life support from them. And I have all of you as well!


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## Molly0

Wow!  For the first time I am happy that I live in a small town where people couldn’t  tell the difference between a Chanel bag and a Walmart bag if their life depended on it.


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## 2cello

Molly0 said:


> Wow!  For the first time I am happy that I live in a small town where people couldn’t  tell the difference between a Chanel bag and a Walmart bag if their life depended on it.



Where I live people could tell the difference but they’d have no idea how much the Chanel costs. 

Unless you live in an area where lots of people wear designer, most people are not going to know how much these things cost.  

I stare at nice bags sometimes but I’m a bag nut.  Maybe people think it’s jealousy?  Don’t know, but just love seeing these bags being used.


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## julia.pa

I've only ever had positive experience with friends and people around me. Most of the times I really just get compliments on my bags and that's it. 
I believe where I'm from, people barely know designer brands. Maybe 3% of the people that live here would know I carry a Céline or Givenchy bag. The only designer they know and I see on other people here is Louis Vuitton. So when I carry LV, I sometimes get looks but I don't even care.
As for work colleagues, most of them own just as many luxury bags and SLGs so definitely no jealousy around there. Other than maybe me being jealous of my colleagues Hermes belt that looks absolutely stunning on her haha


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## Nancy in VA

Balenciaga is my bag  - and I do not hang out in monied circles so most of them do not know my bag is expensive - so no jealousy - but - if I am going to a very upscale store or restaurant they seem to treat me better after they see my bag.

PS - My husband does not even know what a Bal is or how much it cost - in fact - he has no idea how expensive any brand can be


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## TraceySH

Molly0 said:


> Wow!  For the first time I am happy that I live in a small town where people couldn’t  tell the difference between a Chanel bag and a Walmart bag if their life depended on it.


^^^ this. No one has ANY idea what I am carrying. I think the most brand recognition anyone might have would be an LV monogram bag. Granted if they did know, it would not be jealousy they would be oozing. It would be pity for my stupidity in spending that much $$ on a stupid handbag. I know this, yet continue to do it anyway


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## SomethingGoodCanWork

I have read posts here where others have asked the same question OP is asking, so I'm sure what she is describing does happen. But from most of what I've read on tPF about bag begrudging, it will more likely come from someone you already know, like family, co-workers or general acquaintances.

And a lot of the time, people are just unintentionally clumsy which is why I try to dress for the occasion, even if it means I can't wear a nice bag or will have to disguise it in a lowly shopping bag


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## DaBish

My husband also doesn't know how much things cost. 
He once said " this coach bag is nice because it's big. Coach is a designer brand, right?" 
I tried to explain that it's not my personal definition of designer but that some may feel that way. I then caught myself and realized that it's probably better for me if he doesn't know the difference. LMAO!


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## DaBish

I feel like I should clarify that I'm not making fun of coach and I own several . It's just not my personal definition of designer.


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## accessoryfreak

I have noticed other people - mostly women, sometimes men - checking out my bags. It always makes me "tee hee hee!" in my mind. I try to smile and be super-friendly if they comment. I don't want to give the impression that I think I'm better than anyone else because of my handbag. 

I haven't noticed anyone being ugly, rude, or deliberately destructive because of my handbag. Though, my experience is that people who are rude are going to be anyway.


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## terri w

My friends are used to my stuff and say nothing but yeah other people do get jealous I guess. Been pushed into a wall, barged into and my bag falls off my shoulder.


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## Jaxholt15

KittyKat65 said:


> No


I love your reply, short and sweet.  I see this kind of thread and laugh, sounds quite pretentious to me.  I find that the majority of people in this world could care less what kind of bag you carry.


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## TraceySH

Jaxholt15 said:


> I love your reply, short and sweet.  I see this kind of thread and laugh, sounds quite pretentious to me.  I find that the majority of people in this world could care less what kind of bag you carry.


legit. = false humility self-aggrandizement. Not speaking to OP here, but let's face it. Lots of people buy expensive things to convey a sense of elitism, and sure, strangers might respond negatively to that.


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## Jdljb

I buy my bags because I absolutely ADORE them (for many many reasons, but none of those reasons include to show any sort of elitism). If someone was jealous of my bags I wouldn’t even notice or care. I also don’t surrond myself with people that would give me a hard time about my bags. I don’t have time for that stuff. They are just bags, they don’t define us as individuals!
PS- the wealthiest person I know wears Clothes from Walmart that are all old and rides his bike to work. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!


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## gettinpurseonal

Yes, but I agree with one of the posters above that it is more out of shock at my stupidity for the amount I spend, lol!!  People judge me because it seems that they always want you to contribute money towards their cause, and they think if you can buy a bag, you should be giving them money too.  So they show disgust for your expensive bag because you could afford the bag, but you are not giving them money.  True story.  I already contribute financially to several charities that I *believe* in and donate my time as well.  So they should not judge.


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## KittyKat65

Jaxholt15 said:


> I love your reply, short and sweet.  I see this kind of thread and laugh, sounds quite pretentious to me.  I find that the majority of people in this world could care less what kind of bag you carry.


I completely agree.  If someone is "jealous" of my bags, I would never know.  I don't even exist in a world where a handbag defines me.  Right now I am carrying a Birkin because I freakin' love them!  I adore the shape and simplicity and they carry all of my guff.  Not one of my friends knows what it is or how much it cost.  They are very under the radar in my neck of the woods.  I am judged as the person I am and not what is on my arm. I have had ONE person comment on a Chanel flap bag I carried, "Oooh, I love your Coach," and I didn't correct her.  I just enjoyed that she thought my handbag was pretty and thanked her for the compliment.  If someone ran over my foot on the subway, I would a) assume they did it by accident, and b) they would apologize.  There is not one part of my psyche that would think it would be because of a bag.


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## PurpleRabbit

DaBish said:


> I definitely notice when another woman has a nice bag or shoes . I always compliment them if the timing is right to strike up a conversation. I love admiring beautiful things and am happy for the ladies that have them . Of course I wish I had some of them too but I would never ever intentionally spill something or make fun of a person because I'm envious. Those people really need some help, it's a shame. As women we should look for ways to build each other up instead of tear one another down.
> 
> I once complimented a lady who had designer luggage. She told me that she saved up for over two years to buy it. She said she gave up eating take out and other expenses to afford it .I told her how beautiful her stuff was and how much I loved it. Some have different priorities. Some will give up on treats to save for a big purchase while others won't. Some have a lot and some have a little. Life isn't fair. Hating on someone else because they have nice stuff won't change the fact that life isn't fair .I just couldn't imagine deliberately hurting another woman out of jealousy. SMH. Those people should be ashamed of themselves for behaving that way.



I also like to compliment others with nice handbags and usually ask if they are members of the purse.  So far I have not gotten a yes I am on TPF.   I have found that most women are not receptive to the compliment.  I am just a friendly person and happy for everyone.   Once a stranger walked up to me and rudely asked,  "How did you pay for your Chanel bag?"   My response was your Husband is a generous man .   Yes, the answer was a bit over the top but I was extremely offended by the question.


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## jellyv

Mostly going on in your head. Those who do carry designer goods wouldn't care, and the general public often can't distinguish an authentic bag from fakes so would be unlikely to "envy."

In general there are plenty of expensive objects out in public, at least in major urban environments, and plenty of people who are buying them...it's not that big a deal.


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## Tuned83

I love a designer handbag and get a lot of shade for carrying them from people who aspire to carry Chanel too. The digs are mainly about me dressing too casually for the bags. Makes me laugh. I care even less now as I am super hormonal and tired. Allow the negativity!


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## PurpleRabbit

jellyv said:


> Mostly going on in your head. Those who do carry designer goods wouldn't care, and the general public often can't distinguish an authentic bag from fakes so would be unlikely to "envy."
> 
> In general there are plenty of expensive objects out in public, at least in major urban environments, and plenty of people who are buying them...it's not that big a deal.



I get what you are saying and agree to a point.  There are those who feel that certain people should not have certain things.  I have had pointed comments of jealous directed toward me or about others who like lux goods.  People are people and it takes all kinds in this world.  So I would say that its not in anyones head, and we all have had different experiences.  You can not say it's unlikely envy because  sometimes it is.


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## halfviet87

I feel the same yesterday i bought my dream bag at chanel , i went to starbucks all the girls around look at me haahha i don’t care , enjoy this moment


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## jellyv

PurpleRabbit said:


> So I would say that its *not in anyones head*, and we all have had different experiences.  You *can not say it's unlikely envy *because  sometimes it is.



Well, I disagree, as I stated. I do feel this is *mostly *a self-conscious attitude independent of what's going on "out there."

The idea that random people in general are envious depends on the idea that others aren't themselves able to acquire special goodies.  Well, lots of people can and do--the luxury industry is doing fine, with more aspirational buyers than ever carrying expensive bags.  Not to mention the general public's inability to detect if one's bag is authentic or fake and hence unworthy of jealousy.


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## Chez52

It is interesting to read everyone’s varied experiences. It is also interesting to see how some people are able to dismiss my experience as ‘pretentious’ and ‘in my head’. My request was not for judgement upon my interpretations of my experiences. The fact of those two situations is we will never know. I am mature enough to continue a healthy working relationship with this coworker regardless of what my suspicions may be. Previous history with this coworker included.

It is always wise to keep an open mind and to view things from all possible angles in any situation.

Unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world where we are all happy for each other’s achievements and successes. It would be nice to hope for this to be a reality someday.


Thank you for sharing your experiences.


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## Lisa-SH

Chez52 said:


> It is interesting to read everyone’s varied experiences. It is also interesting to see how some people are able to dismiss my experience as ‘pretentious’ and ‘in my head’. My request was not for judgement upon my interpretations of my experiences. The fact of those two situations is we will never know. I am mature enough to continue a healthy working relationship with this coworker regardless of what my suspicions may be. Previous history with this coworker included.
> 
> It is always wise to keep an open mind and to view things from all possible angles in any situation.
> 
> Unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world where we are all happy for each other’s achievements and successes. It would be nice to hope for this to be a reality someday.
> 
> 
> Thank you for sharing your experiences.


The answer is very simple - No. CHANEL bags or shoes are not something expensive, especially nowadays, why people will feel jealous or different about other ppl whom carrying about it? I am curious now.


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## Addicted to bags

eckw said:


> A few years ago, before I got bitten by the Chanel bug, I had this coworker who liked buying designer bags. I know she is comfortably off and can afford them but she had also shared with me that her marriage was/is not that happy (her husband cheating on her).
> 
> Anyway we were lunching one day and went into Chanel together afterwards as she needed to exchange a bag and she then proceeded to buy two more. I remember asking her if she was ok, thinking she was buying out of unhappiness related to her home life.  (She said she was fine.) To this day, I still feel a bit embarrassed about my judgement/ignorance. Now I know better. One can be happy and well-adjusted and still succumb to mad Chanel buying!
> 
> I guess what I’m trying to say is that designer bags do bring out positive and negative reactions in others. I’ve bonded with ppl over mutual love of Chanel and other designers. I’ve also experienced teasing (good-natured and otherwise from friends) as well as meanness (bumping/looks) from strangers. I guess some see carrying luxury goods as a form of boasting? Luckily though I’ve never had anyone spill anything on my bags! That would be the worse!


Off topic, but your avatar is adorable!


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## kally777

Me yes, it's feeling really different and bad


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## stylistbydesign

SomethingGoodCanWork said:


> I have read posts here where others have asked the same question OP is asking, so I'm sure what she is describing does happen. But from most of what I've read on tPF about bag begrudging, it will more likely come from someone you already know, like family, co-workers or general acquaintances.
> 
> And a lot of the time, people are just unintentionally clumsy which is why I try to dress for the occasion, even if it means I can't wear a nice bag or will have to disguise it in a lowly shopping bag


^^This.....the only negative/envious reactions I've had are from family members or acquaintances.  It's been quite clear what they feel, since they've actually voiced rude remarks.  But, since I don't buy luxury goods for anyone's approval but my own, I don't care.  I've never had any rudeness from strangers about bags, more just curiosity, but I'm not even sure I would have noticed if someone intended to be rude.


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## MahaM

halfviet87 said:


> I feel the same yesterday i bought my dream bag at chanel , i went to starbucks all the girls around look at me haahha i don’t care , enjoy this moment
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 4161707


Enjoy your Chanel !


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## mdcx

Chez52 said:


> It is interesting to read everyone’s varied experiences. It is also interesting to see how some people are able to dismiss my experience as ‘pretentious’ and ‘in my head’. My request was not for judgement upon my interpretations of my experiences. The fact of those two situations is we will never know. I am mature enough to continue a healthy working relationship with this coworker regardless of what my suspicions may be. Previous history with this coworker included.
> 
> It is always wise to keep an open mind and to view things from all possible angles in any situation.
> 
> Unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world where we are all happy for each other’s achievements and successes. It would be nice to hope for this to be a reality someday.
> 
> 
> Thank you for sharing your experiences.


I live in a very big city now where there is an abundance of wealth and designer goods. In my experience here, no-one comments on such things because they are so common.
I have also lived in very small places though, with not much wealth, where there was much more of a "fighting for position" mentality and people definitely were not happy to see someone else's success or wealth displayed openly and would deliberately make fun or try to drag them down a peg. It does happen.


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## MahaM

Lisa-SH said:


> The answer is very simple - No. CHANEL bags or shoes are not something expensive, especially nowadays, why people will feel jealous or different about other ppl whom carrying about it? I am curious now.



I agree with you that it doesn’t matter what I carry or wear nobody should be judged in appearance.

And the word “ expensive “ is Relative . I can afford Chanel bags and shoes but I still consider them expensive.
That you see lot of people wearing Chanel for example, it doesn’t mean they are not expensive.


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## mdcx

Lisa-SH said:


> The answer is very simple - No. CHANEL bags or shoes are not something expensive, especially nowadays, why people will feel jealous or different about other ppl whom carrying about it? I am curious now.


Really? Wow, obviously it depends on your point of view. A $5 to $6,000 Chanel Boy bag is certainly something expensive to me.


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## mdcx

halfviet87 said:


> I feel the same yesterday i bought my dream bag at chanel , i went to starbucks all the girls around look at me haahha i don’t care , enjoy this moment
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 4161707


Enjoy, they were probably wishing it was them with the Chanel bag


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## eckw

Addicted to bags said:


> Off topic, but your avatar is adorable!



Thank you! [emoji4] I love yours too!!


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## closetluxe

I have a coworker who likes to share with me when she buys anything Chanel, but sadly it’s not a 2-way street.  When I recently tried to share with her my new Chanel handbag, her response was “What’s going on?  Why are you buying so many purses?  Didn’t you buy a whole bunch of handbags when you went to Europe?”  My response to her was “That was a year ago and why not?”  It made me sad that the one person in my daily life that I can share my love of luxury with only wants to share her stuff but doesn’t want to hear about mine.


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## Mustwork4bags

I’m surprised people are experiencing these jealousy tendencies towards their bags.....I thought in today’s world, since I see 20 something’s carrying Chanel, that it’s more common to see them out and about. Or now that we have Chanel all over social media, that people aren’t  in awe over an expensive bag. I guess I never thought about it, maybe it makes people want them more and they get frustrated when they can’t “have it now”. I wish society didn’t have a “I gotta have it now” mentality. I didn’t get my first Chanel til much later in life, and after I raised 4 babies. I do feel weird about carrying them, but that’s because I’m in my own head. There is so much more satisfaction in actually working hard for your bags. Interesting topic.


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## kellytheshopper

I had three people in my life that I felt like I could truly share my luxury purchases with. Two of them always thought I was crazy for spending that much money, but they said it jokingly and then went on to compliment whatever I had just purchased. The other would always have something negative to say, “that’s not my style, it’s not classic, you won’t wear it too much, why would you get that color, etc.” I always believed it was out of jealously based on her own life’s circumstances. Sad, I always was taught to be happy for others and accept that some people will have “more” than I. More money, bigger houses, more free time, take more vacations, etc.

So now I only share with the two[emoji6]


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## PurpleRabbit

jellyv said:


> Well, I disagree, as I stated. I do feel this is *mostly *a self-conscious attitude independent of what's going on "out there."
> 
> The idea that random people in general are envious depends on the idea that others aren't themselves able to acquire special goodies.  Well, lots of people can and do--the luxury industry is doing fine, with more aspirational buyers than ever carrying expensive bags.  Not to mention the general public's inability to detect if one's bag is authentic or fake and hence unworthy of jealousy.



I get you, but when some direct their jealousy toward a person with comment it's no longer a subject of opinion but indeed a fact.   We can have different opinions but we can not have different facts.   The fact is there is envy out there in the world and sometimes its over hand bags weather you agree with it or not.  Just think about it.  It's a part of why we are all here because it's a safe haven for lovers of handbags, purses, pocketbooks   I like being here for the fun and seeing everyone else enjoy their purchases so I comment no further.


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## Firstchanellv28

I didn’t really understood such jealousy coz I’m never jealous of anyone, really. If they have more bags, bigger houses or “sportier” cars, I’m happy for them. Well it’s your life and you can do what you wanna do with anything you have but just don’t be in debt, borrow, steal or kill just to have them.
I had to admit I never really like any material stuff esp branded bags and such I just love my simple world and I didn’t need to look for them even clothing back then as it was given. So I was busy working, saving, offerings & some travelling. I have saved up quite an amount myself.
I got married, decided to reward myself with a chanel bag and went to Europe the 2nd time(this time with my dh instead of fam), there I went down the slippery hills in just few yrs.
I “labored” for more than 10yrs & left after maternity leaves; stayed at home to be a full time bf mom to my baby.
There; all the jealousy from people started, incl relatives. They drop me a text whenever I post my “ootd” pics or saw me with a “chanel”. ( Hence I love purseforum; I get to share my joy with lovely friends here. Typical question; why are you buying so many chanel bags? You’re not working now how are you gonna carry them? Some blondie will ask where do you get so much money from? Chanel is not in fashion now it’s Balenciaga..And the list goes on; I just thought to myself while you were still studying I hv been working( I was a top stud & I graduated way earlier.) While you were busy spending your money weekly on Zara or Max Mara/ Cafe or Bar, I was busy saving as I don’t need any of it. I was a simple living life to the fullest. I still am but I   Chanel/Pretty Lil Things now! So jealousy is something I cannot comprehend.


----------



## namie

My workplace is different. Everyone carries a designer bag (most common is Chanel) and uses designer wallet (most common is Louis Vuitton) so there is no one who would be jealous.


----------



## jboston

I only stare at bags that I find interesting or love.  Others love it when you compliment them on their bags on the street.  I know many moms in my area loves to go get their hair done ($200 color, cut, wash & blow-outs).  Some also like to get weekly mani/pedi.  Many also are always traveling or have nannies and housekeepers or live in 8k-10k monthly rentals.  Some own a car and rents $500 or more monthly garage.  I personally love luxury goods and SLGs.   All this money adds up to a lux handbag or SLG for me once in a while.  That is how I like to spent my money.  I love this handbag community where I can chat with others without judgement.  We congratulate each other and pat each other on the backs when we buy stuffs that we love or find a good deal.  We help others find things that they sometimes have difficulty in finding.  Sometimes, I do wish to have a local friend with the same passion for lux bags and SLGs to go shopping with.  It’s fun to go shopping with a friend.


----------



## Shelby33

I hope you don't mind if I pop into this thread as I don't own any Chanel and this is my first post here. 
I know a lot of ppl hate MK but I was at Savers and found a MK Collection Skorpios tote for like 25.00. Last week I was using it and went to the pharmacy, and a woman said to me "Oh a collection bag, hmm, must be nice" in a nasty tone. So I can only imagine that carrying a Chanel could garner some serious jealousy. 
By the way, I think all of your bags are really beautiful, hope you don't mind me jumping in


----------



## Capuccino16

PurpleRabbit said:


> I also like to compliment others with nice handbags and usually ask if they are members of the purse.  So far I have not gotten a yes I am on TPF.   I have found that most women are not receptive to the compliment.  I am just a friendly person and happy for everyone.   Once a stranger walked up to me and rudely asked,  "How did you pay for your Chanel bag?"   *My response was your Husband is a generous man* .   Yes, the answer was a bit over the top but I was extremely offended by the question.



LMAO here, come sit by me.


----------



## PurseFlights

I feel like my top tier bags, no one around me has any clue what it is. For instance, my all black Birkin is only commented on by other purse lovers. I feel like 99% of the population doesn’t know the prestige of an Hermès bag LOL

I feel like the general public is more aware of Chanel and LV bags, so I am asked about them more when I wear mine.

I get more negative-esque comments with my logo’s bags like Chanel and such. But my non-logo’d bags, like my Céline box and Birkin tend to get more positive comments.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

Capuccino16 said:


> LMAO here, come sit by me.



The delivery was very polite


----------



## lovecouture

I carry expensive bags, wear designer shoes, designer jewelry and expensive clothes. I do this on a daily basis as this is just my stuff. I have not noticed people being deliberately rude, jealous, bumping in to me because of the designer items on my body. I have noticed people looking, but I do the exact same thing when I see someone wearing something that I like, I look!

I have had a couple of situations where people have made comments which have made me feel uncomfortable. 

I have had a woman who goes to my gym walk up to me and ask me how I afford all my purses. I said: “I work”. 

I’ve had a co-worker make a comment about my jewelry in front of other women, she said: OMG those are the Gucci bamboo bracelets I just saw in a magazine, they cost like 4000$ each! I shrugged my shoulders and said they were fake. 

I’ve had my husband’s male friend comment that he worries about our finances because his wife was carrying an Aldo bag and I was carrying a 3000$ Chanel bag, I told him it was a 7000$ Chanel bag and that our finances are none of his business. 

Years ago my sister in law made a comment saying that I should sell my designer bags to pay for my upcoming wedding to her brother…My husband and I no longer have a relationship with his sister.

Long story short, there will always be jealous people. These people may be triggered by a bag, piece of jewelry, your tight and toned behind, great hair, or whatever else they see.


----------



## fally

lovecouture said:


> I carry expensive bags, wear designer shoes, designer jewelry and expensive clothes. I do this on a daily basis as this is just my stuff. I have not noticed people being deliberately rude, jealous, bumping in to me because of the designer items on my body. I have noticed people looking, but I do the exact same thing when I see someone wearing something that I like, I look!
> 
> I have had a couple of situations where people have made comments which have made me feel uncomfortable.
> 
> I have had a woman who goes to my gym walk up to me and ask me how I afford all my purses. I said: “I work”.
> 
> I’ve had a co-worker make a comment about my jewelry in front of other women, she said: OMG those are the Gucci bamboo bracelets I just saw in a magazine, they cost like 4000$ each! I shrugged my shoulders and said they were fake.
> 
> I’ve had my husband’s male friend comment that he worries about our finances because his wife was carrying an Aldo bag and I was carrying a 3000$ Chanel bag, I told him it was a 7000$ Chanel bag and that our finances are none of his business.
> 
> Years ago my sister in law made a comment saying that I should sell my designer bags to pay for my upcoming wedding to her brother…My husband and I no longer have a relationship with his sister.
> 
> Long story short, there will always be jealous people. These people may be triggered by a bag, piece of jewelry, your tight and toned behind, great hair, or whatever else they see.



Thank you dear @lovecouture , your post made my day.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

halfviet87 said:


> I feel the same yesterday i bought my dream bag at chanel , i went to starbucks all the girls around look at me haahha i don’t care , enjoy this moment
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 4161707



Did you do a reveal of your new baby?   I'm nosey i want to see your new beauty


----------



## Vlad

quality_luv said:


> That co-work spilling the drink sounds deliberate...I need to share that as a person of color--I get way BETTER service & respect when wearing a "status" handbag. From JFK airport to the Fillmore theatre, I wear luxury bags like a shield.



That is such a sad testimony to our society as a whole.


----------



## Swanky

I've never dressed up or pulled one of my Chanels out to go shopping. 
In my experience, my behavior somewhat earns how good/poor my service can be. 
I can afford what I'm shopping for and I know it, so eye contact and confidence goes a long way.  If I want service I make sure I'm giving that vibe, if I know I'm just browsing I avoid eye contact and chatter. 
I think people who maybe a little uncomfortable with luxury shopping may give off a little vibe as well.

Obviously that's not always the case lol
I've had terrible service with and without an expensive bag or shoes on


----------



## sdkitty

I don't carry Hermes or Chanel.  To the extent I do carry expensive bags, most of the time I don't think people I'm around know what they are - except when I go shopping high end stores where the bags are sold.

As far as OPs co-worker intentionally spilling something on her bag - that would be really aggressive and evil.  As far as someone running into her at the train station or whatever, probably nothing to do with her bag.  I have people running into my ankles and cutting me off with their shopping carts at Costco all the time.


----------



## Gabs007

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...



Nope, not really, but then I do not like things with flashy labels and tend to buy what I like, often things under the radar, so 99% won't know what I am carrying or wearing. I mean at the end of the day, no matter how much the bag has cost and what label is on it, it is an item to transport my stuff, I don't want anything I have to carry around and be worried all the time, I might love a certain design but in all honesty, the most important part of buying is "How will it look a bit worn" if that still appeals I will buy it. As for Chanel, only the odd item that grabs me, in general too stale for my taste and I get the feel of the being too much "look, can afford status symbol" so I tend to stay away from the bags, the logos annoy me almost as much as the LV logo, but some of their purses are lovely. I know the workmanship and leather is gorgeous, I just don't like that big double C logo. Wouldn't put anyone down for liking it or try and ruin it, to each their own. The funny thing is the people who like them possibly won't understand that I can spend about as much for something that isn't immediately recognizable as something expensive, but that is where personal preference comes in.

Though in all honesty, the fact that some ladies here said they carry a bag like a shield and feel the need to do so, that is pretty shocking. Defining a person by what kind of bag s/he can afford? Gosh, I know a ton of people who are possibly much better people than I am, doing much more worthy jobs and earn less and can't ever afford designer, it really made me realise how lucky we are to be able to afford such luxuries and such "problems"


----------



## Tinn3rz

jboston said:


> I only stare at bags that I find interesting or love.  Others love it when you compliment them on their bags on the street.  I know many moms in my area loves to go get their hair done ($200 color, cut, wash & blow-outs).  Some also like to get weekly mani/pedi.  Many also are always traveling or have nannies and housekeepers or live in 8k-10k monthly rentals.  Some own a car and rents $500 or more monthly garage.  I personally love luxury goods and SLGs.   All this money adds up to a lux handbag or SLG for me once in a while.  That is how I like to spent my money.  I love this handbag community where I can chat with others without judgement.  We congratulate each other and pat each other on the backs when we buy stuffs that we love or find a good deal.  We help others find things that they sometimes have difficulty in finding.  Sometimes, I do wish to have a local friend with the same passion for lux bags and SLGs to go shopping with.  It’s fun to go shopping with a friend.



This! People just have different priorities - some  like twice a week blowouts and mani/pedis, and I like bags. 

I’d never spend $90 on workout pants, but I’d gladly spend $200 on a Twilly. [emoji28]

I live in the Bay Area, where even if you’re well off by standards of different parts of the country, you’re still considered average or below average here. No worries about people being jealous of anything I carry [emoji23].


----------



## nycmamaofone

Gabs007 said:


> Nope, not really, but then I do not like things with flashy labels and tend to buy what I like, often things under the radar, so 99% won't know what I am carrying or wearing. I mean at the end of the day, no matter how much the bag has cost and what label is on it, it is an item to transport my stuff, I don't want anything I have to carry around and be worried all the time, I might love a certain design but in all honesty, the most important part of buying is "How will it look a bit worn" if that still appeals I will buy it. As for Chanel, only the odd item that grabs me, in general too stale for my taste and I get the feel of the being too much "look, can afford status symbol" so I tend to stay away from the bags, the logos annoy me almost as much as the LV logo, but some of their purses are lovely. I know the workmanship and leather is gorgeous, I just don't like that big double C logo. Wouldn't put anyone down for liking it or try and ruin it, to each their own. The funny thing is the people who like them possibly won't understand that I can spend about as much for something that isn't immediately recognizable as something expensive, but that is where personal preference comes in.
> 
> Though in all honesty, the fact that some ladies here said they carry a bag like a shield and feel the need to do so, that is pretty shocking. Defining a person by what kind of bag s/he can afford? Gosh, I know a ton of people who are possibly much better people than I am, doing much more worthy jobs and earn less and can't ever afford designer, it really made me realise how lucky we are to be able to afford such luxuries and such "problems"



Honestly the comment about carrying a luxury bag like a shield doesn't shock me at all. The reality is different for people of color. It reminds me of the time Oprah got treated badly at Hermes because they thought she was an ordinary black woman. Disgusting but true.


----------



## mdcx

lovecouture said:


> I’ve had my husband’s male friend comment that he worries about our finances because his wife was carrying an Aldo bag and I was carrying a 3000$ Chanel bag, I told him it was a 7000$ Chanel bag and that our finances are none of his business.


Haha, I love your response!


----------



## BagsNBaguettes

lovecouture said:


> Years ago my sister in law made a comment saying that I should sell my designer bags to pay for my upcoming wedding to her brother…My husband and I no longer have a relationship with his sister.



I would have verbally disemboweled her on the spot and left her crying in her own embarrassment and self loathing. The nerve!

Did she ever pull anything similar to this?


----------



## lovecouture

BagsNBaguettes said:


> I would have verbally disemboweled her on the spot and left her crying in her own embarrassment and self loathing. The nerve!
> 
> Did she ever pull anything similar to this?



Now, I think back at it and laugh, but it was the beginning of the end of the relationship. It’s funny how you see a person’s true colours in the snarky comments they make. Best of all, I was carrying a Louis Vuitton speedy that cost 600$ at the time. Imagine she would see me now... I still have my classic speedy, but have upped my game considerably. She would DIE


----------



## ahimsa_l

I get it from my sisters, and my friends from high school.  I'm the youngest of all my sisters, and the most financially comfortable, so I feel that there is a bit of resentment there.  It's weird, they will roll their eyes and say, "You bought ANOTHER bag?" but then ask, "Hey, can you buy me a LV bag when you go to Paris/Hong Kong?"  I'm like, "I thought you didn't like designer stuff?"  My friends from high school are all struggling artists in the Bay Area who have money-managing problems, so they can't understand why I would ever drop tons of money on fashion.  When I bought my first Chanel (holy grail) bag, I told my husband that I will never bring it to a family function, but he thought I was silly. He told me to flaunt that bag because "nobody should be ashamed to wear Chanel."
Also. I will gouge a person if they deliberately poured something on my Chanel bag!


----------



## Molly0

I once had a leather coat that was admired by quite a few of the people I worked with and as crazy as it sounds one of the co-workers  would continually knock it on the floor in the coat closet at work!   I just don’t have time for people like that!


----------



## PurpleRabbit

nycmamaofone said:


> Honestly the comment about carrying a luxury bag like a shield doesn't shock me at all. The reality is different for people of color. It reminds me of the time Oprah got treated badly at Hermes because they thought she was an ordinary black woman. Disgusting but true.



Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!  I avoided bringing up race in my previous post. But you are so true the reality for women of color is different.  Hence my earlier response that some people feel that certain people should not have certain things.  I have PhD in Luxury shopping and have been ignored in certain stores in certain areas of the country.  I won't say that I have been treated poorly but I will say that many have attempted to treat me poorly.  I shut it down very politely and establish that I am the one spending the money.   I do not put the SA through the agony of me dealing with their attitude.   I always ask for someone else or the Manager.  Because I deserve the best.   I have made lifelong relationships with more than a few SAs.   The struggle is real.


----------



## Nancy in VA

It also depends on what "floats your boat" - I am not wealthy and do not really spend my money on other types of luxury and I just love luxury bags and most people probably assume they are fake anyway - I like it like that - if they did know what I spent they would think I was "nuts" - but just to have something with delicious leather and perfect craftsmanship really makes me happy - and if my girlfriends are richer than me I am happy for them - I enjoy it - no reason to be envious - everyone has a cross to bear -


----------



## vintagefinds

Nope. And for everyone one person who can identify Chanel enough to realize I spent 4K on a bag and envies me, there's probably two who think I'm an idiot for blowing that much on a piece of leather on a chain.

I really think some people want to be envied for "lux." It's tempting to think other women (who can be very jealous, amirite? it's embedded into that extra X chromosome-- is there a barf emoji I can use here?) want to be you because you went to a store and bought something. But most of us are happy to be ourselves.


----------



## Simplyput

Yes, there is a Facebook group called Kerr Lake that has blocked me because I have told them to tell them to tell their realtor friends to stop contacting my dad to sell his property.

I always have the problem with people doubting my and my family members degrees, too.

And of course the prices I paid at the thrift store for designer items. I have a well paying job, but I still love the thrill of the hunt.

It is so hard...i really shouldn't have to feel the need to prove anything just because I refuse to give my sources.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

vintagefinds said:


> Nope. And for everyone one person who can identify Chanel enough to realize I spent 4K on a bag and envies me, there's probably two who think I'm an idiot for blowing that much on a piece of leather on a chain.
> 
> I really think some people want to be envied for "lux." It's tempting to think other women (who can be very jealous, amirite? it's embedded into that extra X chromosome-- is there a barf emoji I can use here?) want to be you because you went to a store and bought something. But most of us are happy to be ourselves.




I often think that those who are envious really want to buy themselves a nice bag but don't want the same kinda judgment placed on them.  My goodness it so hard being strong fashionable


----------



## loves

if i were to be jealous, it'd be over something money cannot buy.


----------



## Iris Gris

This reminds me of a story: 
An old man worked at a gas station out in the country. A customer pulled in asked him, “So, what’s this town like? How are the people?” The old man said, “Well, what are they like where you come from?” The customer replied, “Oh, they’re a miserable bunch of jerks!” The old man replied, “Then I think you’ll find my town to be like that, too.”

The next customer pulled in, and, making small talk, asked the same question, to which the old man replied, “Well, what’s your own town like?” The customer replied, “Oh, they’re a great group of people!” to which the old man replied, “Well, I think you’ll find a great group of people here, too.”

If you truly believe that most women are petty and jealous, save for one or two enlightened souls whose lives are vicariously brightened by your spending $4000 on a handbag, then I think that’s what you’ll find in the world.

Note: if any of your coworkers are pouring liquid on you, asking about your personal finances, or criticizing your appearance, they should be reported to someone who, at the very least, cares about office productivity. Presumably, if your coworker wants to be able to afford a designer bag, they should spend more time actually working and less time poking their nose into people’s private business.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

Iris Gris said:


> This reminds me of a story:
> An old man worked at a gas station out in the country. A customer pulled in asked him, “So, what’s this town like? How are the people?” The old man said, “Well, what are they like where you come from?” The customer replied, “Oh, they’re a miserable bunch of jerks!” The old man replied, “Then I think you’ll find my town to be like that, too.”
> 
> The next customer pulled in, and, making small talk, asked the same question, to which the old man replied, “Well, what’s your own town like?” The customer replied, “Oh, they’re a great group of people!” to which the old man replied, “Well, I think you’ll find a great group of people here, too.”
> 
> If you truly believe that most women are petty and jealous, save for one or two enlightened souls whose lives are vicariously brightened by your spending $4000 on a handbag, then I think that’s what you’ll find in the world.
> 
> Note: if any of your coworkers are pouring liquid on you, asking about your personal finances, or criticizing your appearance, they should be reported to someone who, at the very least, cares about office productivity. Presumably, if your coworker wants to be able to afford a designer bag, they should spend more time actually working and less time poking their nose into people’s private business.




Your advice is wonderful and your story is great but TPF is a place where we are supposed to be able to vent and share handbag experiences without judgment even if its petty and non existent to some members.  I think we can all agree that there are great people in this world, but the purpose of this thread is to vent about the jealous ones.  We have to release that negative energy somewhere right?  Not all of these experiences  took place at work.


----------



## jellyv

vintagefinds said:


> I really think some people want to be envied for "lux." It's tempting to think other women (who can be very jealous, amirite? it's embedded into that extra X chromosome-- is there a barf emoji I can use here?) want to be you because you went to a store and bought something. But most of us are happy to be ourselves.



I do think this sort of thread is 98.9% about sunning in the window of one's own fabulosity.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.


----------



## xy9794

ahimsa_l said:


> I get it from my sisters, and my friends from high school.  I'm the youngest of all my sisters, and the most financially comfortable, so I feel that there is a bit of resentment there.


*THIS *describes me! I think you're my Chanel twin lol 

I see why you don't want to bring your bags to family events. I initially thought that, but I realized they will eventually get desensitized to seeing my bags or it will desensitize me to my surroundings - either way it's a win-win. 

____________

Hats off to those who feel this isn't true for them. It shows strength - I wish I knew.

Also, negative feelings towards our luxuries is out there, whether it's jealously or it not being about US in particular, but more about them: how some want to be unique in having it OR their problems with comparing themselves with others (and behave in a spiteful way).

In the end, whether we see the negativity or not, we can only control ourselves and it's up to us on how we respond/react to it. I hope we all reach "luxury peace" where none of this bothers us no matter the situation.


----------



## Shopgirl1996

Maybe the "jealousy" is more about some people not liking a person and just using the luxury item as another reason to criticize them.


----------



## Havanese 28

quality_luv said:


> That co-work spilling the drink sounds deliberate...I need to share that as a person of color--I get way BETTER service & respect when wearing a "status" handbag. From JFK airport to the Fillmore theatre, I wear luxury bags like a shield.


I hope that’s not the case.  If so, I’m sad.  I would venture to say you get treated well because you’re well- mannered and classy.  That’s the world I want us all to live in anyways


----------



## Kidclarke

I find most of the time I compliment someone on their designer bags they always assume I am being judgmental or snarky when I am honestly admiring. 
For me I feel like purseforum is the one place I can share a purchase where everyone is happy for you and admires. Everyone here understands we are sharing due to excitement/etc vs look at what I can afford or something.


----------



## Rachel88

I just purchased my first expensive bag, a Michael Kors Selma on sale for 112 euro's and a wallet for 55 euros. Some people can't be happy for others when they have things that they want but cannot have. So I just don't share it with anyone. I told a close friend of mine about the MK purchase, but she had just splurged her money on other things. And despite always being happy for her she couldn't be happy for me. So I just choose to not share it, besides some people may see it as boasting and whatnot.

Mostly people don't care, especially people that do not personally know you. People have their own things going on. However there are definitely people that do notice and can treat you better or worse because of it.


----------



## Postyco

Perhaps the subway is a very crowded fast paced environment and maybe this person didn’t even notice they wheeled over your foot.. let alone noticed your bags. I wonder if i’ve ever done something similar and have been accused of being jealous


----------



## fally

I hope you don't mind me chiming in this evening everyone.

So while envious or jealous is a bit harsh in my opinion when it comes to strangers, I will say that it's my own perceived notation that I have had to work on. Case and point, when I first started going into local boutiques and retailers who carried Chanel, I wore my everyday article of clothing such as jeans and a tee. I was treated in my eyes by SA's quite differently as I would when I wore more professional attire and carried at the time a Stella McCartney falabella bag.

It made me self-conscious to enter any designer establishment and try to engage with an SA due to my timidness. I then started to actually dress better whenever I wanted to shop or browse simply for fear of not getting assistance. All this changed when I was more comfortable reaching out to SA's via texting. Anonymity was blissful and completely changed my perspective on how you are treated when no one knows your income level but still felt the need to be rude or amazing based on your texts.

If I am walking by myself and someone bumps into me while there is plenty of room around then I will think to myself well perhaps they are just not paying attention. New Yorker's I can say for sure are always in a hurry to get somewhere, as I am one myself. But being that I am a brown woman in a very diverse neighborhood whose been cursed at for being an immigrant as well as my spouse and child who are American born. I tend to get more riled up about those racial slurs than I do about my designer handbag.

I have learned to let go of things that are out of my control and let the chips fall where they may. I should also note that my mom who was visiting, once commented on my first mini that "huh?, this is what you spent so much money on"? and then a few years later commented that she "deserved a Chanel for all that she had done for me". Now while this made me sad at the time, I simply don't react to comments regardless of the intent.

Hope my ramblings made sense everyone.


----------



## kellytheshopper

PurpleRabbit said:


> I also like to compliment others with nice handbags and usually ask if they are members of the purse.  So far I have not gotten a yes I am on TPF.   I have found that most women are not receptive to the compliment.  I am just a friendly person and happy for everyone.   Once a stranger walked up to me and rudely asked,  "How did you pay for your Chanel bag?"   My response was your Husband is a generous man .   Yes, the answer was a bit over the top but I was extremely offended by the question.



LOVE the response! I don’t think it was over the top, she was overly rude!!!

One time I was returning back to the US from a Caribbean vacation and the TSA agent asked me who paid for my trip...I was sooo offended! That is DEFINITELY not a security question! I wanted to say that my pimp did but I just wanted to get home [emoji23]


----------



## enright98

The fact that some of the tpf members are trying to articulate their experience of discrimination due to race and/ethnicity, and that there are responses which then seek to minimise or recast these experience by treating them as individual issues rather than a structural one, shows how far we still have in terms of acknowledging and respecting diversity.


----------



## Capuccino16

enright98 said:


> The fact that some of the tpf members are trying to articulate their experience of discrimination due to race and/ethnicity, and that there are responses which then seek to minimise or recast these experience by treating them as individual issues rather than a structural one, shows how far we still have in terms of acknowledging and respecting diversity.



That part. How is it easier to believe that a random stranger noticed a damn bag and treated someone poorly over it, than it is to acknowledge micro aggressions based on well known and widely documented systemic racism? Make it make sense.


----------



## enright98

To SomethingGoodCanWork: I think you are have misinterpreted. What I and others are, and have been saying, is that poor treatment can arise from individual jealousy or due to systemic discrimination such as race. The issue is when people try to dismiss the latter. That was made very clear.

The stories you posted are interesting and Linda Grant has written very good critical essays about the distortion of elite brands and exclusivity which resonate but I am not sure how the stories you posted relate to the specific instances of systemic discriminations on account of racial inequality. Perhaps you can elaborate?

Also, I would like to remind that civility, compassion and respect for diversity are key ingredients for a successful community. None of our individual experiences will match 100% to the other, but having the courtesy and respect to listen and understand from others’ perspective should be a priority.


----------



## SomethingGoodCanWork

enright98 said:


> To SomethingGoodCanWork: I think you are have misinterpreted. What I and others are, and have been saying, is that poor treatment can arise from individual jealousy or due to discrimination. The issue is when people try to dismiss racial discrimination. The stories you posted are interesting but not sure how they relate to systemic discriminations on account of racial inequality but perhaps you can elaborate?


I would like for you to first elaborate more on how "systemic discriminations on account of racial inequality" relate to a thread on bag jealousy. 

If you find the article I posted doesn't relate to discrimination and inequality, then maybe you are being dismissive?


----------



## 2cello

They are both related to the thread because issues of race and class intersect.


----------



## enright98

SomethingGoodCanWork said:


> I would like for you to first elaborate more on how "systemic discriminations on account of racial inequality" relate to a thread on bag jealousy.
> 
> If you find the article I posted doesn't relate to discrimination and inequality, then maybe you are being dismissive?



The tpf posters talked about their own experiences and you are trying to equate them collectively with a puff piece of an article? Now that’s what I call dismissive.


----------



## SomethingGoodCanWork

2cello said:


> They are both related to the thread because issues of race and class intersect.


When convenient, yes.


----------



## SomethingGoodCanWork

enright98 said:


> The tpf posters talked about their own experiences and you are trying to equate them collectively with a puff piece of an article? Now that’s what I call dismissive.


Fine, then we're both dismissive. Which was pretty much my point.


----------



## enright98

2cello said:


> They are both related to the thread because issues of race and class intersect.



Yes they do, however, what I find questionable, and this has happened a number of times in tpf, is that when people speak up about their own individual experiences which relate to broader structural inequalities, there will be posts which counter such experiences either by them as rarity or an issue of lack of self confidence.

I am also not bought by generalisation arguments which are “explained” by a news article. You can find anything on the internet these days. What would be more productive is to ask questions and listen to what people have to say, which they have already expressed in this thread.


----------



## remainsilly

Chez52 said:


> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?


Yes.
Also for being pretty, married, skilled in areas & anything random others needed to hate about, at any given moment.
Meh.


Chez52 said:


> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them.


Of course they do. So do men.
People want. They equate having stuff with success, ease, happiness, etc.
They believe stuff is the answer to changing bad things into good.
And rarely consider the work/sacrifice/time necessary to afford stuff. Or how much maintenance is involved, keeping nice stuff nice.
Or that, realistically, everyone cannot own everything. We each must make choices.


Chez52 said:


> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...


I have been told, flat out, by people who were envious of me--&we had good conversations.
Learned about one another.

I have found car dents, scratches on items, rude notes on doors, etc.
I have experienced bullying & smack talk from tpf members.
But I have experienced an equal amount of support, free gifts, kindness from strangers.
So I balance the a$$holes against the angels.
And believe angels still keep greater numbers in this world, thankfully.

Also, for whatever it has to do with topic, I walked into hermes, asked to see a birkin, & was shown one.
No hoops. No multi-thousands purchases. Just asked.
Then I did not buy it. Because found ugly.
No shame or pressure. Just thanks & goodbye.
I firmly believe online experiences are not the whole story. And have a slant. Usually designed to benefit someone financially. On tpf, generally the numerous resellers. But just my opinion.

Basically, I am the problem.
If allow negative experiences to rule my world.
The solution is to let go, waste no more time & move on. Then seek the good. 
Hope helps.


----------



## Capuccino16

SomethingGoodCanWork said:


> When convenient, yes.


Oh, girl. LOL


----------



## jellyv

enright98 said:


> The fact that some of the tpf members are trying to articulate their experience of *discrimination due to race and/ethnicity,* and that there are responses which then seek to *minimise or recast these experience* by treating them as individual issues rather than a structural one



Not sure what posts you're talking about or what you imagine the thread topic to be. I don't see a single challenge to the expressed experience of people of color. However,  this is not what the thread is about, and what it _is_ about is what I at least was addressing.


----------



## Gabs007

nycmamaofone said:


> Honestly the comment about carrying a luxury bag like a shield doesn't shock me at all. The reality is different for people of color. It reminds me of the time Oprah got treated badly at Hermes because they thought she was an ordinary black woman. Disgusting but true.



Nope, Oprah's experience was certainly not racism, if you don't know anybody in the store and you walz into a Hermes store, your skin pigmentation won't matter, you will get the same treatment. Hermes likes to keep a tight control on who buys their items, especially signature items like the Birkin and Kelly, walking in and "I want one" just is not going to work. no matter how much money you have.

I used to write for the magazine with the V and once asked a Hermes representative how they stay in business when they don't seem to want to sell their bags, he smiled and said "We have waiting lists for years, people want our bags and we want to keep it that way, not saturate the market!" Walking into a Hermes store as a stranger and declaring you want to buy one of their signature bags is actually a red flag to the staff. They want to avoid people buying and reselling them, keeping control of their brand, OK, some stores and SA might be snooty but that is not the idea behind it, Hermes rightly thinks that their bags are quite easily identifiable, so they want to avoid that there are pictures around of people behaving badly while carrying a Hermes bag, they control their image by controlling who gets to wear their signature product.

They see the Kelly or Birkin a bit like the "consummation" of a relationship and they don't want to have sex on the first date, so to speak. So if you want to buy one of their signature items, you buy something else first, you get known, you behave well with the staff, then you do mention that you would like...

If you think about it, it is a brilliant and very effective marketing and PR strategy, a lot of people who can afford an item can't get it, keeps the item in demand.

If Vogue does a shot, usually fashion houses will fall over themselves to send their items over,  Hermes, you ask, they come back, they tell you what they are willing to have used, and in a lot of the shots where a Birkin is featured, quite a few of them might be from Anna W's own collection or borrowed from one of her celebrity friends.

This policy gives Hermes a lot of control and keeps them in demand. Genius


----------



## Swanky

I think some might want to revisit the opening post. This topic isn’t about racism or discrimination or Hermes ....
Please try and stick to topic


----------



## Iris Gris

Swanky said:


> I think some might want to revisit the opening post. This topic isn’t about racism or discrimination or Hermes ....
> Please try and stick to topic



Indeed, my own reply was to the OP’s very first post in this thread (“Have you noticed people get jealous. . .”), in which nobody’s ethnicity, age, etc. were even mentioned.

My own attitude is that, unless someone has expressed to me that they really want a Chanel bag and are extremely bitter about not having one, I can’t assume people are envious of my bags (or anything else about me.) For all I know, they could be thinking, “Who would spend so much on a handbag?” or “Yuck, leather; she should go vegan” or “CC must be her initials; that’s kind of weird” or “UGH, what a cheap-looking Chanel knockoff” or— more likely— “Dang, I forgot to buy tp at the market.” 

I know that materialistic envy exists, but I really don’t believe that “the more you have, the more people envy you” is a general rule. There’s a whole world of frugal living out there and they are unmoved/put off by luxury items.


----------



## Stella0925

I don't usually feel ppl are jealous of me but i do feel ppl judging me lol


----------



## QuiteContrary11

Iris Gris said:


> Indeed, my own reply was to the OP’s very first post in this thread (“Have you noticed people get jealous. . .”), in which nobody’s ethnicity, age, etc. were even mentioned.
> 
> My own attitude is that, unless someone has expressed to me that they really want a Chanel bag and are extremely bitter about not having one, I can’t assume people are envious of my bags (or anything else about me.) For all I know, they could be thinking, “Who would spend so much on a handbag?” or “Yuck, leather; she should go vegan” or “CC must be her initials; that’s kind of weird” or “UGH, what a cheap-looking Chanel knockoff” or— more likely— “Dang, I forgot to buy tp at the market.”
> 
> I know that materialistic envy exists, but I really don’t believe that “the more you have, the more people envy you” is a general rule. There’s a whole world of frugal living out there and they are unmoved/put off by luxury items.



This.  If they even notice at all.  I bet one out of one hundred random people would even be able to ballpark what a nice bag costs- think about how many people on here mention not telling their partner what something costs, or their partner being shocked at the cost.  And these are people who are looking at the bags (of their partner) every day!  I live in Chicago. People only seem to notice when I’m literally on Oak Street.  When I travel to smaller cities, they notice nice things but Coach is approximately the high dollar frame of reference.  

BUT, I work in New York and it really is a whole different ballgame there.  I guess they pass out a starter pamphlet in the schools when you turn 14.   I imagine it’s the same in other super fashion conscious cities- London, LA, Hong Kong. Maybe Miami?  I can imagine some jealous / aggressive things happening there...


----------



## BagsNBaguettes

fally said:


> I have learned to let go of things that are out of my control and let the chips fall where they may. I should also note that my mom who was visiting, once commented on my first mini that "huh?, this is what you spent so much money on"? and then a few years later commented that she "deserved a Chanel for all that she had done for me". Now while this made me sad at the time, I simply don't react to comments regardless of the intent.



You should have said, "Then why didn't you name me Chanel? I'm worth more than any bag and that's priceless."

(Off topic, momma sounds a little narcissistic- I've got one or two in my own family and they are a pain to endure...)



kellytheshopper said:


> LOVE the response! I don’t think it was over the top, she was overly rude!!!
> 
> One time I was returning back to the US from a Caribbean vacation and the TSA agent asked me who paid for my trip...I was sooo offended! That is DEFINITELY not a security question! I wanted to say that my pimp did but I just wanted to get home [emoji23]



I would've uttered, "Your spouse did"....and watched the world burn.


----------



## bobolo

Funny you mention this but when I was 
Younger 
I would go to clubs and girls would deliberately try to burn a cigarette hole in my tights
Happened several times


----------



## DaBish

kellytheshopper said:


> LOVE the response! I don’t think it was over the top, she was overly rude!!!
> 
> One time I was returning back to the US from a Caribbean vacation and the TSA agent asked me who paid for my trip...I was sooo offended! That is DEFINITELY not a security question! I wanted to say that my pimp did but I just wanted to get home [emoji23]


I honestly thought that I was the only person in the world that this happened to! My jaw hit the floor reading your post. 
I was in Orlando airport and got pulled for the additional screening by tsa. He asked me who paid for my trip! I was so shocked that I fumbled to even answer him. 
Finally I said that I paid for it because I was just so ready to go. I was humiliated. I was dressed nice so couldn't figure out why he assumed someone else paid my way. Maybe I wasn't dressed as nice as I thought? Who knows .


----------



## Shopgirl1996

DaBish said:


> I honestly thought that I was the only person in the world that this happened to! My jaw hit the floor reading your post.
> I was in Orlando airport and got pulled for the additional screening by tsa. He asked me who paid for my trip! I was so shocked that I fumbled to even answer him.
> Finally I said that I paid for it because I was just so ready to go. I was humiliated. I was dressed nice so couldn't figure out why he assumed someone else paid my way. Maybe I wasn't dressed as nice as I thought? Who knows .



One time my DH (then my DBF) was asked how much did he pay for me while I was standing next to him.  We were at a home expo looking at bathroom fixtures and tubs. Don't know why that particular place would prompt someone to ask a question like that!  I was dressed in regular clothes (shorts and a t-shirt) but somehow I looked like a mail order bride? lol


----------



## mdcx

I mean, people do attack others out of envy. If you haven't seen or experienced that, then you are lucky. I grew up in a place where even wearing makeup was considered to be trying too hard and was worthy of negative comments. And I am not beautiful. Naturally beautiful girls would get the extra treatment, like they deserved to be taken down several pegs because they obviously thought too highly of themselves, just by being born pretty. 
I am lucky to now live in a place where people tend to enjoy looking nice and admire others rather than try to drag them down. But if I went back to my hometown I would not expect the same treatment.

Luxury items definitely can act as a shield or as a shorthand to say "I am worthy". And it does work that way in our world sometimes.


----------



## rose60610

Here in Chicago and many of its burbs, you see a lot of designer bags. It would depend on personal relationships as to who might be jealous/judgmental about bags, etc. 

I've gotten compliments on my bags now and then. When I had an outside-the-home job, co-workers commented on each others' bags nicely. If I were to ride the El, ((public transportation in Chicago proper) which I no longer do) I'd hide a nice bag in a TJ Maxx plastic bag. If I ride the Metra (public transportation between Chicago and burbs) I'm more comfortable carrying nicer bags, depending on destination. 

I do have suspicions of getting nicer tables at restaurants due to great bags. I almost dropped when DH concurred one day. 

Some people thrive on being snarky. Bags can be snark triggers for those trolling for excuses to snark off.


----------



## DesigChanel

Envy exists, it wouldn’t be a word otherwise. Anyone and everyone can be envious of others at times. It’s when people act negatively or inappropriately to those emotions towards another person that a line is crossed. I have had someone run a key along the side of my luxury car before and it was just parked innocently in a car park. 

Are we supposed to stop owning nice homes, luxury cars, clothing or handbags because they can bring out these feelings in others? Or should society learn that regardless of what we do or do not own it doesn’t define who we are and mistreating another person because they have more or less than you is never ok. 

Thankfully the people that behave inappropriately are in the minority.


----------



## Lemonmint

I'm a huge bag perv.  When I see someone with a beautiful bag I drool drool and slobber slobber giving them compliments.  Sometimes I ask to touch the bag so I can be 'blessed' by it.  I get really happy to see a bag in action in person, not just on store shelves.  I wonder if someone might take that as jealousy.  But cross my heart, I just admire them, I don't want to snatch them and run!

BTW once in a great while when I carry my good bag, I see some women trying not to stare but can't help looking at my bag.  I get a cheap thrill out of it.  I am horrible.


----------



## Amaltheaa

I live in Boston...so no.  Nobody seems to care what they look like here, which isn't a big deal...but at least dress decently when you go to the ballet or a nice restaurant.  So, I get dirty looks a lot.  Not necessarily because of purses or accessories but rather because I put some bit of effort into my appearance which irritates people.
My partner and I went to a show (Waitress, right before it went to Broadway) and people were in sweatpants and flip flops.  Nutcracker at the Boston Ballet.... dirty North Face jackets and jeans.  Meanwhile, my partner is in a nice suit and I'm in a vintage wool dress and heels with a hat and gloves.  Boy did we get looks that night!


----------



## Suburbachic

KittyKat65 said:


> I completely agree.  If someone is "jealous" of my bags, I would never know.  I don't even exist in a world where a handbag defines me.  Right now I am carrying a Birkin because I freakin' love them!  I adore the shape and simplicity and they carry all of my guff.  Not one of my friends knows what it is or how much it cost.  They are very under the radar in my neck of the woods.  I am judged as the person I am and not what is on my arm. I have had ONE person comment on a Chanel flap bag I carried, "Oooh, I love your Coach," and I didn't correct her.  I just enjoyed that she thought my handbag was pretty and thanked her for the compliment.  If someone ran over my foot on the subway, I would a) assume they did it by accident, and b) they would apologize.  There is not one part of my psyche that would think it would be because of a bag.


 I got a similar one..A sales person at a nice clothing store complimented my bag but he mistook my LV City Steamer for a Birkin. I'll take that compliment coz it will be awhile before I can afford a B. Love my LV though


----------



## Suburbachic

Lemonmint said:


> I'm a huge bag perv.  When I see someone with a beautiful bag I drool drool and slobber slobber giving them compliments.  Sometimes I ask to touch the bag so I can be 'blessed' by it.  I get really happy to see a bag in action in person, not just on store shelves.  I wonder if someone might take that as jealousy.  But cross my heart, I just admire them, I don't want to snatch them and run!
> 
> BTW once in a great while when I carry my good bag, I see some women trying not to stare but can't help looking at my bag.  I get a cheap thrill out of it.  I am horrible.


A lot of times DH will tell me who has been googly eyed over my bag when we are out and about. I know he is just especially proud that he is able to support my obsession 
A few weeks ago though when I was at Starbucks carrying my PS mini a girl was giving me the stare down. I kinda felt threatened and would not have been surprised if she grabbed my bag. The look she gave me was something else I have ever encountered


----------



## Christina48576

Gabs007 said:


> Nope, Oprah's experience was certainly not racism, if you don't know anybody in the store and you walz into a Hermes store, your skin pigmentation won't matter, you will get the same treatment. Hermes likes to keep a tight control on who buys their items, especially signature items like the Birkin and Kelly, walking in and "I want one" just is not going to work. no matter how much money you have.
> 
> I used to write for the magazine with the V and once asked a Hermes representative how they stay in business when they don't seem to want to sell their bags, he smiled and said "We have waiting lists for years, people want our bags and we want to keep it that way, not saturate the market!" Walking into a Hermes store as a stranger and declaring you want to buy one of their signature bags is actually a red flag to the staff. They want to avoid people buying and reselling them, keeping control of their brand, OK, some stores and SA might be snooty but that is not the idea behind it, Hermes rightly thinks that their bags are quite easily identifiable, so they want to avoid that there are pictures around of people behaving badly while carrying a Hermes bag, they control their image by controlling who gets to wear their signature product.
> 
> They see the Kelly or Birkin a bit like the "consummation" of a relationship and they don't want to have sex on the first date, so to speak. So if you want to buy one of their signature items, you buy something else first, you get known, you behave well with the staff, then you do mention that you would like...
> 
> If you think about it, it is a brilliant and very effective marketing and PR strategy, a lot of people who can afford an item can't get it, keeps the item in demand.
> 
> If Vogue does a shot, usually fashion houses will fall over themselves to send their items over,  Hermes, you ask, they come back, they tell you what they are willing to have used, and in a lot of the shots where a Birkin is featured, quite a few of them might be from Anna W's own collection or borrowed from one of her celebrity friends.
> 
> This policy gives Hermes a lot of control and keeps them in demand. Genius



Oprah was snubbed not once but twice at Hermes stores (as any quick google search will show).  It doesn't take an expert to see she faced what MANY people of color face when walking into any store.  I think its totally relevant to the discussion for people to share their experiences of being denied proper service or having been on he receiving end of microaggresions for the perception that they cannot afford or are not worthy of designer wares.


----------



## CaliforniaDreaming

No, I don't feel any envy directed my way when I wear my designer bags or shoes or anything else because I live in an area where people can easily afford whatever they want and just because they do not have an expensive bag on their arm doesnt mean they cant afford it.
I would find it weird if people got jealous over a handbag, that's silly... who knows what stuff people take out loans and credit card debts for.. a nice handbag doesnt mean anything these days!!! Plus from a distance it could be fake! Especially on the tube or subway. 
No I dont judge people on first impressions anymore.


----------



## SomethingGoodCanWork

fally said:


> *"I too, use my bags as a shield at times so I understand this perfectly. I don't like that I feel I need to, but it's just a reality of life sometimes. Sadly, flashing a wallet or a bag works, will get you service and will shut up an unpleasant snooty person. I think this goes for everyone, no matter what colour we are." Sunday 8/12/2018*
> 
> Good Afternoon again dear tpf members,
> 
> I don't think your post was the issue hun @Iris Gris and Sorry to the lovely @Swanky if my post has caused some confusion here.
> 
> My post was to the fact that one member did say initially that wearing their bag like a shield at times yielded better service. Now I was merely posting my experience in which that isn't always necessarily the case. I was cursed at based on the fact that I appeared to resemble an Arabic woman, which I have no issues with but it was while I was wearing my Chanel mini and Valentino flats. I am West Indian and on this particular incident there were many other patrons on the street who were of different nationalities but weren't targeted.
> 
> Now with that being said, i too could list the many instances in which I have had encounters with women who are friends, relatives, or strangers making "jealous" statements. I was made to feel as if I didn't look as if I could afford to shop in said boutiques , pretty woman comes to mind,  then why is it any different if an SA thinks that you shouldn't be served as you don't have a designer shield or it bag which constitutes service?
> 
> All I was trying to convey is that we will eventually prioritize certain things in life as we start to change our own perception.
> 
> Some members on here cannot have it both ways and speak out of both sides of their mouths.
> 
> Thanks again, and I really am sorry if the wonderful women who felt the need to reply and were attacked in any way shape of form for being so supportive and kind. Take care folks.


I only noticed just now that you edited your post and quoted my post, fally. If you are directing this or any of this to me in particular, could you please be more specific? As mods decided to remove not only the article I linked to in a later post, but also my comment with it, this discussion seems somewhat cut off. Mods decided this thread is not about discrimination, racism or Hermès, so I don't know why the narrative continues. 

You're always welcome to send me a PM. Or maybe someone could start a new thread in another forum, to discuss these other issues.


----------



## jellyv

Christina48576 said:


> he receiving end of microaggresions for the perception that they cannot afford or are not worthy of designer wares.



So racial micro aggression constitutes jealousy (the actual thread topic)? Envy=disdain, 
"Wish I had your stuff" = "Wish you didn’t have your stuff"? The logic here is...interesting.

Topic!


----------



## Suburbachic

Last time I went to Vegas, I went to a LV store with DH. It was not overly busy but I was not greeted and pretty much ignored. I walked out and hubby wondered why we were in and out of the store and I was not talking much..he knows my shopping habits  I told him I got upset. When I walk inside a store especially high end, I want to be acknowledged and assisted. This experience stung a bit. I was carrying a LV bag and part of me was proud to walk in there with my newest bag and show my appreciation for the brand. Needless to say I used hubby as my own shield. I'm filipino chinese..more chinese looking though and hubby is caucasian. People also often mistake me for a kid as I am petite and look a lot younger than my age. I dressed fashionably casual but I looked like I put some effort into it. So I don't know what it was about my profile that triggered them to not assist me. We went back to LV and hubby spoke with someone and now got assisted by the store director. Went to another LV down at the other part of the strip and was waited on by a very nice SA right when we entered. Night and day experience.
I do believe we can use our expensive designer brands to our advantage from time to time. It should not be the scale to which it measures our worth but sometimes other people do.
Part of me can relate to the book crazy rich asians. I grew up middle class in Manila. How you dress and the brands you wear matters to how other people treat you. If you look lousy you will definitely hear and feel it, especially relatives.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

kellytheshopper said:


> LOVE the response! I don’t think it was over the top, she was overly rude!!!
> 
> One time I was returning back to the US from a Caribbean vacation and the TSA agent asked me who paid for my trip...I was sooo offended! That is DEFINITELY not a security question! I wanted to say that my pimp did but I just wanted to get home [emoji23][/QUOTE
> 
> 
> 
> 
> DaBish said:
> 
> 
> 
> I honestly thought that I was the only person in the world that this happened to! My jaw hit the floor reading your post.
> I was in Orlando airport and got pulled for the additional screening by tsa. He asked me who paid for my trip! I was so shocked that I fumbled to even answer him.
> Finally I said that I paid for it because I was just so ready to go. I was humiliated. I was dressed nice so couldn't figure out why he assumed someone else paid my way. Maybe I wasn't dressed as nice as I thought? Who knows .
Click to expand...


----------



## PurpleRabbit

kellytheshopper said:


> LOVE the response! I don’t think it was over the top, she was overly rude!!!
> 
> One time I was returning back to the US from a Caribbean vacation and the TSA agent asked me who paid for my trip...I was sooo offended! That is DEFINITELY not a security question! I wanted to say that my pimp did but I just wanted to get home [emoji23]




Lol!!!    I understand.  Usually when someone throws shade they are unable to accept it.  But that should not stop you from keeping a couple of snappy comebacks in your designer bag.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

DaBish said:


> I honestly thought that I was the only person in the world that this happened to! My jaw hit the floor reading your post.
> I was in Orlando airport and got pulled for the additional screening by tsa. He asked me who paid for my trip! I was so shocked that I fumbled to even answer him.
> Finally I said that I paid for it because I was just so ready to go. I was humiliated. I was dressed nice so couldn't figure out why he assumed someone else paid my way. Maybe I wasn't dressed as nice as I thought? Who knows .



It is unfortunate that you were asked that question.  A close friend was asked the same question by TSA and a passenger .


----------



## DaBish

After reading this thread word for word, I'm now scared that people will mistake my compliments as jealously! Lol!
I really hope that I'm not coming across as jealous by complimenting a bad that belongs


PurpleRabbit said:


> It is unfortunate that you were asked that question.  A close friend was asked the same question by TSA and a passenger .


I'm beginning to wonder if they have some reason to ask it being that several of us have had this experience? I can't think of why it would matter who paid for the trip though .I was taken back by it and got upset. I wish I would've came up with a snarky response. Lol


----------



## Ceeyahd

DaBish said:


> I'm beginning to wonder if they have some reason to ask it being that several of us have had this experience? I can't think of why it would matter who paid for the trip though .I was taken back by it and got upset. I wish I would've came up with a snarky response. Lol



ETA: My thought is this has nothing to do with being reviewed as financially capable or deserving based on appearance.


----------



## cfiesta

The TSA question is usually aimed at identifying human trafficking. 
If you were a young woman carrying luxury brands and appeared nervous at all you could have been mistakenly identified as a victim of human trafficking. 
In real cases of human trafficking that occurs frequently in airports, traffickers will lure young women and girls in with expensive gifts and promises of acting or modeling jobs (usually), buy them a one-way plane ticket and send them off. The women are then trapped when they get off the plane into a life of sexual favors and performances with the promise that they'll one day "earn" their freedom when they "pay back" the money given to them in the form of luxury gifts and the airline ticket and whatever else they can leverage. 

One of the best ways personnel have been successful at stopping human trafficking in their tracks has been to ask potential victims questions like "who bought your plane ticket" and "are you flying with anyone today" and "when are you returning".


----------



## TraceySH

Christina48576 said:


> Oprah was snubbed not once but twice at Hermes stores (as any quick google search will show).  It doesn't take an expert to see she faced what MANY people of color face when walking into any store.  I think its totally relevant to the discussion for people to share their experiences of being denied proper service or having been on he receiving end of microaggresions for the perception that they cannot afford or are not worthy of designer wares.


I think nearly every woman has been the victim of some kind of stereotyping, whether microagressions based on racial bias, or other misdirected prejudices stemming from sexism, size-ism, age-ism, socioeconomic differences, homophobia or good ole' gender stereotypes. I always enjoy when others think that because I look a certain way, everything in my life must have just showed up on a silver platter. Or when an SA (or many times other women) says that my husband must be such a generous man to afford me all of these amazing bags, what does he do for a living (?). It's a battle to defend that I've worked for every dollar, and that I support my husband, not vice versa!

Unfortunately we live in a world where far too many people compare their insides to other people's outsides, and social media has only fanned the flames of you must have this or look like this or act like this or you are not 'ok', instead of judging who we are based on intrinsic qualities, principles and values.


----------



## Ceeyahd

cfiesta said:


> The TSA question is usually aimed at identifying human trafficking.
> If you were a young woman carrying luxury brands and appeared nervous at all you could have been mistakenly identified as a victim of human trafficking.
> In real cases of human trafficking that occurs frequently in airports, traffickers will lure young women and girls in with expensive gifts and promises of acting or modeling jobs (usually), buy them a one-way plane ticket and send them off. The women are then trapped when they get off the plane into a life of sexual favors and performances with the promise that they'll one day "earn" their freedom when they "pay back" the money given to them in the form of luxury gifts and the airline ticket and whatever else they can leverage.
> 
> One of the best ways personnel have been successful at stopping human trafficking in their tracks has been to ask potential victims questions like "who bought your plane ticket" and "are you flying with anyone today" and "when are you returning".


THIS ^^^
I just didn't want to offend, further, by expressing incorrectly.


----------



## ashin121

cfiesta said:


> The TSA question is usually aimed at identifying human trafficking.
> If you were a young woman carrying luxury brands and appeared nervous at all you could have been mistakenly identified as a victim of human trafficking.
> In real cases of human trafficking that occurs frequently in airports, traffickers will lure young women and girls in with expensive gifts and promises of acting or modeling jobs (usually), buy them a one-way plane ticket and send them off. The women are then trapped when they get off the plane into a life of sexual favors and performances with the promise that they'll one day "earn" their freedom when they "pay back" the money given to them in the form of luxury gifts and the airline ticket and whatever else they can leverage.
> 
> One of the best ways personnel have been successful at stopping human trafficking in their tracks has been to ask potential victims questions like "who bought your plane ticket" and "are you flying with anyone today" and "when are you returning".


Yes! I was thinking the same thing. Very nicely put!


----------



## PurpleRabbit

Christina48576 said:


> Oprah was snubbed not once but twice at Hermes stores (as any quick google search will show).  It doesn't take an expert to see she faced what MANY people of color face when walking into any store.  I think its totally relevant to the discussion for people to share their experiences of being denied proper service or having been on he receiving end of microaggresions for the perception that they cannot afford or are not worthy of designer wares.



I totally agree with you. There was a tinge of some type of  discrimination with Oprah's experience.  It is unfortunate but it happens.  It is a far reach for some to understand but once you have one of these experiences it will change you.


----------



## EmilyM111

TraceySH said:


> I think nearly every woman has been the victim of some kind of stereotyping, whether microagressions based on racial bias, or other misdirected prejudices stemming from sexism, size-ism, age-ism, socioeconomic differences, homophobia or good ole' gender stereotypes..



I've heard from my female co-worker aged 25 or something like that that sugar daddy (=my husband who's 20 years older than me and who once only bought me a small Gucci bag making a lot of fuss about it ) funded my Chanel bags. We are both highly educated, promoted to a management position at the same time and yet the fact that i spent my payrise and higher bonus this way bothered her. At the time I was upset, now I wear my bags with honour and am not shy about buying nice things from my own salary-typically when somebody is trying to be a smart ass I ask- would you ask me if i were a man?


----------



## meepabeep

While I was shopping in Goodwill today, a young woman (carrying a really cheap-looking white Chanel knock-off, ironically) bumped into my brand new Coach Chelsea bag. She also gave me a dirty look. About a minute later, in another part of the store, something told me to look at my bag, because it happened to me before with a Coach signature bag. An older woman bumped into the bag and then I found a pink pen mark on it (I don't own a pink pen). Anyway, sure enough, there was a dark mark on the side of my Chelsea, the side she bumped into. I immediately got it off with spit (gross, but hey, I had to act quickly, lol) and my shirt as a "rag". Luckily, the mark came off fairly easily, so I think it was makeup, and not pen this time. Oh, and I noticed her bag was open, so she could easily access what ever she hit my bag with.

So yeah, I think some people are jealous of others, and stuff like this happens a lot. Keying someone's car is a perfect example.


----------



## 2cello

Yeah no. I don’t think that was jealousy.  Rudeness maybe but not jealousy.


----------



## mdcx

cfiesta said:


> The TSA question is usually aimed at identifying human trafficking.
> If you were a young woman carrying luxury brands and appeared nervous at all you could have been mistakenly identified as a victim of human trafficking.
> In real cases of human trafficking that occurs frequently in airports, traffickers will lure young women and girls in with expensive gifts and promises of acting or modeling jobs (usually), buy them a one-way plane ticket and send them off. The women are then trapped when they get off the plane into a life of sexual favors and performances with the promise that they'll one day "earn" their freedom when they "pay back" the money given to them in the form of luxury gifts and the airline ticket and whatever else they can leverage.
> 
> One of the best ways personnel have been successful at stopping human trafficking in their tracks has been to ask potential victims questions like "who bought your plane ticket" and "are you flying with anyone today" and "when are you returning".


Thanks for sharing this, interesting insight.


----------



## meepabeep

Definitely rudeness, no doubt. Brought on by what...who knows. Maybe jealousy, maybe not


----------



## enright98

Thank you to all who have shared their various and at times, harrowing experiences. I will share some experiences and people can decide which one is racially motivated and which is due to lack of manners (but may be due to discrimination based on other factors):

1. I was at the Paris LV flagship store in 2016 and having a browse with a friendly sales associate nearby giving advice and suggestions. It was about 11ish in the morning and suddenly a large number of tourists came in. My previously chatty and friendly sales associate rolled her eyes and said to me, “Oh, the Chinese are here.”
2. Being lectured loudly (open space office) by a colleague that I spend “far too much on bags” and that this is irresponsible behaviour when the same colleague would spend the equivalent, if not more, on sports and hiking equipment.
3. My partner (we are from different racial backgrounds - he is Pakeha/Caucasian and I am Asian and “young” looking) and I were in an antique store. I enquired about a vase, to which the owner quoted an impossibly inflated figure and upon seeing my facial expression, said: “Well darling HE will pay anything for you.” We promptly left the store. I was carrying a LV monogram canvas, so maybe I had asked for it? (Not!)

There are other instances but the most hurtful are the ones where some white folks, thinking because I have a localised accent and mannerism, would try to collude me into a racist dialogue about “other” Asians. Why the f*** should I feel special about being a so-called honorary white?! But I try to focus on the positives, such as being in a rainbow spectrum of volunteers in my local community, united against intolerance of any kind.


----------



## DaBish

cfiesta said:


> The TSA question is usually aimed at identifying human trafficking.
> If you were a young woman carrying luxury brands and appeared nervous at all you could have been mistakenly identified as a victim of human trafficking.
> In real cases of human trafficking that occurs frequently in airports, traffickers will lure young women and girls in with expensive gifts and promises of acting or modeling jobs (usually), buy them a one-way plane ticket and send them off. The women are then trapped when they get off the plane into a life of sexual favors and performances with the promise that they'll one day "earn" their freedom when they "pay back" the money given to them in the form of luxury gifts and the airline ticket and whatever else they can leverage.
> 
> One of the best ways personnel have been successful at stopping human trafficking in their tracks has been to ask potential victims questions like "who bought your plane ticket" and "are you flying with anyone today" and "when are you returning".


Thanks for saying this! I know there had to be something I was missing here since it happened to several of us .I really thought that I was the only one until reading this thread.


----------



## Shopgirl1996

meepabeep said:


> While I was shopping in Goodwill today, a young woman (carrying a really cheap-looking white Chanel knock-off, ironically) bumped into my brand new Coach Chelsea bag. She also gave me a dirty look. About a minute later, in another part of the store, something told me to look at my bag, because it happened to me before with a Coach signature bag. An older woman bumped into the bag and then I found a pink pen mark on it (I don't own a pink pen). Anyway, sure enough, there was a dark mark on the side of my Chelsea, the side she bumped into. I immediately got it off with spit (gross, but hey, I had to act quickly, lol) and my shirt as a "rag". Luckily, the mark came off fairly easily, so I think it was makeup, and not pen this time. Oh, and I noticed her bag was open, so she could easily access what ever she hit my bag with.
> 
> So yeah, I think some people are jealous of others, and stuff like this happens a lot. Keying someone's car is a perfect example.



I'd be more worried that she would have tried to pick pocket you. The bump would be the distraction.


----------



## PurpleRabbit

DaBish said:


> Thanks for saying this! I know there had to be something I was missing here since it happened to several of us .I really thought that I was the only one until reading this thread.



The human trafficking comment make sense for some situation, but the people that I know this happen too were more mature confident women.


----------



## Suburbachic

PurpleRabbit said:


> The human trafficking comment make sense for some situation, but the people that I know this happen too were more mature confident women.


Human trafficking has no face. I guess they just really do it at random. However it is interesting that they do this check and at the same time makes me feel glad they look out for possible victims. If you have seen the show Queen of the South.. it shows different types of women being used to do crimes.


----------



## meepabeep

Shopgirl1996 said:


> I'd be more worried that she would have tried to pick pocket you. The bump would be the distraction.



Actually, that's the first thing that crossed my mind, then I decided to look at the bag because of what happened the last time. That lady was an employee, who is no longer there. Possibly because I called and complained to management when I got home.


----------



## Diva_k3000

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...



I don’t have any particularly flashy premium designer bags, but I have a nice collection.  I have noticed my friends and parents notice my new Coach (my dad actually very noticeably bent over to see what brand it was—we’re lower middle class from the suburbs so Coach is a big deal).

I have a friend that always notices if I have a new bag, which is slightly annoying because I have been constantly buying, selling and trading recently, so it’s quite often I have a bag she has not seen before.  She also seems taken aback whenever I wear my Prada sunglasses and asks me when I got THOSE, acting as if she has never seen them before.  She has done this 3 times now.

I have purposely curated a nice, professional-looking, but not too flashy collection of mostly sub-$200 bags, so as not to attract unwanted attention.  I’m still pretty junior at my job and don’t want to raise eyebrows and get denied raises/promotions because I don’t look like I “need it.”

https://forum.purseblog.com/threads...nd-practical-collection-by-diva_k3000.990749/


----------



## bisousx

I have, over the years, sadly found that many people will be jealous of anything they want that you have, be it a Chanel bag or a happy relationship.

It is a rare trait to not feel jealous over someone else’s wins in life.

Jennifer Stano has a recent quote that I find true: “I have never received a negative comment from a person whose life I wish I had.”


----------



## Saltvinegar

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...


My friend suggested I should do charity work instead of buying bags. Ouch.


----------



## Law

Saltvinegar said:


> My friend suggested I should do charity work instead of buying bags. Ouch.



Wow, ouch! Some really people should keep their opinions to themselves shouldn’t they?!


----------



## serenluv202

I have always been happy and proud to see other women with whatever handbags they could afford, even when I could not afford one.  I have several Gucci bags and I usually get compliments on them.  I have never paid retail price for one...always 20-50% off. Still, I have had people tell me I'm foolish to spend so much on a bag.  I haven't had many problems with strangers.  I usually see people coming and move my bag accordingly.  I'm quite sure I don't come across as someone to play with.  Expensive or not, I will beat a person down...with the bag.


----------



## pureplatinum

Suburbachic said:


> A lot of times DH will tell me who has been googly eyed over my bag when we are out and about. I know he is just especially proud that he is able to support my obsession



Lol! My DH is exactly like this.

Thankfully, I have no direct experience on my purses etc getting ruined by somebody else. I have a sister in law though, who, almost everytime we see each other, either asks or confirms the brand of shoes, jewelry, and bags that I have on and most of the time how much those were - I find this quite uncomfortable.


----------



## Thenewestgirl

Hahha I have not read the answers in this thread, but about the "run over feets"-thing, posted by the OP, this ALWAYS happens to my boyfriend, like every time we are somewhere in public. I don't know if it is because he has long feet or why it's always him that gets run over.

He also gets "bumped into" all the time. I don't get it. He is quite tall so it's not like people doesn't see him. And he certaily doesn't carry anything fancy. The opposit in fact, he always has his 20year old backpack with him wherever he goes (refuses to wear his newer ones), if I did not know for sure that that backpack does not have flees or anything I'd for sure try to stay as far away from him as possible...


----------



## Saltvinegar

Law said:


> Wow, ouch! Some really people should keep their opinions to themselves shouldn’t they?!


They just don’t get it. Charity work and buying nice things for myself is a totally different matter. I’m sure all of us do charity in our own way.


----------



## Dextersmom

Saltvinegar said:


> My friend suggested I should do charity work instead of buying bags. Ouch.


That is very insensitive, imo.  Maybe time to reevaluate that friendship.


----------



## Prufrock613

I had a coworker that tried to “school” me about finances, after seeing different bags on me.  I was in my mid 20’s, working, free of debt, no kids etc.
My finances are no one’s business, but my own.  Had I come to her seeking advice or a loan (which would never happen), then her $0.02 is fine.
I believe that everyone has a passion/vice.  I don’t ridicule someone b/c they endlessly watch reality tv, birdwatch, buy comic books, or collect stamps or watches. To each, their own.

I could suggest a book on manners


----------



## carleykitten

I find people are so open with their judgment on luxury items!! I saved for ages to be able to afford my one Chanel purse. My husband and I have no children, we live in a small home, share a vehicle, and we are both over thirty and in grad school while I work full time to support us (he can't work while he does his phD). We are adults and it's no one else's business how we spend our money! But, people always make comments when they know I like to save for luxury items. 
I make no vocal judgement on them wasting money on food or drinks, or going on trips via credit, or having mortgages they can't afford, or buying an RV that they can't afford, or having two cars when they only need one. The list goes on and on... 
As I explain to people, I would rather own fewer items that are made to last and made ethically, with great care, than to have a closet full of crap that was made at the expense of others across the world.


----------



## MsSmallHands

I never have such experience but my sister did. Some girl was giving her death stares for no reason until my sister realized it was the Chanel bag she was carrying that day....


----------



## AnnZ

I’ve had people get jealous over most of my expensive purchases regardless of the item but pick and choose carefully what I spend my money. Most importantly I can afford my purchase. So sorry Karen if you’re living above your means and can’t seem to understand how I can afford my luxury item.


----------



## CoachCruiser

I’m 41 and nearly halfway to 42. I’ve decided that children, as much as I love them, are not in my future. It’s something that I wince about once in awhile, but not often. I teach high school- and trust me, the care I give (1000%) depletes me enough. I’m psyched to pay for my own bags, my own trips, my own-whatever-I-want, without the guilt of thinking about what I could have bought my children. So yes, I do face resentment- but not from the close friends (w/beautiful children!) who know me well. I find that those who seem to judge me the most are those that make quick judgments about me, without thinking about how hard I work or how the differences in our lives lead to different decisions.


----------



## Mrsfunnyman

Suburbachic said:


> A lot of times DH will tell me who has been googly eyed over my bag when we are out and about. I know he is just especially proud that he is able to support my obsession
> A few weeks ago though when I was at Starbucks carrying my PS mini a girl was giving me the stare down. I kinda felt threatened and would not have been surprised if she grabbed my bag. The look she gave me was something else I have ever encountered



My DH does the same thing lol.


----------



## Tinagirl11

I don't encounter jealousy often, more of appreciation from randoms.  None of my friends like bags anyway, so I don't bore them with my obsession. I did however, make the mistake of showing a new bag to one of my bag-crazy relatives, who I sensed was immediately envious, so I've been careful with her ever since.


----------



## Sunshine mama

Freetofly said:


> I completely understand what you mean!
> I find a couple of times, strangers on the train will deliberately bash your designer bag when they walk past, even though there's plenty of space to get by. I've noticed it happening to other people that carry designer bags too. And it's always been women so far that have done this. It's sad that some women out there are like this.
> *One of my good friends made a snarky comment recently*. I was at a wedding and wearing a Diorama WOC. She came over to examine my bag and asked what brand it was. I told her truthfully and *she rolled her eyes and said "oh going up in the world aren't we*!" and walked off.


Not such a good friend imo.


----------



## legal2shop

Friends and strangers - no. But then I don't pay much attention so even if there have been any negative comments, they didn't have the desired effect on me.

My MOM, however! Oh, the grief I get from her because I like expensive bags! I know she means well and wants to make sure I am financially sound, but it's gotten so bad that I deliberately don't use my more expensive bags when I see her!  

P.S. I think I have matured since and now completely understand where she is coming from. I no longer buy expensive bags, shoes or jewelry and have started investing in real estate which give me rental income. My Mom is wise


----------



## Saltvinegar

Dextersmom said:


> That is very insensitive, imo.  Maybe time to reevaluate that friendship.


I decided to be more selective with what I tell her. Some people just don’t get it.


----------



## Knicole

Saltvinegar said:


> My friend suggested I should do charity work instead of buying bags. Ouch.


Wow! That is so rude...I wonder how much charity work they do? Just because someone has nice things does not mean they don't donate or do charity work....I honestly feel like people with the nice items do the most to make positive changes or help others. Loving yourself is so important.


----------



## Law

I had a very recent experience with a close friend who saw my reissue and asked me if it was a real Chanel because it doesn’t have the logo on it  ‍♀️. Then proceeded to tell me that if she were going to buy a Chanel bag she’d make sure it had the logo on so everyone knew wha it was [emoji849]


----------



## Ceeyahd

Law said:


> I had a very recent experience with a close friend who saw my reissue and asked me if it was a real Chanel because it doesn’t have the logo on it  ‍♀️. Then proceeded to tell me that if she were going to buy a Chanel bag she’d make sure it had the logo on so everyone knew wha it was [emoji849]



Lol. Maybe not jealousy. I had someone in the family tell me the next bag she was going to have her husband gift her was going to be from 'that Birkin brand'. I decided then that I wasn't going to carry anything around her that I had explain. However, I did explain to her Birkin wasn't the brand, and that my BIL, her DH, wasn't going to simply walk into the store and pick one up, along with the price point of the bag. She had no idea. I probably saved her huge awkward moment, as another family member has carried a number of Hermes when getting together and visiting. I'm glad she shared her choice of next bag with me, and not the other person, as that person would have made her feel awkward. Anyway she was just naive about the bag she wanted.


----------



## Law

Ceeyahd said:


> Lol. Maybe not jealousy. I had someone in the family tell me the next bag she was going to have her husband gift her was going to be from 'that Birkin brand'. I decided then that I wasn't going to carry anything around her that I had explain. However, I did explain to her Birkin wasn't the brand, and that my BIL, her DH, wasn't going to simply walk into the store and pick one up, along with the price point of the bag. She had no idea. I probably saved her huge awkward moment, as another family member has carried a number of Hermes when getting together and visiting. I'm glad she shared her choice of next bag with me, and not the other person, as that person would have made her feel awkward. Anyway she was just naive about the bag she wanted.



I know, quite funny anyway and I take no offence, I was just a bit surprised that reissues were not on her radar as she has always said how much she likes Chanel  

Very good that you told her about the B situation! That definitely could have been embarrassing for her if she’d gone into Hermès, I’ve got second hand embarrassment just thinking about it.


----------



## Luv n bags

How about just jealous.  About everything.  Your life, your looks, your job, the things you buy, the people you date.  Jealousy is jealousy.  It’s terrible that people live theirs lives undermining other people, trying to feel better about their sad lives.


----------



## MsGlam

I can’t say specifically whether anyone has ever tried to ruin my bags, but I’ve definitely had people leave snarky comments on my purses/jewelry/watches. 

When I travel back to my home town, I often get a lot of comments on my accessories and am always told how much money I’m wasting on them and how they are not worth it! I don’t believe these comments one bit as my accessories are of value to me, personally. 

I do think that people who pass these comments are (maybe?) jealous. However, I don’t want to just assume, but I really don’t see any reason to pass rude comments about others personal belongings and If someone does say something, I do think it’s because they somewhat care and it bothers them in some way.


----------



## madamefifi

Nancy in VA said:


> Balenciaga is my bag  - and I do not hang out in monied circles so most of them do not know my bag is expensive - so no jealousy - but - if I am going to a very upscale store or restaurant they seem to treat me better after they see my bag.
> 
> PS - My husband does not even know what a Bal is or how much it cost - in fact - he has no idea how expensive any brand can be



You are my people. I love everything about Balenciaga 
—the colors, the squishy leathers, the smooshy nonstructure—so my Bal cities are my go-to bags, in a world of Coach and Michael Kors and folks who probably can’t even pronounce Balenciaga. And I am OK with that! I don’t need people to be “jealous” or to even have a clue what kind of bag I’m carrying, I get so much personal joy from them.


----------



## shazzy quijano

lovecouture said:


> I have had a woman who goes to my gym walk up to me and ask me how I afford all my purses. I said: “I work”.
> 
> I’ve had a co-worker make a comment about my jewelry in front of other women, she said: OMG those are the Gucci bamboo bracelets I just saw in a magazine, they cost like 4000$ each! I shrugged my shoulders and said they were fake.
> 
> I’ve had my husband’s male friend comment that he worries about our finances because his wife was carrying an Aldo bag and I was carrying a 3000$ Chanel bag, I told him it was a 7000$ Chanel bag and that our finances are none of his business.
> 
> Years ago my sister in law made a comment saying that I should sell my designer bags to pay for my upcoming wedding to her brother…My husband and I no longer have a relationship with his sister.
> 
> Long story short, there will always be jealous people. These people may be triggered by a bag, piece of jewelry, your tight and toned behind, great hair, or whatever else they see.



Slay! I love the part where you corrected: “It’s a  7000$ Chanel” Haha. I’d do the same!


----------



## halfviet87

PurpleRabbit said:


> Did you do a reveal of your new baby?   I'm nosey i want to see your new beauty


----------



## ArabellaN

Chez52 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I just wanted to ask whether you have experienced any jealousy from other people if they see you have expensive things?
> 
> I have had someone run over my foot with their luggage at the subway. It just so happened that I had just been shopping at Louboutin and Chanel and was carrying large boutique bags.
> 
> I have also coincidentally had a work colleague spill a drink on my lambskin classic flap which had been sat right next to me and you’d probably have to be aiming for it realistically.
> 
> Maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel unfortunately many women get quite jealous if they see another women who has more than them. It’s such a shame as I know personally I never show off nor do i judge others if they don’t  percentage calculator have the things I do in any way.
> 
> I know I am very blessed to be where I am today. dad jokes I enjoy my nice things and an fortunate enough to be able to afford them. I am quite surprised though at the reactions it can bring out in other people though.
> 
> Would love to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences...



While people (and when I say people I mean woman) tend to look at you if you are nicely / fashionably dressed, I have noticed lately a lot of attention to my Lady Dior bag


----------



## Lilleput

Yes, I had one lady in airport come up to me and complemented the bag. I was using my black mini. But no one has actually bumped into me intentionally or spilled stuff on it, so I suppose I have been lucky so far . I have to also agree with others here that the coworker spilling drink on your bag sounds a bit intentional?

I have noticed though that my designer bags gets more noticed when I am in Asia than when I am in the west. Makes me more self-conscious when I am in an asian country to be honest. For reference, I am Asian so maybe I am just paranoid.


----------



## Grande Latte

You need to show discretion on where you wear your expensive items. I always dress for the occasion- up or down or somewhere in between. People react strongly to visuals (even though most hate to admit it). You set in your mind what image you want to portray (high fashion, modest, sporty, conservative,...etc.) and people eat it up.

You can really play with people's psychology through fashion believe it or not.


----------



## einertia

I very often get the « this has to be fake » look when I’m dressed like « a potato » as I say (ugg boots, not my best jeans, mom bun, etc). I really don’t care as I know 99% of people passing my way don’t know right from wrong when it comes to Chanel bags (I live in a small French town). 

I do get the innocent “omg is this real” from teenagers/young adults which I think is cute as I used to be just like them.

And when I’m in Paris, no jealousy because there are many luxury bags everywhere.

I don’t mind jealousy. Whoever will be hypocritical enough to say they don’t like the look of Chanel bags or something along those lines clearly say that because they can’t afford them anyway.


----------



## RavenMontana

KittyKat65 said:


> No



I love your reply.  I guess some people think very highly of themselves because of what they own, I don’t so maybe that’s why I don’t assume anyone is jealous of me or what I own.


----------



## RavenMontana

I never had that problem but then again I don’t care or notice.  

If I see someone staring I think it’s because I have toilet paper stuck on my shoe or some other nonsense.

I don’t assume it’s cause they’re staring at my Chanel bag and they’re jealous or they’re staring at me cause they’re racist and they hate short Hispanic women like me.


----------



## snowing may

I own a few Chanel bags but I still stare at ppl’s CC bag whenever I see someone wearing it in public, purely because I am just admiring the bag. 

One day I was shopping in a furniture store and I saw a lady wearing a very rare CC bag that immediately stole my attention from looking at the furniture   I even casually followed her for about 30 seconds to get a good look at the bag ( Sorry if this sounds weird).

what I am trying to say is I would not be jealousy of other ppl’s CC bags when I am staring at the bags. I just simply appreciate this brand and admire the bags.


----------



## snowing may

RavenMontana said:


> I never had that problem but then again I don’t care or notice.
> 
> If I see someone staring I think it’s because I have toilet paper stuck on my shoe or some other nonsense.
> 
> I don’t assume it’s cause they’re staring at my Chanel bag and they’re jealous or they’re staring at me cause they’re racist and they hate short Hispanic women like me.


+1!


----------



## Antigone

snowing may said:


> +1!



+ 2! 

To be honest, I think the general public doesn't give a crap what bag other people carry.


----------



## 2cello

I’m a bag person so I sometimes stare at Chanel bags - to try and guess if they are real or fake.   Or caviar or lambskin if I am at a distance.  Or just to admire them.  

Before I was a bag person, I never looked at anyone’s bag.  

One of my co- workers carries this rocking black patent hobo.  I stared at that thing anytime I saw it trying to guess what bag it was.  Finally figured it out - Gucci hysteria.


----------



## Abba13

I like to believe most who look are looking because they like what they see and not jealous.   Took my pup to be groomed.  The young man behind the counter asked, "Is that a Chanel?"  Yes.  "May I look inside?"  Sure.  We had the best conversation about bags.  He was as big of an addict as I.  He had photos of his collection on his phone.  We were like two kids comparing dolls.....it was loads of fun!


----------



## LemonDrop

I have only had one person that was openly jealous about my bags. A co worker. We were working a shift together for the first time. We talked for hours while we worked.  I told her (what I thought) was a humorous story that happened to take place in a Louis Vuitton boutique. She seemed a bit taken a back that I was shopping in designer boutiques. As we were parting ways at the end of our shift, she was jostling her work bags.  A roll of toilet paper rolled out. She says "look at me stealing toilet paper for my kids while you shop in boutiques".  it was really hateful and uncomfortable.

If I ever work with her again I will tell her not to worry. I no longer shop at Louis Vuitton. I have become much more reasonable.


----------



## xo.babydoll

I feel like anyone who cares enough to know about Chanel (or handbags in general) would likely admire rather than be openly envious of your bag.

To assume these “incidents” happened simply because you were carrying a handbag is unfortunate. Don’t let your possessions define you.


----------



## Spongebaby

xo.babydoll said:


> I feel like anyone who cares enough to know about Chanel (or handbags in general) would likely admire rather than be openly envious of your bag.
> 
> To assume these “incidents” happened simply because you were carrying a handbag is unfortunate. Don’t let your possessions define you.


Gold ✨


----------



## ChanelCelineLaurentLover

I’ve had a friend make comments like “why would you spend so much in a bag, that’s totally unnecessary” and act very judgmental. Not sure if it’s jealousy but the intent was to put me down. I try to not display my bags on social media or talk about them even though I’m a tad obsessed. I come on here instead of talking to my friends about it since I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to brag even if I’m so excited about a new purchase. I only have a couple of friends that are super into bags etc.


----------



## Rockysmom

Only my one gay guy friend notices my things and sometimes I think he’s adding up what I’ve spent in his mind. Other than that no one really comments on my luxuries


----------



## Abba13

ChanelCelineLaurentLover said:


> I’ve had a friend make comments like “why would you spend so much in a bag, that’s totally unnecessary” and act very judgmental. Not sure if it’s jealousy but the intent was to put me down. I try to not display my bags on social media or talk about them even though I’m a tad obsessed. I come on here instead of talking to my friends about it since I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to brag even if I’m so excited about a new purchase. I only have a couple of friends that are super into bags etc.


My friends think I'm nuts but in a good way.  They know I have an addiction problem and crack up when they see my latest.  I've hit the age where kids are raised, colleges paid for, houses paid for, don't need furniture/appliances/cars/etc., so I look for myself and am having a wonderful time.  My friends know it and get a kick out of it.  They have their likes which aren't mine and mine aren't theirs but loads of fun to compare as we sip our wine and discuss our latest ailments....which we also laugh about because we're still here!


----------



## BeaYork

I’ve had people at my previous jobs make catty comments behind my back about my shopping, so I made sure to befriend those that appreciate stuff the same way and try to never come off as too braggy about my stuff. 
I try to remind myself that not everyone loves bags and shoes as much as I do, but also not let it stifle my passion and enthusiasm. At least people where I work now appreciate my excitement even if it’s not their thing.


----------



## MelisaGunawan

My hubby's friend at office, for so many times ask about my chanel & gucci bags to my hubby..to know if they're real or fake. When my hubby doesn't answer, she says about how I waste money and she won't buy like me.
And because my hubby want to build "down-to-earth and anti hedonism"  family image ..finally he always try to convince her that my bags are fake! 

After that, she looks satisfied and said to my hubby:
" Oh I know it, actually when I saw Melisa wore gucci at first time, I wanted to say to her: please don't wear it anymore because it's so fake..people will know ! But I confuse how to tell Melisa. Maybe another time I'll ask about the price"

She's 12years older than me. And I bought my bags with my own money, before I get married. I think she's just jealous how young girl affords these all


----------



## English1221

MelisaGunawan said:


> My hubby's friend at office, for so many times ask about my chanel & gucci bags to my hubby..to know if they're real or fake. When my hubby doesn't answer, she says about how I waste money and she won't buy like me.
> And because my hubby want to build "down-to-earth and anti hedonism"  family image ..finally he always try to convince her that my bags are fake!
> 
> After that, she looks satisfied and said to my hubby:
> " Oh I know it, actually when I saw Melisa wore gucci at first time, I wanted to say to her: please don't wear it anymore because it's so fake..people will know ! But I confuse how to tell Melisa. Maybe another time I'll ask about the price"
> 
> She's 12years older than me. And I bought my bags with my own money, before I get married. I think she's just jealous how young girl affords these all


What a bitter woman she is! Don’t let her affect you life.


----------



## Sferics

MelisaGunawan said:


> My hubby's friend at office, for so many times ask about my chanel & gucci bags to my hubby..to know if they're real or fake. When my hubby doesn't answer, she says about how I waste money and she won't buy like me.
> And because my hubby want to build "down-to-earth and anti hedonism"  family image ..finally he always try to convince her that my bags are fake!
> 
> After that, she looks satisfied and said to my hubby:
> " Oh I know it, actually when I saw Melisa wore gucci at first time, I wanted to say to her: please don't wear it anymore because it's so fake..people will know ! But I confuse how to tell Melisa. Maybe another time I'll ask about the price"
> 
> She's 12years older than me. And I bought my bags with my own money, before I get married. I think she's just jealous how young girl affords these all



Is it ok for you your hubby tells her your bags are fake? 
I don't know if I would like this...


----------



## Kuschelnudde

Never, but I‘m very oblivious when it comes to my surroundings.
Sometimes I notice people staring at them but I guess that‘s more because I‘m a guy wearing Chanel bags. I had an old rich lady in the train staring at me up and down, down and up, scanning me from top to bottom multiple times. It was hard not to start laughing. I‘ve also received some compliments. Or indifference. Both is fine


----------



## Sferics

There is one of my friends who is a little bit...hmmm.
We make ca. the same amount of money and I guess we spend about the same amount on unnecessary "things".
The problem: In the same time she buys five new bags for 200,- each and I buy one vintage/newtome for 1k, she gets jealous and keeps asking why and how I spend so much and in the same conversation how I yet again did manage to get the bag xy for this good price.
She pants with rage if s.o. compliments my bags.
She was even piqued when I bought a vintage burberry trench coat or a vintage givenchy jacket for 60,- - she easily could find the same things online. I don't get it.
She also is clearly the person when you meet her and she doesn't say anything you know you look very good that day


----------



## Kuschelnudde

Sferics said:


> There is one of my friends who is a little bit...hmmm.
> We make ca. the same amount of money and I guess we spend about the same amount on unnecessary "things".
> The problem: In the same time she buys five new bags for 200,- each and I buy one vintage/newtome for 1k, she gets jealous and keeps asking why and how I spend so much and in the same conversation how I yet again did manage to get the bag xy for this good price.
> She pants with rage if s.o. compliments my bags.
> She was even piqued when I bought a vintage burberry trench coat or a vintage givenchy jacket for 60,- - she easily could find the same things online. I don't get it.
> She also is clearly the person when you meet her and she doesn't say anything you know you look very good that day



Time to get new friends.


----------



## Sferics

Kuschelnudde said:


> Time to get new friends.


Honestly I was thinking about this but it is not easy if you know s.o. 20 years and they have also very positve aspects...I wish sometimes the world would be like a hollywood film: Black and white.


----------



## Kuschelnudde

Sferics said:


> Honestly I was thinking about this but it is not easy if you know s.o. 20 years and they have also very positve aspects...I wish sometimes the world would be like a hollywood film: Black and white.



You obviously know her better but to me things like that would be a red flag. There is something rubbing her the wrong way about your purchases/compliments and she seems to project this uncertainty on you. And at the end of the day, it‘s just a bag.


----------



## Sferics

Kuschelnudde said:


> You obviously know her better but to me things like that would be a red flag. There is something rubbing her the wrong way about your purchases/compliments and she seems to project this uncertainty on you. And at the end of the day, it‘s just a bag.


There is a balance pan in my head and I know it is right before tilting...time will tell but I kinda know this will end.


----------



## angersauce

No one gets jealous of my bags.  I always joke about one of my friends who is so rich that I've seen her throw her white lambskin classic flap onto the grass/dirt.  If I had that bag I would be like those old people who cover their couch with plastic so it doesn't get dirty when you sit on it.


----------



## ladyd14

One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.


----------



## Cat.A

ladyd14 said:


> One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.



I don’t think you have to fell guilty for what you own, it’s not your fault if you have nice items and you enjoy them. I don’t like this kinda of negative people that want to underline, in a bad way, how lucky you are compared to them. In my opinion, it’s rude!
Why don’t you ask to your friends how would they fell if someone says them the things they’re saying to you? Some people can’t afford even the food, while your friend is complaining about the bus ticket.


----------



## Joelene

LemonDrop said:


> I have only had one person that was openly jealous about my bags. A co worker. We were working a shift together for the first time. We talked for hours while we worked.  I told her (what I thought) was a humorous story that happened to take place in a Louis Vuitton boutique. She seemed a bit taken a back that I was shopping in designer boutiques. As we were parting ways at the end of our shift, she was jostling her work bags.  A roll of toilet paper rolled out. She says "look at me stealing toilet paper for my kids while you shop in boutiques".  it was really hateful and uncomfortable.
> 
> If I ever work with her again I will tell her not to worry. I no longer shop at Louis Vuitton. I have become much more reasonable.


I would definitely feel uncomfortable if someone said that to me. I just don’t get why some people feel the need to be jealous or show hate towards other people that choose to spend their money differently, or are more financially well off.


----------



## Joelene

ladyd14 said:


> One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.


I feel like people who make these kinds of comments don’t realize how hard most people work and budget for luxury goods. Don’t pay them any mind, wear your bracelets proudly.


----------



## Uptown Luxer

I do feel people are jealous. Not the majority but there are some women who get very competitive.  I remember having a co-worker who needed to come straight to me to show me her new jewelry and handbag every time she bought something new. It was insane!!!!!  I had never experienced anything like that. I hate competing.  I just want to mind my business and enjoy my bags.  It got to a point that I was hiding some of my handbags under my desk so she wouldn’t see it.  Crazy


----------



## lovieluvslux

I feel people are saying..'' silly you paying so much for that bag".  People in my field walk around in company logo t-shirts,  jeans and using all money for housing and food.


----------



## ChanelCanuck

ladyd14 said:


> One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.





Cat.A said:


> I don’t think you have to fell guilty for what you own, it’s not your fault if you have nice items and you enjoy them. I don’t like this kinda of negative people that want to underline, in a bad way, how lucky you are compared to them. In my opinion, it’s rude!
> Why don’t you ask to your friends how would they fell if someone says them the things they’re saying to you? Some people can’t afford even the food, while your friend is complaining about the bus ticket.



I agree! I've definitely had friends who have judged how I spend my money, or been resentful of my ability to spend on such frivolous things as bags.  I've dealt with catty comments or looks, "friends" or family members who just don't like others to be happy or thrive around them.

But...somehow I think maybe I'd change my behavior if I was called out on it for the reason/the way @ladyd14 was.  Not like it's our responsibility to hide or feel guilty about what we own, but if a friend told me that me carrying expensive bags and driving an expensive car around her made her feel badly when she can't afford bus fare, I may try downplay my luxury items.

I've got a new friend who I became close to quickly over the past year.  She's always been supportive of my career and my lifestyle (a single, young professional), while she's a young mom and wife, she and her husband are as kind and generous as they can be, but make a combined household income in the mid-five digits in an expensive city, and can't afford luxury goods so easily.  They live paycheck to paycheck, try to squirrel away some savings, but live a relatively modest lifestyle due to circumstance. (They moved to this new city to get out of the even more expensive city we both lived in.)

I visited her in her new city last year and asked her to take me to Chanel and Vuitton (her province doesn't charge sales tax so it would have been considerable savings to buy there).  I didn't realize it was her first time stepping foot in a luxury store.  When she saw the price tags, her face turned red with sticker shock, and she was agog when she discovered the cost of the bag I was wearing.  I had the SA at Chanel pull out a tray of SLGs and asked my friend to - surprise! - pick one for her birthday present, thinking maybe this would make her embrace the experience more, and she spluttered and had so much anxiety over me insisting on this present, she begged us to leave the store empty handed.  She mumbled to me later that it was just too much, _too much_, and she felt ashamed that her cheap worn-out purse and the designer wallet she had proudly sported (MK), was nothing compared to this type of buying.  She said it was impossible for her to afford luxury goods when she's on maternity leave, has a kid, a home, responsibilities, had just moved to this city to save money, etc. but supported me buying whatever I like.  I felt like she was embarrassed to not have the same means, and had to justify why she couldn't spend as extravagantly when she otherwise would have liked to.  She was so kind when explaining herself, but I felt like **** that I'd made her feel like she had to.  My bags are a way to express my personality, and sure, there may be a status element to owning them (if we're being totally honest with ourselves), but I wouldn't want them to make a sweet, kind friend feel like she hadn't lived up to some imaginary standard.

So now I think I'm a bit more aware of what bags I wear in front of which people.  I don't worry about catty comments or jealousy, but I wouldn't want to flaunt my perceived "wealth" in front of someone who works just as hard as I do and wants the same things I have but was just dealt a different hand in life.


----------



## Gabs007

ChanelCanuck said:


> I agree! I've definitely had friends who have judged how I spend my money, or been resentful of my ability to spend on such frivolous things as bags.  I've dealt with catty comments or looks, "friends" or family members who just don't like others to be happy or thrive around them.
> 
> But...somehow I think maybe I'd change my behavior if I was called out on it for the reason/the way @ladyd14 was.  Not like it's our responsibility to hide or feel guilty about what we own, but if a friend told me that me carrying expensive bags and driving an expensive car around her made her feel badly when she can't afford bus fare, I may try downplay my luxury items.
> 
> I've got a new friend who I became close to quickly over the past year.  She's always been supportive of my career and my lifestyle (a single, young professional), while she's a young mom and wife, she and her husband are as kind and generous as they can be, but make a combined household income in the mid-five digits in an expensive city, and can't afford luxury goods so easily.  They live paycheck to paycheck, try to squirrel away some savings, but live a relatively modest lifestyle due to circumstance. (They moved to this new city to get out of the even more expensive city we both lived in.)
> 
> I visited her in her new city last year and asked her to take me to Chanel and Vuitton (her province doesn't charge sales tax so it would have been considerable savings to buy there).  I didn't realize it was her first time stepping foot in a luxury store.  When she saw the price tags, her face turned red with sticker shock, and she was agog when she discovered the cost of the bag I was wearing.  I had the SA at Chanel pull out a tray of SLGs and asked my friend to - surprise! - pick one for her birthday present, thinking maybe this would make her embrace the experience more, and she spluttered and had so much anxiety over me insisting on this present, she begged us to leave the store empty handed.  She mumbled to me later that it was just too much, _too much_, and she felt ashamed that her cheap worn-out purse and the designer wallet she had proudly sported (MK), was nothing compared to this type of buying.  She said it was impossible for her to afford luxury goods when she's on maternity leave, has a kid, a home, responsibilities, had just moved to this city to save money, etc. but supported me buying whatever I like.  I felt like she was embarrassed to not have the same means, and had to justify why she couldn't spend as extravagantly when she otherwise would have liked to.  She was so kind when explaining herself, but I felt like **** that I'd made her feel like she had to.  My bags are a way to express my personality, and sure, there may be a status element to owning them (if we're being totally honest with ourselves), but I wouldn't want them to make a sweet, kind friend feel like she hadn't lived up to some imaginary standard.
> 
> So now I think I'm a bit more aware of what bags I wear in front of which people.  I don't worry about catty comments or jealousy, but I wouldn't want to flaunt my perceived "wealth" in front of someone who works just as hard as I do and wants the same things I have but was just dealt a different hand in life.



I had a pretty similar situation, I am friends with a few very sweet elderly ladies, one of my previous dogs found one of them during a walk, unconscious, so I called an ambulance as I wasn't sure if it might not be a diabetic shock, luckily it was just low BP, she thanked me and asked if she could give doggie a bone, we visited, met the "Golden Girls" and I was pretty shocked how harsh life is for women on a state pension. I sometimes bring them stuff with excuses, like I made too much, the supermarket had amazing reductions because I noticed how difficult life is for them. So one Xmas a few years ago, I wanted to take them out to a nice restaurant as a special treat, they were shocked, hardly ordered anything as they considered the prices frivolous and didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I felt really bad, almost as if I rubbed their nose in, which wasn't my intention. You can mean well and put your foot in....

Now I'm using a different approach, I get them hampers, sometimes the hampers we get as thank you from other businesses, sometimes I just make one and claim we got it but with my gluten intolerance.... Would be a shame to let it go to waste.... Ask them to dogsit and insist on paying them. They are a bunch of really sweet dears, last thing I want to do is make them uncomfortable. If certain things are normal for you, like purses or restaurants, it is easy to forget that due to a knack we are lucky to earn as well as we do and others struggle.


----------



## ChanelCanuck

Gabs007 said:


> I had a pretty similar situation, I am friends with a few very sweet elderly ladies, one of my previous dogs found one of them during a walk, unconscious, so I called an ambulance as I wasn't sure if it might not be a diabetic shock, luckily it was just low BP, she thanked me and asked if she could give doggie a bone, we visited, met the "Golden Girls" and I was pretty shocked how harsh life is for women on a state pension. I sometimes bring them stuff with excuses, like I made too much, the supermarket had amazing reductions because I noticed how difficult life is for them. So one Xmas a few years ago, I wanted to take them out to a nice restaurant as a special treat, they were shocked, hardly ordered anything as they considered the prices frivolous and didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I felt really bad, almost as if I rubbed their nose in, which wasn't my intention. You can mean well and put your foot in....
> 
> Now I'm using a different approach, I get them hampers, sometimes the hampers we get as thank you from other businesses, sometimes I just make one and claim we got it but with my gluten intolerance.... Would be a shame to let it go to waste.... Ask them to dogsit and insist on paying them. They are a bunch of really sweet dears, last thing I want to do is make them uncomfortable. If certain things are normal for you, like purses or restaurants, it is easy to forget that due to a knack we are lucky to earn as well as we do and others struggle.



That's really lovely, and a good idea to sort of "non"-gift them some things to help them out!  Then it doesn't come across like a charity case, because no one wants to feel that way, and they still get to benefit without shame or guilt!


----------



## Gabs007

ChanelCanuck said:


> That's really lovely, and a good idea to sort of "non"-gift them some things to help them out!  Then it doesn't come across like a charity case, because no one wants to feel that way, and they still get to benefit without shame or guilt!



Exactly, because somebody doesn't have funds or their life was totally different (they are at an age where it was normal for women to stay at home when the kids were small or the husband didn't want the wife to work, which bites them with the pensions) doesn't mean that they should feel like a charity chase.

I'm not a great MK fan, but in all honesty, I think if you want to give your friend a bday present, maybe one of their bags, she would get so much more use and enjoyment out of it, a Chanel she wouldn't dare to wear and it would always make her feel uncomfy. I know Edith (my original GG) would have fainted if she knew that I ordered her a cashmere sweater and fingerless gloves from Harrods, I couldn't do Marks & Spencer because she knows the shop and sometimes goes in but considers it far too posh and expensive (different world), so I removed all the tags and pretended to have found it in a charity shop. She totally loves it and claims it feels almost as good as Harvey's coat (my current rescue Dobie).


----------



## Gabs007

ladyd14 said:


> One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.



I totally get it from both sides, but you carrying a cheap bag and taking the bus to work would make her life better exactly how? Would that enable her magically to afford the bus fair for her children? As for hiding your bracelets, I would say if you work in a job where you regularly deal with people suffering badly (a social worker or such) maybe the bracelets are too much, but Cartier doesn't commission a neon arrow over your head, blinking and pointing at you with "Wears 2 Cartier bracelets" - for most people it will be just 2 nice bracelets.

I think most people really don't know what items cost, I fell in love with the Acne Harris Tweet coat, a bit oversized and deconstructed and (in retrospect) overpriced, somebody who in the past had made snide comments about me changing shoes all the time, commented on that my shoe buying apparently wouldn't let me buy a proper coat, that this one looks a bit ratty.... It was meant to make me feel bad, I laughed and said "Yes, charity shop" (not true but ffs, why give her the pleasure to wind me up)


----------



## shijay

ChanelCanuck said:


> I agree! I've definitely had friends who have judged how I spend my money, or been resentful of my ability to spend on such frivolous things as bags.  I've dealt with catty comments or looks, "friends" or family members who just don't like others to be happy or thrive around them.
> 
> But...somehow I think maybe I'd change my behavior if I was called out on it for the reason/the way @ladyd14 was.  Not like it's our responsibility to hide or feel guilty about what we own, but if a friend told me that me carrying expensive bags and driving an expensive car around her made her feel badly when she can't afford bus fare, I may try downplay my luxury items.
> 
> I've got a new friend who I became close to quickly over the past year.  She's always been supportive of my career and my lifestyle (a single, young professional), while she's a young mom and wife, she and her husband are as kind and generous as they can be, but make a combined household income in the mid-five digits in an expensive city, and can't afford luxury goods so easily.  They live paycheck to paycheck, try to squirrel away some savings, but live a relatively modest lifestyle due to circumstance. (They moved to this new city to get out of the even more expensive city we both lived in.)
> 
> I visited her in her new city last year and asked her to take me to Chanel and Vuitton (her province doesn't charge sales tax so it would have been considerable savings to buy there).  I didn't realize it was her first time stepping foot in a luxury store.  When she saw the price tags, her face turned red with sticker shock, and she was agog when she discovered the cost of the bag I was wearing.  I had the SA at Chanel pull out a tray of SLGs and asked my friend to - surprise! - pick one for her birthday present, thinking maybe this would make her embrace the experience more, and she spluttered and had so much anxiety over me insisting on this present, she begged us to leave the store empty handed.  She mumbled to me later that it was just too much, _too much_, and she felt ashamed that her cheap worn-out purse and the designer wallet she had proudly sported (MK), was nothing compared to this type of buying.  She said it was impossible for her to afford luxury goods when she's on maternity leave, has a kid, a home, responsibilities, had just moved to this city to save money, etc. but supported me buying whatever I like.  I felt like she was embarrassed to not have the same means, and had to justify why she couldn't spend as extravagantly when she otherwise would have liked to.  She was so kind when explaining herself, but I felt like **** that I'd made her feel like she had to.  My bags are a way to express my personality, and sure, there may be a status element to owning them (if we're being totally honest with ourselves), but I wouldn't want them to make a sweet, kind friend feel like she hadn't lived up to some imaginary standard.
> 
> So now I think I'm a bit more aware of what bags I wear in front of which people.  I don't worry about catty comments or jealousy, but I wouldn't want to flaunt my perceived "wealth" in front of someone who works just as hard as I do and wants the same things I have but was just dealt a different hand in life.



Thanks for sharing your story! You are a good writer, I could feel everything you said.  I only got into luxury recently once I started working but I remember when my younger sister first bought a chanel bag a few years ago I was flabbergasted as if anyone could spend that money on a purse.  I have always loved bags but 400$ for a marc jacobs bag was a LOT when i was a student for a long time and I hadn't ever even thought of chanel. I saw them on celebrities and liked the boy bag but never would I think of buying one.  I think sometimes when you get into the luxury world it all just seems so normal.  But if you step out of it, for most people the idea of even going into these shops or spending 4 digits on a bag is SO out of normal.  I always thought it was "only for celebrities" until my sister normalized it, and then, it was history haha. Now my mom is into it too.  Its almost like a switch!   I am very aware of what bags I wear and when, not to "hide" it, but I don't want to make anyone feel bad for exactly the same reasons you said.  Luckily most of my friends either don't notice or have a "you do you" attitude which I appreciate.


----------



## ChanelCanuck

shijay said:


> Thanks for sharing your story! You are a good writer, I could feel everything you said.  I only got into luxury recently once I started working but I remember when my younger sister first bought a chanel bag a few years ago I was flabbergasted as if anyone could spend that money on a purse.  I have always loved bags but 400$ for a marc jacobs bag was a LOT when i was a student for a long time and I hadn't ever even thought of chanel. I saw them on celebrities and liked the boy bag but never would I think of buying one.  I think sometimes when you get into the luxury world it all just seems so normal.  But if you step out of it, for most people the idea of even going into these shops or spending 4 digits on a bag is SO out of normal.  I always thought it was "only for celebrities" until my sister normalized it, and then, it was history haha. Now my mom is into it too.  Its almost like a switch!   I am very aware of what bags I wear and when, not to "hide" it, but I don't want to make anyone feel bad for exactly the same reasons you said.  Luckily most of my friends either don't notice or have a "you do you" attitude which I appreciate.



Thank you! I totally feel you on the Marc Jacobs bag.  Once I felt I was ready to “graduate” from Nine West in college, Coach and MJ became my aspiration brands. To this day, even though I don’t use it, I can’t bear to part with my Coach (outlet) wristlet from back then. It was my first “luxury” purchase and I remember the sense of pride and accomplishment I felt buying it.


----------



## Gabs007

ChanelCanuck said:


> Thank you! I totally feel you on the Marc Jacobs bag.  Once I felt I was ready to “graduate” from Nine West in college, Coach and MJ became my aspiration brands. To this day, even though I don’t use it, I can’t bear to part with my Coach (outlet) wristlet from back then. It was my first “luxury” purchase and I remember the sense of pride and accomplishment I felt buying it.



I had my 1st Prada wallet for ages and loved it, when I was pick pocketed and they stole it with all my cards and a bunch of cash, I was crying, I was less upset about the money but THAT wallet...


----------



## ChanelCanuck

Gabs007 said:


> I had my 1st Prada wallet for ages and loved it, when I was pick pocketed and they stole it with all my cards and a bunch of cash, I was crying, I was less upset about the money but THAT wallet...



I would react the same way!!


----------



## opensesame

I don’t think anyone has ever been jealous of my designer handbags. Probably because I am the least financially successful amongst my friends and they all carry Birkins. However, I did witness a manager getting upset over his subordinate’s fancy car, so be careful! That kid was being grilled during a meeting.


----------



## Sferics

opensesame said:


> That kid was being grilled during a meeting.


That manager has no good character.


----------



## Bijans

I do find some people jealous of my bags .. not just Chanel because I only have a couple but even LV/Givenchy ect .. I don’t know why but sometime people make comments like is that new .. or you get another new bag .. They also ask how much did that cost Like in a mean way I just tell them I don’t remember i don’t ever tell prices anyway and I find it completely rude for someone to ask prices .. comments like I was going to buy a new bag but there is nothing new I like .. or those bags or so expensive I would never pay so much for a bag ! It is what it is .. and I’m about to buy another Chanel so I guess they can just swallow their words again . Hahah I don’t get bumped or not yet !


----------



## Gabs007

Bijans said:


> I do find some people jealous of my bags .. not just Chanel because I only have a couple but even LV/Givenchy ect .. I don’t know why but sometime people make comments like is that new .. or you get a new bag a lot They also ask how much did that cost Like in a mean way I just tell them I don’t remember i don’t ever tell prices anyway and I find it completely rude for someone to ask and say if those bags or so expensive I would never pay so much for a bag ! It is what it is .. and I’m about to buy another Chanel so I guess they can just swallow their words again . Hahah



I don't mind asking or being asked by somebody who is thinking about buying a bag and just wants to know, but if it is for then making a snide remark? Errr, nope


----------



## Cat.A

Nobody is jealous of me carrying nice bags because I’m pretty careful in wearing them in the right place. I absolutely don’t carry expensive bags to go to work for many reasons: taking care of my items, it could be too flashy even if I think that who isn’t into luxury brands would not be able to guess the real price. 
Anyway, I suppose people is more judging than jealous: I know very rich women, much more than me, that are not interested in bags and pretend to be shocked by the price of a LV item, while they spend a bunch, I mean a bunch in decorating or super expensive holidays.


----------



## Grande Latte




----------



## Christofle

Grande Latte said:


> View attachment 4637776



Something about this has always been a bit off putting to me. It implies that clothes make the person in a way.

 While I was staying at a Ritz Carlton in California, I asked the concierge for directions to a particular store on Rodeo Dr and he gave us “the up and down look” and said “you know that’s expensive right?”.

People should be treated fairly regardless of how they are dressed.


----------



## Gabs007

Christofle said:


> Something about this has always been a bit off putting to me. It implies that clothes make the person in a way.
> 
> While I was staying at a Ritz Carlton in California, I asked the concierge for directions to a particular store on Rodeo Dr and he gave us “the up and down look” and said “you know that’s expensive right?”.
> 
> People should be treated fairly regardless of how they are dressed.



If you were staying at the one in LA, I would just have quipped back "Yes, a bit like this hotel"


----------



## Christofle

Gabs007 said:


> If you were staying at the one in LA, I would just have quipped back "Yes, a bit like this hotel"



I didn’t have any response because his comment really threw me off because everyone else had been so friendly at the hotel thus far.

The one in Laguna Niguel! The views of the ocean were stunning, it was best 3 week vacation I’ve had. Plus they refreshed our suite with orchid bouquets once a week.


----------



## Shorty2cute

Sferics said:


> There is a balance pan in my head and I know it is right before tilting...time will tell but I kinda know this will end.


I know exactly how you feel. I had a friend. I didnt consider a friend just like that. She called me her Best friend. I had to take a 2020 break on her. If she isnt copying my bags (lower brand, 3 digit brands) she is makes slick comments about my 4 digit brands (Chanel).  Says Chanel is a racists I would never buy her, or will never compliments my bags. Yet! I have caught her looking to purchase the same bag! And failed,  I guess was out her price range.  Muhahaha


----------



## Gabs007

Christofle said:


> I didn’t have any response because his comment really threw me off because everyone else had been so friendly at the hotel thus far.
> 
> The one in Laguna Niguel! The views of the ocean were stunning, it was best 3 week vacation I’ve had. Plus they refreshed our suite with orchid bouquets once a week.



I'm quite fond of the Carlton Ritz chain, they tend to have really good hotels but certainly not cheap, so the guy making that comment to a guest was really out of order. He could have phrased it a bit friendlier with "Hope you are prepared for Rodeo Drive prices" or something like that, but hardly anybody would want to go there shopping and expecting bargain prices.


----------



## Abba13

Sferics said:


> There is one of my friends who is a little bit...hmmm.
> We make ca. the same amount of money and I guess we spend about the same amount on unnecessary "things".
> The problem: In the same time she buys five new bags for 200,- each and I buy one vintage/newtome for 1k, she gets jealous and keeps asking why and how I spend so much and in the same conversation how I yet again did manage to get the bag xy for this good price.
> She pants with rage if s.o. compliments my bags.
> She was even piqued when I bought a vintage burberry trench coat or a vintage givenchy jacket for 60,- - she easily could find the same things online. I don't get it.
> She also is clearly the person when you meet her and she doesn't say anything you know you look very good that day


Ha!  I know the type. Sad.


----------



## baghagg

Only once - I thought she was a true friend up until then, but after her bizarre reaction to my Chanel CF I realized she's actually a frienemy.  The punchline is she makes more money than I (she happens to be a surgeon).  She can have any bag she wants, but can't pull the trigger, so I guess she prefers to seethe and spew unwarranted insults, etc. #herloss


----------



## totesmcgoats

ladyd14 said:


> One of my friends once said to me, How do you think it make me feel, when you carry expensive bags & driving an expensive car, and yet I can’t afford bus fare to pick my kids from school?  it made me feel very sad for her. Another one said look at you coming to work wearing 2 Cartier bracelets, you need to be mindful of the real world & how others feel. Even though I tried not to care I always wear long sleeves top when I go to work just to hide my bracelets sad but true.



I had the weirdest similar thing happen to me once. My husband and I both ended up chaperoning one of our kids’ field trips years ago. I brought snacks for my kid. The other woman who was chaperoning our group offered our kid Cheeze-Its. Our kid turns around to look at me, I shake my head and so our daughter says “No thank you, I think my Mom has snacks for me”. 

The group moves on and my husband tells me later that I made her feel badly because clearly I think I am better than her. She went on to tell him that I didn’t have a right to do that because we are clearly well off and she can’t afford organic, gluten free snacks and she’s a single parent holding down two jobs.

The snack I handed our kid was a green apple.

My point is: people are weird. Who cares what anyone else thinks? 100% of people who judge other people are insecure. 

No one with a modicum of class or refinement would even notice, let alone bother to make a sideways remark.


----------



## Madrye28

I think it’s all in our heads.  Most people aren’t into Luxury goods and wouldn’t know the difference between a Chanel bag or something they sell at Marshall’s with a similar quilted pattern.  If they aren’t familiar with the brand, then they wouldn’t be familiar with the price point, and could care less.  Could also be other personality quirks that people don’t care for and the Chanel bag is the icing on the cake. Who cares?  People who mind don’t matter and people that matter don’t mind.


----------



## loves

No and never. Unless you count that one time a stranger in a club vomited on my shoes but I think he was drunk and not jealous of my new Louboutin.

Those who know me know I am child-free so I have play money to buy what I like. 

As for strangers of the non-vomiting sort, I don't notice them nor does it matter to me what they think.


----------



## Sunshine mama

totesmcgoats said:


> I had the weirdest similar thing happen to me once. My husband and I both ended up chaperoning one of our kids’ field trips years ago. I brought snacks for my kid. The other woman who was chaperoning our group offered our kid Cheeze-Its. Our kid turns around to look at me, I shake my head and so our daughter says “No thank you, I think my Mom has snacks for me”.
> 
> The group moves on and my husband tells me later that I made her feel badly because clearly I think I am better than her. She went on to tell him that I didn’t have a right to do that because we are clearly well off and she can’t afford organic, gluten free snacks and she’s a single parent holding down two jobs.
> 
> The snack I handed our kid was a green apple.
> 
> My point is: people are weird. Who cares what anyone else thinks? 100% of people who judge other people are insecure.
> 
> No one with a modicum of class or refinement would even notice, let alone bother to make a sideways remark.


Oh wow. Saying that she is weird is an understatement. How did she come to the conclusion that you were acting like you were better than her, simply by saying no to cheezits for your child? And that made her feel bad?
How awkward your husband must have felt.


----------



## totesmcgoats

Sunshine mama said:


> Oh wow. Saying that she is weird is an understatement. How did she come to the conclusion that you were acting like you were better than her, simply by saying no to cheezits for your child? And that made her feel bad?
> How awkward your husband must have felt.



I haven’t the slightest idea. I think it was worse that she went and kvetched to my husband about it when I was 10 feet away from her.


----------



## Annabella4

Jealousy is hard, I had a friend being jealous of me and she admitted to it. I was very impressed with her honesty. I think we all sometimes feel like we are not enough, not good enough, rich enough, altruistic enough, kind enough, successful enough. When we then compare ourselves to others the green monster of jealousy can easily show its nasty face. Let just not pretend, not even for a moment that the stuff we own defines us. And let us not judge others on what they can or cannot afford. In the end, it is stuff, just bags!


----------



## Muffin_Top

I sometimes experiment such jealousy, but it is kind of "self-induced jealousy". I own under the radar clothes and accessories (Épi leather, or Hermès silver jewelry for instance) and my weak point is shoes.
I regularly get complimented, and kindly thank the person without saying more.
And sometimes the person asks me where it's from... I always answer honestly, but I'm wondering if lying would not be better !
Last time it happened, a lady I chatted with several times told me "I like your boots, these are original ! Where are they from ?" "Well, they're from Paul Smith", and then she went "Oh, you're that kind of person".
Instead of precising I got them on the winter sale, I should just have said that she herself wanted to know, so what ?

In my place, would you sometimes lie concerning your clothes and accessories ?


----------



## sdkitty

Muffin_Top said:


> I regularly experiment such jealousy, but it is kind of "self-induced jealousy". I own under the radar clothes and accessories (Épi leather, or Hermès silver jewelry for instance) and my weak point is shoes.
> I regularly get complimented, and kindly thank the person without saying more.
> And sometimes the person asks me where it's from... I always answer honestly, but I'm wondering if lying would not be better !
> Last time it happened, a lady I chatted with several times told me "I like your boots, these are original ! Where are they from ?" "Well, they're from Paul Smith", and then she went "Oh, you're that kind of person".
> Instead of precising I got them on the winter sale, I should just have said that she herself wanted to know, so what ?
> 
> In my place, would you sometimes lie concerning your clothes and accessories ?


I can't recall anyone asking me where I got something.  Guess you could be vague - got it at a dept store, or don't recall exactly, if this happens to you a lot


----------



## Muffin_Top

sdkitty said:


> I can't recall anyone asking me where I got something.  Guess you could be vague - got it at a dept store, or don't recall exactly, if this happens to you a lot


Actually I also dare to ask this myself and people are flattered.
I'll do as you advise me next time (and try not to choke when pretending I don't remember where my Farandole 160 is from ^^)


----------



## sdkitty

Muffin_Top said:


> Actually I also dare to ask this myself and people are flattered.
> I'll do as you advise me next time (and try not to choke when pretending I don't remember where my Farandole 160 is from ^^)


I had a woman asking me the details of the color my hairdresser used on me.  We were standing in line and it was my turn so no time to answer, and I wouldn't have known anyway.


----------



## Uptown Luxer

Muffin_Top said:


> I sometimes experiment such jealousy, but it is kind of "self-induced jealousy". I own under the radar clothes and accessories (Épi leather, or Hermès silver jewelry for instance) and my weak point is shoes.
> I regularly get complimented, and kindly thank the person without saying more.
> And sometimes the person asks me where it's from... I always answer honestly, but I'm wondering if lying would not be better !
> Last time it happened, a lady I chatted with several times told me "I like your boots, these are original ! Where are they from ?" "Well, they're from Paul Smith", and then she went "Oh, you're that kind of person".
> Instead of precising I got them on the winter sale, I should just have said that she herself wanted to know, so what ?
> 
> In my place, would you sometimes lie concerning your clothes and accessories ?


I do that with my in-laws.  If my mother in law asks me about which fragrance I am wearing I just say “I didn’t memorize the name.  Sorry!  I have so many!!”  They are extremely judgmental and I don’t want them to know I wear expensive perfume. I want to be away from the judgment and the spotlight. Regarding bags, I don’t even think about using my Chanels to work.  I stick to LV Neverfull or speedy tops. Ppl are very gossipy


----------



## Joelene

Muffin_Top said:


> I sometimes experiment such jealousy, but it is kind of "self-induced jealousy". I own under the radar clothes and accessories (Épi leather, or Hermès silver jewelry for instance) and my weak point is shoes.
> I regularly get complimented, and kindly thank the person without saying more.
> And sometimes the person asks me where it's from... I always answer honestly, but I'm wondering if lying would not be better !
> Last time it happened, a lady I chatted with several times told me "I like your boots, these are original ! Where are they from ?" "Well, they're from Paul Smith", and then she went "Oh, you're that kind of person".
> Instead of precising I got them on the winter sale, I should just have said that she herself wanted to know, so what ?
> 
> In my place, would you sometimes lie concerning your clothes and accessories ?


In situations like that sometimes I just say, “It was a gift”. In order to avoid saying the brand name.


----------



## Lovely87

baghagg said:


> Only once - I thought she was a true friend up until then, but after her bizarre reaction to my Chanel CF I realized she's actually a frienemy.  The punchline is she makes more money than I (she happens to be a surgeon).  She can have any bag she wants, but can't pull the trigger, so I guess she prefers to seethe and spew unwarranted insults, etc. #herloss


What did she say ??? That made you realize she was a friendemie


----------



## baghagg

Lovely87 said:


> What did she say ??? That made you realize she was a friendemie


Words to the effect:..."oh my God! that's THAT bag! I know what is! it's so expensive! I don't know how you could have that! I made my assistant look up the prices! I have a patient who has one!we can't believe..!  How can you spend that kind of money on a bag!  Are you crazy!  OH MY GOD!  WHY WOULD YOU BUY ONE?!...!".
 blah blah blah it went on and on and on, a diatribe, really, all the while yelling about how expensive they are and unnecessary and not even attractive, what a waste, etc..
"What kind of person purchases a bag like that?"
Ironically, at some point after that she was eyeing up my 226, it seemed like she recognized that there was something about it she should know but couldn't quite figure it out lol.  She kept looking at it, I thought she was going to reach out and grab it (it was on a table),.. luckily, there was a lot going on that night and she wasn't able to fully focus on it.  I couldn't wait to get out of there.


----------



## simone72

My bosses wife of all people always looks at a bag or shoe (Chanel) mostly and says stupid things like I don’t k ow how you do it ! Insulting but who cares I’m too Old and she’s older btw should know better than saying offensive stuff like that!


----------



## Lalaloopsy12345

Some people are not bag people and they don’t get the allure, and that’s ok.  It’s most definitely not ok to make someone else else feel badly for how they spend their own money on things that make them happy.  A friend of mine says, it doesn’t hurt them financially for you to have the bag, so don’t worry about what anyone thinks.  Some things I don’t understand that I have to bite my tongue and stay silent: going on cruises (I don’t get it), motorcycles (why?!), hunting (Bambi!), camping with little kids (how is that fun?), eating McDonald’s (eww), or swimming in the lake (bad childhood memories).  I often have the same kind of reaction- your doing what? Why would you want to do that?!  I think it’s across the board, people are opinionated and don’t know when to keep their opinions to themselves.


----------



## slytheringirl

I'll be the first to admit that yes, I do get a tad jealous whenever I see someone carrying a nice designer handbag. However, I take a step back and remind myself that I don't know that person or what their life is like. Yesterday, I went to a mall I've never been to before and practically everyone and their great grandma had a designer bag. I've never seen so many Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags in one day before. It was a mixture of jealousy and admiration, though mostly admiration. Also, I saw Louis Vuitton bags being styled in many different ways, which actually made me like the monogram a lot more than I ever thought I would. Such a huge difference seeing it out and about in real life, and online with spectacular lighting and photoshop.

Even though there was that twinge of jealousy, I would never even think to make a comment, bump into somebody's bag, or try to spill something on it. Or even to bump into/hit that person with my body or a cart or whatever. That's way beyond rude.

It seems that people are so quick to judge without even taking the following into consideration:

1) Maybe that item was a gift, passed down from someone they knew, or from a preloved website.
2) How long they've even been growing their collection.
3) Maybe they had to scrimp and save for that item because they really had their heart set on it.
4) They worked their butt off to even be able to be in a position to buy luxury items without it being a huge deal.
5) Maybe they're just really smart shoppers and only shop luxury whenever there's a sale.

Even if they happened to marry wealthy or have well off parents, so what? It's their money, and they can spend it how they like.


----------



## Rami00

Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
Me: Na, dupes
These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.


----------



## Sunshine mama

Rami00 said:


> Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
> Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
> Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
> It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
> Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
> Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
> Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
> Me: Na, dupes
> These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.


IMHO, narcissistic people need to knock people down so that those knocked down squirm in front of them. That's how they get their energy. 
The trick is to not squirm and stay away. Ignore them. That way they lose interest and move on to another victim.


----------



## sdkitty

Rami00 said:


> Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
> Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
> Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
> It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
> Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
> Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
> Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
> Me: Na, dupes
> These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.


Are you that much wealthier or better dressed than your co-workers?  If this person recognizes designer things then I'm thinking she is somewhat into fashion and not poor.  If you are truly in an environment where you are the only one wearing expensive designer things while your colleagues (not subordinates but people on your level) are dressing in very inexpensive clothes, then you might want think about dressing down a bit.  I don't know what field you're in but I think in most occupations it's pretty rare to see someone wearing Hermes shoes.


----------



## Christofle

Rami00 said:


> Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
> Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
> Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
> It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
> Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
> Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
> Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
> Me: Na, dupes
> These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.


Sorry you had to go through this... makes me glad I don’t have to deal with co-workers.


----------



## monkyjib

Rami00 said:


> Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
> Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
> Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
> It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
> Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
> Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
> Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
> Me: Na, dupes
> These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.



If I were you, I’d just smile kindly to that person and walked off. No need to justify what you’re wearing.


----------



## limom

sdkitty said:


> Are you that much wealthier or better dressed than your co-workers?  If this person recognizes designer things then I'm thinking she is somewhat into fashion and not poor.  If you are truly in an environment where you are the only one wearing expensive designer things while your colleagues (not subordinates but people on your level) are dressing in very inexpensive clothes, then you might want think about dressing down a bit.  I don't know what field you're in but I think in most occupations it's pretty rare to see someone wearing Hermes shoes.


I was actually suspected of theft by my boss for carrying a bag and a wallet that she deemed too luxurious for my life circumstances.
Her best friend was the thief and got fired.
Good times.


Sunshine mama said:


> IMHO, narcissistic people need to knock people down so that those knocked down squirm in front of them. That's how they get their energy.
> The trick is to not squirm and stay away. Ignore them. That way they lose interest and move on to another victim.


Yes. so true.


Christofle said:


> Sorry you had to go through this... makes me glad I don’t have to deal with co-workers.


Same here. WFH has its advantages.


----------



## Rami00

sdkitty said:


> Are you that much wealthier or better dressed than your co-workers?  If this person recognizes designer things then I'm thinking she is somewhat into fashion and not poor.  If you are truly in an environment where you are the only one wearing expensive designer things while your colleagues (not subordinates but people on your level) are dressing in very inexpensive clothes, then you might want think about dressing down a bit.  I don't know what field you're in but I think in most occupations it's pretty rare to see someone wearing Hermes shoes.


Seems like she has been doing this to other coworkers too. At this point everyone knows and avoid her. It’s not limited to just designer stuff, apparently when someone comes back from vacation, the kinda car someone drives...she always has something to say. I realized some people love nice things but don’t won’t to spend money ..so no need to fit in with them.


----------



## Rami00

Christofle said:


> Sorry you had to go through this... makes me glad I don’t have to deal with co-workers.


Thank you. You are lucky! Hopefully same for me by the end of this year


----------



## Rami00

monkyjib said:


> If I were you, I’d just smile kindly to that person and walked off. No need to justify what you’re wearing.


You are absolutely correct. I should have never entertain her to begin with. Live and learn.


----------



## Rami00

Sunshine mama said:


> IMHO, narcissistic people need to knock people down so that those knocked down squirm in front of them. That's how they get their energy.
> The trick is to not squirm and stay away. Ignore them. That way they lose interest and move on to another victim.


Every word you said - 100%


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## luxsal

Very interesting topic! I get comments like my husband listens to me or that I am very controlling and can get my husband to buy me branded items. Like all the time! Once, a video related to luxury was shared in a group text. I was literally called out along with my friend on how we can get our husbands to buy expensive things for us. I shot them down with a comment that it is not my husband who buys them, I buy them with my own money..bam! *hair flip*
I just about had it. And even if my husband bought it ...so what?! People just need to mind their own business...


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## platanoparty

This thread is so interesting! I also wrote this and it’s super long so apologies in advance! I didn’t realize I had so many thoughts haha.

I have been reflecting on this since I have been WFH for a year+. I do not have any friends that admire and appreciate fashion history or luxury houses like me. I think most dress very well but simply, or if they like fashion they go all out on their vintage finds or niche local designers they love. But for me, even as a young teenager working my first job, I always loved putting together cool outfits and looking at second hand stores for great finds. I live in the USA and I just don’t feel (barring a very few cities or areas) that we have much of a fashion culture here. I always got weird stares or questions from people around me - “where are you going? Why are you so dressed up? Who are you trying to impress? Are you going on a date?” I was just a 16 year old enjoying her creativity  But alas, the questions or looks never stopped.

Fast forward to working as a professional in the tech industry. I still loved to dress up, but I “know my audience” so to speak. This industry doesn’t care about fashion and feels often times like it congratulates the uniform of company logo shirt and jeans (especially for men). As a woman of color in particular, I was raised to always look and act kind and professional in order to get ahead in this world. My culture is big on fashion and being put together. My family is one of immigrants and I was the first to graduate college. I am very proud of my background and as someone who represents my culture, I felt I was raised to show the best version of myself In spaces where others may not be like me. And that’s ok! I am proud of who I am and my background.

Once I had a good enough salary and grew in my career, I explored my first love - shoes. I bought practical but durable shoes like Ferragamo Vara or Gucci loafers. “If you know, you know” type shoes. I also began finding great pre-loved finds on eBay for brands like Sandro, Zimmermann, Jonathan Simkai, beautiful and elegant clothes that have personality but look a bit different than the norm. I really cherish my things and want them to last, so I try to invest in items that are made well and natural fibers. I still got those same kinds of comments as I did in high school, but I felt with more scrutiny. I don’t know if it’s because of my cultural background, or because others felt envious of me, or they saw me as someone who was frivolous and too young to have nice things (you don’t have to be an executive to buy nice things smartly - I put myself through college and worked since I was a teenager. I know how to use my money well!)

what really put me off was one day, I took in my very first designer bag. My Prada Saffiano that was, and still is in my opinion, a subtle and practical work bag especially if you do not see the logo. I only brought it in because I was hoping to buy an accessory for it after work. I had it placed on my cubby next to my desk and the VP of my team walked by me and scrutinized it. “OH! Is this a rent-the-runway type thing?” And just laughed at me. I brought it in MONTHS after I bought it because I was scared of people thinking I was being “better” than them, or that I wouldn’t deserve a raise for my performance review later in the year because they would assume I am “rich”. I felt so frustrated that I sadly never used it at that company again.

I hate to make this sound like a sob story because I do NOT think this is even a problem - with age and wisdom, I really love and appreciate my style even if it’s too much for others. I try not to use my more obvious designer items in places where they will be looked down upon, but it does make me sad that that is a thing to even consider. So many people I knew at that company spent every weekend partying blowing their entire paycheck on substances of their choice, or brunching at the most expensive new spot in town, paying a premium for the fanciest gym, etc. I know what I like to spend my money on, and that is investments, experiences, and fashion. If that makes people question me on the surface, that is really their problem. I treat all with respect unless they make me question them other wise. I’m not sure why seeing a small “cc” on my heel is enough for one to sour their attitude.

LONG story aside - I just have to say I’m grateful for this forum. It’s really nice to be in a judgement free zone for those who love fashion and especially bags. My two Chanel bags are honestly some of my most prized possessions, and I had dreamed of them most of my life. It is nice to be able to enjoy them with a community that “gets it”  Thanks so much for reviving this thread and for letting me share. I hope you all can enjoy the beautiful items you love in good health and safety.


----------



## glendaPLEASE

This thread is super interesting. TBH I am usually really afraid of peoples' judgement about my designer things at the place I work, so I avoid wearing my designer pieces there. Most of the time if I wear something nice, it will be commented on by some co-worker and the paranoia of being called out for being bougie will take over me and I'll never wear that item again.

It's really sad, and diminishes my enjoyment of being myself at work and I kind of want to work on getting over it. I hate that I have like "work outfits" and "regular outfits" in my closet, and the former are really drab and boring and not very fun to wear versus the latter because I'm afraid of being judged at work. I am considering just saying F-it and wearing my designer things at work and being honest about how I come by them, like saying something like "No I don't get paid way more than you, but yes I am lucky not to be saddled with a mountain of debt. So yes, I use a portion of my spending money on these things instead of other things like fancy dinners, all-inclusive vacays, or children (I am not planning to have kids so I don't need to save for anyone's college fund), and I also have enough to buy a house, so I'm doing just fine financially even with my spending choices. So there. You want to keep coming at me?"

In the past I  have had people sound jealous and judgmental when they talk to me about my designer things, but they tend not to be friends and never made it to anything like a friend relationship with me anyways. Other co-workers and friends I have might look at a designer item I have for a bit longer than normal, but not comment on it. I don't really know what to do in those situations tbh. Still working that out. Haha.


----------



## ipekkeles

i have had former co-workers use my bag purchases as ice breakers with their new collegues in their new departments. i've had people transfered from other departments to mine and they've been told about my bags by my former supervisors. on the other hand younger male co-workers with a benz and bmw in their driveway are never talked about. people think i have rich parents and a rich husband. who cares. i work a lot, i get the job done and i probably like shopping a bit too much.


----------



## lana9993

Rami00 said:


> Before corona virus era, this coworker of mine would make a comment on anything and everything I would wear.
> Is that a Cartier? wow rich you, why you even work girl? Work is for people like us.
> Is that a Chanel bag? Wish I was as lucky as you. Some of us have mortgages to pay.
> It came to a very uncomfortable point and started to lie....
> Her: Is that a yellow diamond?
> Me: Ahhh this, na this is citrine.
> Her: Are those Hermès shoes?
> Me: Na, dupes
> These kinda responses made her happy. I don’t understand why some humans choose to be so annoying and disrespectful.



I've been shopping over the past year and while I'm super happy with the pieces I added to my collection, I've been dreading the judgement when it's time to come back to the office, so you know what? I'll do this too. If anyone asks me I'll just say those are dupes from ebay.


----------



## Sunshine mama

lana9993 said:


> I've been shopping over the past year and while I'm super happy with the pieces I added to my collection, I've been dreading the judgement when it's time to come back to the office, so you know what? I'll do this too. If anyone asks me I'll just say those are dupes from ebay.


I've thought of doing this around certain people in my life,  but ultimately I chicken out and just use a very low-key bag around them.


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## lana9993

Sunshine mama said:


> I've thought of doing this around certain people in my life,  but ultimately I chicken out and just use a very low-key bag around them.



Honestly, I'll probably not take anything with huge monograms either, but for example Celine and Hermes can be a bit more low-key then I can just say they're a dupe. The jewelry will be from ebay too and it's brass. I don't want my things to sit in the closet and work is where I spend most of my time so it is what it is


----------



## DiamondGirl17

I’ve dealt with this type of stuff my whole life smh. Either a “friend” or classmate or someone I work with would always mention something about my designer items or accuse me of showing off. I even had someone I thought I was cool with pick up one of my bags and dropped it on purpose! I also had someone tell me some really nasty things about my family and the way I grew up. I don’t act like I’m better than anyone, but people hate to see your confidence no matter how humble you are. It’s especially worse being a black woman with luxurious things. I’m fortunate enough to have a supportive family, true friends and the courage enough to stand up for myself throughout everything.


----------



## honey52

I have felt like the people around me feel they deserve more from me when they see overt symbols of wealth. Like I should be treating them out, or picking up the tab, or whatever (staff and some people who I thought were friends but I'd rather not be around). Not sure if they feel happy for you or not (likely not) but they think "oh it must be nice to afford that" when they are out booking flights to places and spending thousands on a new puppy. But they don't always remember, to each their own when it comes to money. Clearly it's not like they don't have any, they just chose to use it differently. Yet the judgement is real.


----------



## iheartchanel99

With certain friends, I have to switch to my low-key bags just so I can avoid snarky comments or how/where I should spend my money. Money that I’ve earned. It’s uncomfortable


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## love.chanel2018

I don't know if this thread's title "jealous" is fitting with my experiences though, maybe the words could be different ( maybe "judgmental" ) I know some people just react to flashy branded logos things and some people simply don't like those luxury handbags or flashy bags that look like showing off the money or wealth, so It's not "jealous".  I have a few friends who are vegans and vegetarians and they simply don't own any leather handbags or shoes even though they're actually true millionaires, while I am not..lol I love luxury leather handbags but I don't live in those gorgeous castle or mansion like they do live in. I don't give thousands dollars to charities every month like they do... So this "jealousy" things is not because people can afford or can't afford. Some people just don't like flashy branded symbol or logos, or leather items. They just react automatically to those who wear them, maybe " judgmental"  but not because of "jealous", that I know.
Funny thing though, actually I had some interesting experiences at luxury Boutique and retail stores, sometimes other ladies who were wearing their brand handbags ( include Chanel or LV, Gucci ) reacted obvious jealousy towards my friend's or mine..maybe because these were hard to find bags or something to their eyes, and I'm not saying we were self conscious with our bags ( that wasn't admiring eyes at all, more like scary staring eyes..lol..yea both of us confirmed that), even though they were wearing their gorgeous bags and jewelries enough. We understand that is the first world problem's "jealous" and whoever got deep into this luxury world has this endless obsession that makes wants more and more...sometimes they noticed outside what they don't have yet and want some more that other people have but they don't, even though they have great or even better bags collection probably enough lol


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## iheartchanel99

love.chanel2018 said:


> I don't know if this thread's title "jealous" is fitting with my experiences though, maybe the words could be different ( maybe "judgmental" ) I know some people just react to flashy branded logos things and some people simply don't like those luxury handbags or flashy bags that look like showing off the money or wealth, so It's not "jealous".  I have a few friends who are vegans and vegetarians and they simply don't own any leather handbags or shoes even though they're actually true millionaires, while I am not..lol I love luxury leather handbags but I don't live in those gorgeous castle or mansion like they do live in. I don't give thousands dollars to charities every month like they do... So this "jealousy" things is not because people can afford or can't afford. Some people just don't like flashy branded symbol or logos, or leather items. They just react automatically to those who wear them, maybe " judgmental"  but not because of "jealous", that I know.
> Funny thing though, actually I had some interesting experiences at luxury Boutique and retail stores, sometimes other ladies who were wearing their brand handbags ( include Chanel or LV, Gucci ) reacted obvious jealousy towards my friend's or mine..maybe because these were hard to find bags or something to their eyes, and I'm not saying we were self conscious with our bags ( that wasn't admiring eyes at all, more like scary staring eyes..lol..yea both of us confirmed that), even though they were wearing their gorgeous bags and jewelries enough. We understand that is the first world problem's "jealous" and whoever got deep into this luxury world has this endless obsession that makes wants more and more...sometimes they noticed outside what they don't have yet and want some more that other people have but they don't, even though they have great or even better bags collection probably enough lol



AGREE...a lot of it is JUDGMENT


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## lovieluvslux

Great topic.  I believe it's a bit of both jealousy and a whole lot of judgement.  In high tech, the housing pricings and COL are so high that some people cannot fathom paying thousands on a designer bag when they are paying for prime real estate..  I met one lady who scoffed at the idea of buying LV or any designer items.  She owned a beautiful home in the hills and takes yearly international vacations...so I get that she doesn't want to buy those things.  It's all about choices.

My last job was 80% women.  They always knew I liked designer luxury stuff, but didn't put me down - at least to my face.  Some of these women were single moms with deadbeat dads. So I get why spending on designer stuff if shameful.  Two ladies were more minimalistic and believed in living a healthy life and putting away $$ for early retirement, sabbatical, or their kids.  I appreciated they did not believe in designer things.

However, I didn't wear my designer bags to office that often.  Maybe once or twice, because I didn't want to have a discussion about it.

Pre-CV I preferred to wear my designer bags for dinners, but not concerts and sporting events.

I am realising that I am more of a collector and not a wearer.  Perhaps I am avoiding some eye contact and off-handed comments that I might have to take up a discussion.

Now that I work remote for the time being, I wear my designer cross body bags the most (YSL, Bal, yes Coach).  I am rethinking about the high end designer bags like Chanel Jumbos and my evening bags (Gucci pearl, Chanel O'Cases) clutches, for example.  I fear I might start selling off these items as there really isn't a lifestyle need.  Sorry to change topic here.


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## sydsunshine

Not really, it seems like every woman and her dog have a Chanel bag these days. Depending on where you live and who you hang out with, having a Chanel bag is very common.

This is very true especially with my group of friends, we all work in corporate jobs. And like designer bags.


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## 2manychins

I would never tell someone that my bag was a counterfeit, especially at work.  I think saying I was ok with buying fake items, or even worse being caught lying would reflect badly on my character.  If I felt like my purchases were an issue at work I simply wouldn’t bring them to work.  Or I’d say they were presents, or an inheritance.  As to what friends or family say, or if they treated my personal property poorly I’d shut that down quickly.  If someone was staring at me I’d simply smile and move away.  Life’s too short to be so dramatic or worry about what others say and think.


----------



## Roe

Great thread.  This is how I've seen snarkiness, pettiness and jealousy from some friends, associates and acquaintances.  Example being:  I have a friend whom we share mutual friends on our social.  One friend will post an action pic of their new designer bag or shoes to only hear another friend comment or message me; Did you see so and so post her new this or that? Desperate much? or How tacky is she? It's probably not even real or Wonder which sugar daddy she got to buy it for her?  It leaves me to wonder what they have said of ME the times I do it.


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## tinybutterfly

This is an interesting thread. 

A long time ago, I was at a conference at a university and I saw a young student with a LV NF that had the graffiti pattern on it. I can't remember the name of the designer who was collaborating with LV to design this pattern. Anyway, her NF had the bright green color graffiti. I know it also came in bright orange and bright, hot pink. I was staring at her bag, admiring it and at first she smiled...I kept staring and I know my brow was furrowed, because I was thinking hard..."Am I too old for this bag with the graffiti pattern on it...if I do get it, would I want this green or maybe the pink?" Meanwhile, that poor girl went from pleased, to aggravated, to dismissive and she turned on her heel and walked off in a bit of a huff. I really should have spoken up and told her I loved her handbag, but I was so busy in my head trying to decide if I was too old for the bag and what color I might like, plus it all happened pretty quickly! I still feel a bit guilty about that! lol. 

I am careful where I wear my nicer handbags. I have some friends I would never wear my more expensive bags around, because I know it would cause friction or snarky remarks. If I am having lunch with them, I carry something that attracts no attention. One of my other friends, I carry whatever I please. She doesn't care, she is happy with her  life and it is a non-issue. 

I agree that in general most people don't notice what handbags we carry, but some few people do notice. Most people who do notice are nice and just admire from afar, some few may feel resentment...but I think people like that may feel resentment about anything and everything. It is just a part of who they are maybe?


----------



## daisychainz

I haven't noticed anyone doing this to me, being jealous. People have their own worries and self-concerns occupying their mind and probably don't give a thought to my bag. I have seen women in/around my work look at my bags sometimes, but perhaps I occupy their thoughts for a second or so, and then they move along. If someone is 'jealous' I've never been made aware of it, and I don't have friends or family who make me feel awkward.


----------



## maris.crane

ipekkeles said:


> i have had former co-workers use my bag purchases as ice breakers with their new collegues in their new department



Me too! 

It depends on who it is, though. I had one girl message me privately on the work inbox, as I’d brought in my Marmont camera one day and she was like ‘I love bags but have no one to talk about them with!’. 

Sometimes, I think coworkers and supervisors  don’t know how to describe a person to someone else - so they may say, you know short blonde with the bags or the guy with full head of hair and snappy ties. It only bugs me when it’s someone trying to be shady - like the dude I barely know from Adam whom asked if I bought an LV with my bonus (I told him no, I bought a Saint Laurent!). But it never bothered me when previous bosses at end of year that I actually had rapport with said something about not spending it all on just a bag.


----------



## ipekkeles

maris.crane said:


> Me too!
> 
> It depends on who it is, though. I had one girl message me privately on the work inbox, as I’d brought in my Marmont camera one day and she was like ‘I love bags but have no one to talk about them with!’.
> 
> Sometimes, I think coworkers and supervisors  don’t know how to describe a person to someone else - so they may say, you know short blonde with the bags or the guy with full head of hair and snappy ties. It only bugs me when it’s someone trying to be shady - like the dude I barely know from Adam whom asked if I bought an LV with my bonus (I told him no, I bought a Saint Laurent!). But it never bothered me when previous bosses at end of year that I actually had rapport with said something about not spending it all on just a bag.



for me it was him calling me on the phone, on a work day, during work hours, asking how much i paid for my 226 reissue, i told him the price thinking he is buying one as a gift to his mum or sister (we are family friends as well as collegues), then he was like guys here (from his new department) think it is crazy to spend that kind of money on a bag. 

i was pissed off so i told him, his "guys there" are probably junior engineers and don't earn as much as i do. 

it is not like i'm 15 buying chanel left and right with my parents' money, i'm an engineer, i've my masters degree, i've been working in tech for almost 15 years, i own my home and car, i save up for my kid's future and i pay my bills. what i do with the rest of money is my business only.


----------



## redjellybean

I have never carried a designer bag to work . When I go to work I use Coach , MK or Tory Burch . I know some colleagues have designer bags but only 1or 2 brings it to work.


----------



## Sferics

ipekkeles said:


> asking how much i paid for my 226 reissue



I wonder how these "guys there" recognized a reissue at all...what was going on "over there"?

I don't take my more flashy bags to the office because I make a lot more money than the women there - of course I have different job and therefore I have a different salary but they don't really know backgrounds or the larger context. They have assimilated (on an unconscious level?) that there are jobs for men and jobs for women...they don't get that I do one of those "man-jobs"...and even If they would understand, they would think I would be payed less...because...I'm a woman. I need them to do their jobs with goodwill...so I don't want to rub it in their faces. Sigh.


----------



## Freetofly

I've recently had a not very nice encounter with a couple of colleagues at work. One day I went into the office, and there were only a handful of other people in at the same time. I wore my new Chanel coco handle and a senior women in my department came over to ask questions about was it fake, how much was it, when did I get it etc. She went back to her desk and said to her colleague "see I told you it was more than xxx, I would never spend that much on a bag". Then two of them whispered about it back and forth for a while. And this woman carries her LVs to work! I thought she out of anyone else in the office would understand but nope she's just as judgy if not more so.


----------



## Sferics

Freetofly said:


> I've recently had a not very nice encounter with a couple of colleagues at work. One day I went into the office, and there were only a handful of other people in at the same time. I wore my new Chanel coco handle and a senior women in my department came over to ask questions about was it fake, how much was it, when did I get it etc. She went back to her desk and said to her colleague "see I told you it was more than xxx, I would never spend that much on a bag". Then two of them whispered about it back and forth for a while. And this woman carries her LVs to work! I thought she out of anyone else in the office would understand but nope she's just as judgy if not more so.


That's just rude. And mean.


----------



## Rensera

I had a strange incident last week. My coworker loves bags more than anything and usually talks about them all the time. I stay low key on that and usually carry bags that don't stand out too much, for example Celine. On this day, I had my old Chanel CF in lambskin with me for the first time, as I still had to go to an event in the evening. To my surprise, my coworker said nothing. Not a word, absolute silence. That was fine with me and I thought no more about it. At noon, a fellow coworker came by, complimented me on the bag and took a closer look at it. Then my bag loving coworker said, without looking up from her documents: "The bag is fake". I was completely speechless for a moment and just said "Eh.... no????".


----------



## Sferics

Rensera said:


> "Eh.... no????".



Omg...what happened next???


----------



## maris.crane

Freetofly said:


> I've recently had a not very nice encounter with a couple of colleagues at work. One day I went into the office, and there were only a handful of other people in at the same time. I wore my new Chanel coco handle and a senior women in my department came over to ask questions about was it fake, how much was it, when did I get it etc. She went back to her desk and said to her colleague "see I told you it was more than xxx, I would never spend that much on a bag". Then two of them whispered about it back and forth for a while. And this woman carries her LVs to work! I thought she out of anyone else in the office would understand but nope she's just as judgy if not more so.



Fake LVs maybe?


----------



## sparklywacky

Not sure exactly what to make of this “situation” but wanted to share anyway. So this person (not a friend, not even family) clocked me last summer when she saw me carrying Chanel shopping bags on my way home and was like “it’s so unfair when you are shopping while the rest of the world is going through so much awful things”. Yeah, I am aware of what’s going on - but what she saw was just a tiny detail/part of me that’s trying to “escape” by means of retail therapy. She has no idea what I’ve done to help my community or what I’ve been through last year and for her to judge me based on a TINY detail she’s seen of my life bugged me. But whatever, I let it pass. 

I saw her again during the elections last year and she had the audacity to make another unsolicited opinion about my shopping and handbags.

And then recently, I ran into her once again but this time she brought up how she’s been shopping a lot because her new job pays her well. Then later that night she texted me for fashion advices and showed me all these stuff she bought. It almost felt like she was trying to compete when I am not even competing with anyone. I shop because I appreciate beautiful things. I do it for ME with ZERO intentions of competing with anyone. Anyway, I was tempted to turn the tables on her because her hypocrisy was astounding but I’d rather not waste my time on senseless unnecessary drama.


----------



## Sferics

@sparklywacky Some people are so exhaustingly strange...


----------



## 880

daisychainz said:


> I haven't noticed anyone doing this to me, being jealous. People have their own worries and self-concerns occupying their mind and probably don't give a thought to my bag. I have seen women in/around my work look at my bags sometimes, but perhaps I occupy their thoughts for a second or so, and then they move along. If someone is 'jealous' I've never been made aware of it, and I don't have friends or family who make me feel awkward.


+1, but I’m horrified about how some people can be so rude and mean In the posts ^ When I was younger, I sometimes felt like my MIL and her friends were surprised at some of my stuff, but if the subject came up,  I always explained truthfully that I came from a family of shoppers (GM, mom, three aunts, cousins, godmother etc. and a lot of stuff — jewelry, bags, shoes, RTW, was passed around. For example, if my aunt bought a bag and decided the shoulder drop was wrong, she might give it to me etc. Those days, no one sold or consigned anything). I do have a real dislike for branded shopping bags, designer boxes, garment bags etc., bc when stuff is delivered, I would rather the building staff and neighbors not see brand names and draw any conclusions, so I always ask for unmarked outer wrapping. If I carry stuff home from the store, it’s usually in a WF shopping bag. And, I don’t really accept boxes unless I eventually intend to give the item as a present (to mom, aunts, cousins, etc).

when I go out with friends, they could care less, and I don’t think they notice. If we’re going to a nice place, I might wear nice stuff. If we’re meeting on a street corner (during covid this happened) I wore yoga pants. . .

@tinybutterfly, I loved the graffiti Stephen spouse collaboration for LV. I kept a long alma in black and white. I picked up a colorful graffiti GM NF, but decided I was too old for it

@Sferics, you should get those Ceinture boots (as per your balenciaga thread) and stomp on those idiots in your workplace. 

@platanoparty, I really liked your entire post. I’ve gone back to reread it a few times


----------



## bergafer3

sparklywacky said:


> Not sure exactly what to make of this “situation” but wanted to share anyway. So this person (not a friend, not even family) clocked me last summer when she saw me carrying Chanel shopping bags on my way home and was like “it’s so unfair when you are shopping while the rest of the world is going through so much awful things”. Yeah, I am aware of what’s going on - but what she saw was just a tiny detail/part of me that’s trying to “escape” by means of retail therapy. She has no idea what I’ve done to help my community or what I’ve been through last year and for her to judge me based on a TINY detail she’s seen of my life bugged me. But whatever, I let it pass.
> 
> I saw her again during the elections last year and she had the audacity to make another unsolicited opinion about my shopping and handbags.
> 
> And then recently, I ran into her once again but this time she brought up how she’s been shopping a lot because her new job pays her well. Then later that night she texted me for fashion advices and showed me all these stuff she bought. It almost felt like she was trying to compete when I am not even competing with anyone. I shop because I appreciate beautiful things. I do it for ME with ZERO intentions of competing with anyone. Anyway, I was tempted to turn the tables on her because her hypocrisy was astounding but I’d rather not waste my time on senseless unnecessary drama.



I have questions 
Who is she too you? A random person? How does she have your number.
I would avoid her, she sounds toxic.


----------



## sparklywacky

bergafer3 said:


> I have questions
> Who is she too you? A random person? How does she have your number.
> I would avoid her, she sounds toxic.


She is a former work colleague and we live in the same neighborhood in NYC which is why I always run into her. God forbid I run into her again! Lol.




Sferics said:


> @sparklywacky Some people are so exhaustingly strange...


So true!


----------



## bergafer3

sparklywacky said:


> She is a former work colleague and we live in the same neighborhood in Downtown NYC which is why I always run into her. God forbid I run into her again! Lol.


 Thanks for answering. She sounds like a night terror! I hate running into people like that, it’s the worst.


----------



## 880

sparklywacky said:


> She is a former work colleague and we live in the same neighborhood in NYC which is why I always run into her. God forbid I run into her again! Lol.
> 
> 
> 
> So true!


Agree to avoid if possible.  The last exchange sounds like she is bizarrely trying to emulate you (or what she wrongly thinks would impress you ) or be your friend. On the other hand, things could be worse— she could live in your building !


----------



## ipekkeles

Sferics said:


> I wonder how these "guys there" recognized a reissue at all...what was going on "over there"?
> 
> I don't take my more flashy bags to the office because I make a lot more money than the women there - of course I have different job and therefore I have a different salary but they don't really know backgrounds or the larger context. They have assimilated (on an unconscious level?) that there are jobs for men and jobs for women...they don't get that I do one of those "man-jobs"...and even If they would understand, they would think I would be payed less...because...I'm a woman. I need them to do their jobs with goodwill...so I don't want to rub it in their faces. Sigh.



they wish they knew what a 226 reissue is lol. he didn't name the bag, he asked me "your black bag, the expensive one", if only he knew i have more than one expensive black bag


----------



## Cocomotion

maris.crane said:


> It depends on who it is, though. I had one girl message me privately on the work inbox, as I’d brought in my Marmont camera one day and she was like ‘I love bags but have no one to talk about them with!’.



This happened to me as well  I think it is fun to have at least someone on 'your team'..

Most of my co-workers are oblivious when it comes to luxury items. The ones that recognize them tend to make jealous and snarky comments. But I know it comes from their own insecurity, unhappiness etc. 

I dont like wearing anything flashy (monogram, logos) but I have made a concious effort this past year to tone it down a notch when it comes to work and wearing new items. I try to stick with what they have seen me wear before so no one can get their panties in a bunch.


----------



## sweetpea_2009

Where do people even find the time or energy to notice and be judgemental? I have my own life to steward and things that I have to work on to reach my life goals to worry about what others have. I like this forum because I can share my love of luxury with others and can admire pretty handbags from a distance. When I am at work or out and about if something nice catches my eye I think to myself "that's nice" and move on. How people choose to spend their money is none of my business especially since it doesn't have anything to do with my life.


----------



## monkyjib

atlsweetpea11 said:


> Where do people even find the time or energy to notice and be judgemental? I have my own life to steward and things that I have to work on to reach my life goals to worry about what others have. I like this forum because I can share my love of luxury with others and can admire pretty handbags from a distance. When I am at work or out and about if something nice catches my eye I think to myself "that's nice" and move on. How people choose to spend their money is none of my business especially since it doesn't have anything to do with my life.


Exactly! Couldn’t have said it better.


----------



## monkyjib

sparklywacky said:


> Not sure exactly what to make of this “situation” but wanted to share anyway. So this person (not a friend, not even family) clocked me last summer when she saw me carrying Chanel shopping bags on my way home and was like “it’s so unfair when you are shopping while the rest of the world is going through so much awful things”. Yeah, I am aware of what’s going on - but what she saw was just a tiny detail/part of me that’s trying to “escape” by means of retail therapy. She has no idea what I’ve done to help my community or what I’ve been through last year and for her to judge me based on a TINY detail she’s seen of my life bugged me. But whatever, I let it pass.
> 
> I saw her again during the elections last year and she had the audacity to make another unsolicited opinion about my shopping and handbags.
> 
> And then recently, I ran into her once again but this time she brought up how she’s been shopping a lot because her new job pays her well. Then later that night she texted me for fashion advices and showed me all these stuff she bought. It almost felt like she was trying to compete when I am not even competing with anyone. I shop because I appreciate beautiful things. I do it for ME with ZERO intentions of competing with anyone. Anyway, I was tempted to turn the tables on her because her hypocrisy was astounding but I’d rather not waste my time on senseless unnecessary drama.


I have a friend like this. We have the same group of friends from junior high. She doesn’t say it out loud about her branded things but whenever our group meet up, probably about twice a year, I notice she almost always has something similar, or the same as what I carried to our last meeting. It’s like she’s silently competing!? Who knows...

Another close friend is also acting judgey when I asked her if she could recommend any Chanel SAs when I wanted to buy my first bag (only because I know she loves this brand) She was like “oh is your husband buying for you?” I was like “hmm NO, I have my own money that I earn for myself. Thank you very much!”


----------



## Redenkeew

Freetofly said:


> I've recently had a not very nice encounter with a couple of colleagues at work. One day I went into the office, and there were only a handful of other people in at the same time. I wore my new Chanel coco handle and a senior women in my department came over to ask questions about was it fake, how much was it, when did I get it etc. She went back to her desk and said to her colleague "see I told you it was more than xxx, I would never spend that much on a bag". Then two of them whispered about it back and forth for a while. And this woman carries her LVs to work! I thought she out of anyone else in the office would understand but nope she's just as judgy if not more so.



LOL if that happened to me I'd probably be petty and print this, stick it on my desk and carry even more expensive bags the next few days. I have no patience for small minded people. Live your own sad life and let me live mine.


----------



## slytheringirl

I know I've posted on here before, but I didn't actually answer the question. No, I don't think anyone would be jealous of my bag. Where I live, it's pretty common to see a designer bag even at the local Wal Mart. I haven't worn any of my bags around my family though, so I can't speak about that. I guess it depends on where you live, or where you're visiting.


----------



## lsquare

A lot of people have commented that they will not take their Chanel bags to work. I wonder is it really inappropriate or unprofessional? Or are we just trying to fit in as other coworkers don’t do it?


----------



## Cocomotion

lsquare said:


> A lot of people have commented that they will not take their Chanel bags to work. I wonder is it really inappropriate or unprofessional? Or are we just trying to fit in as other coworkers don’t do it?



Really depends on the line of work (think finance job vs social work) and of course your status at work (starting out as an intern vs executive position).. 

There are so many factors one cant really say what is and isnt 'appropriate'.. I think we can all agree that best would be not to mind others.. but at the same time we have to consider our surroundings, right?


----------



## bisousx

lsquare said:


> A lot of people have commented that they will not take their Chanel bags to work. I wonder is it really inappropriate or unprofessional? Or are we just trying to fit in as other coworkers don’t do it?



I don’t know what I would do tbh (I’m self employed). I would imagine if I was stuck with the same people day in/day out, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking a few precautions to make my days go by as smooth as possible.


----------



## coniglietta

I don't know if others would be jealous of my bags....I definitely don't take my designer bags to work, but I will use my SLGs. I travel by public transportation, walking, or biking so I find it more practical to take a crossbody nylon bag. I don't care if it gets wet or a bit dirty, and it will hold all my essentials plus my lunch. However, whenever I see someone with a designer bag I admire it, especially if the person has a stylishly coordinated outfit. I can appreciate a beautiful bag.

The only person who has ever commented on my designer bags is my mom. She's the only person I've confided in about my love of luxury and we've gone into boutiques together. She gets a bit annoyed sometimes because she tells me to invest my money in my retirement funds (which I have been doing, too). Sometimes she borrows my bags hahaha


----------



## Hakuhaku

I ever only heard comments on my overspending on bags which are too small to fit anything, but luckily no nasty remarks or intentional acts from anyone to damage my bags. Also, designer bags can be widely seen in town where I am, but not so much in smaller neighbourhoods where everyone is more laid back. 

I only purchase bags after a long contemplation of whether I'd use them and if I'd love them. So I don't wear them out to show that I'm more "superior" or better off, I'm just truly happy every time I get to use my bag because I don't really get much chance to go out of the house these days. And of course I do look at people's bags especially if they are nice, who doesn't like nice looking bags! But definitely no jealousy, at most just thinking how to get my hands on one too haha.

That aside. I only bring my small lv bags to work but I do wonder if it might be a bit too much cause I'm rather new/young. Yet at the same time, I also see my more experienced colleagues carrying and wearing luxury items so I don't feel so bad about it afterwards.


----------



## luvmydiego

I let my daughter borrow one of my seasonal flaps for a Vegas trip. Apparently she was harassed by a woman on a tram there who loudly kept insisting it was a fake, and made a scene. I can only imagine it was out of ignorance/jealousy and assuming due to my daughters age. If you have no knowledge of the brand don’t harass people like this. Chanel makes several bags and not all are classic flaps. I was a little offended as well as I have only ever purchased my bags direct.


----------



## Egel

luvmydiego said:


> I let my daughter borrow one of my seasonal flaps for a Vegas trip. Apparently she was harassed by a woman on a tram there who loudly kept insisting it was a fake, and made a scene. I can only imagine it was out of ignorance/jealousy and assuming due to my daughters age. If you have no knowledge of the brand don’t harass people like this. Chanel makes several bags and not all are classic flaps. I was a little offended as well as I have only ever purchased my bags direct.


I always wanted a classic flap but since Corona it's things like these that make me to scared to buy and wear one. I would feel to selfconcious and like I was making a target of myself. I hope your daughter is okay?


----------



## Happyish

Rensera said:


> I had a strange incident last week. My coworker loves bags more than anything and usually talks about them all the time. I stay low key on that and usually carry bags that don't stand out too much, for example Celine. On this day, I had my old Chanel CF in lambskin with me for the first time, as I still had to go to an event in the evening. To my surprise, my coworker said nothing. Not a word, absolute silence. That was fine with me and I thought no more about it. At noon, a fellow coworker came by, complimented me on the bag and took a closer look at it. Then my bag loving coworker said, without looking up from her documents: "The bag is fake". I was completely speechless for a moment and just said "Eh.... no????".


Probably best to say something vague.  
Years ago I was at a gas station, filling up my car. Someone looked at my wrist, noticed my ginormous bracelet, and asked, "is that real gold?" I was a little alarmed. In the moment, I usually can't think of anything to say, but this time came up with a great response---"It looks like it doesn't it?"
You know it isn't counterfeit and that's what counts. Who needs that kind of negative attention? I would not want to validate its' authenticity to someone so obviously envious/jealous.


----------



## Happyish

sparklywacky said:


> Not sure exactly what to make of this “situation” but wanted to share anyway. So this person (not a friend, not even family) clocked me last summer when she saw me carrying Chanel shopping bags on my way home and was like “it’s so unfair when you are shopping while the rest of the world is going through so much awful things”. Yeah, I am aware of what’s going on - but what she saw was just a tiny detail/part of me that’s trying to “escape” by means of retail therapy. She has no idea what I’ve done to help my community or what I’ve been through last year and for her to judge me based on a TINY detail she’s seen of my life bugged me. But whatever, I let it pass.
> 
> I saw her again during the elections last year and she had the audacity to make another unsolicited opinion about my shopping and handbags.
> 
> And then recently, I ran into her once again but this time she brought up how she’s been shopping a lot because her new job pays her well. Then later that night she texted me for fashion advices and showed me all these stuff she bought. It almost felt like she was trying to compete when I am not even competing with anyone. I shop because I appreciate beautiful things. I do it for ME with ZERO intentions of competing with anyone. Anyway, I was tempted to turn the tables on her because her hypocrisy was astounding but I’d rather not waste my time on senseless unnecessary drama.


How awful! She clearly identifies with and admires you. Notwithstanding, this sounds a little stalkerish . . . How does she have your number? Is changing it an option?
People make snap judgments based on appearances. It is so unfortunate. As you mention, she has no idea of who you are and what you've done for your community.
I had a neighbor who once saw me with a Barney's shopping bag and commented "I wish I could shop there . . . " she didn't even know what was in the bag--it could have had my laundry for all she knew!
After that, however, I would either leave my purchases in the car and bring them into the house at night, or transfer the purchases to a plain shopping bag. I didn't want to attract any additional attention.
Now, in my community, since Covid there's been an increase in crime. As a result, some of the better stores are using plain white shopping bags to avoid undue attention. It might be something to think about.


----------



## Happyish

Freetofly said:


> I've recently had a not very nice encounter with a couple of colleagues at work. One day I went into the office, and there were only a handful of other people in at the same time. I wore my new Chanel coco handle and a senior women in my department came over to ask questions about was it fake, how much was it, when did I get it etc. She went back to her desk and said to her colleague "see I told you it was more than xxx, I would never spend that much on a bag". Then two of them whispered about it back and forth for a while. And this woman carries her LVs to work! I thought she out of anyone else in the office would understand but nope she's just as judgy if not more so.


She's not just judgey, she's obviously competitive, and jealous. When people ask me about price, I just say I don't remember--I bought it b/c I liked it. And usually I don't remember--if I liked it, and could afford it, I bought it.


----------



## zibeline91

I recevied a Classic chanel bag for my birthday ( my 40 !) few years ago. My mother in law asked me what was my birthday gift :i’ve just said a bag. ( i know she is a jealous person)
my husband said proudly « show her ! ».
When she saw it :  « oh…a Chanel…don’t like it ! » 

ok…who ask you ?


----------



## EpiFanatic

zibeline91 said:


> I recevied a Classic chanel bag for my birthday ( my 40 !) few years ago. My mother in law asked me what was my birthday gift :i’ve just said a bag. ( i know she is a jealous person)
> my husband said proudly « show her ! ».
> When she saw it :  « oh…a Chanel…don’t like it ! »
> 
> ok…who ask you ?


Wow.  How about:
Well thank goodness I got this instead of you.


----------



## lunasauntie

This is all so interesting. I work in an industry where the high-end bags are revered and people try to show up at work conferences with the most luxe bags. But maybe it’s because it’s medical aesthetics and my customers are plastic surgeons and dermatologists and everyone wants to “fit in” with their customers by carrying the same bags. So it’s the opposite if anything - having a nice bag induces a great conversation (maybe even helps you bond with customers) and no one is jealous of anyone else…inspired is more like it.


----------



## natjyl

I have recently gotten into luxury bags - and recently purchased a Chanel WOC (my first Chanel). Previously when I didn't own any I'm glad to say I've never openly commented or acted on someone who has, of course I've definitely thought "wow she must be well off" - when it was obvious that they were well off of course from me knowing them in a social circle but I can't imagine people can be so malicious to ACT and try to sabotage your bag! 
Making comments about fake bags is SO unnecessary, there's people trolling on Luxury resale groups all the time as well insisting on creating drama by accusing bags are fake.. It's like people don't have anything better to do with their time. 
As someone in my mid-late 20s, I am very blessed and grateful to say I'm in a financially secure place to be able to purchase these luxury bags at the moment. When someone has made comments like "omg you're so rich" "omg you can buy ME a bag" as backhanded comments I normally respond with "No, I just know how to budget" - which is true. I don't drink and go out to fancy places often, I don't go clubbing compared to majority of my friends. 
It's honestly sad that there's horrible people out there.


----------



## APhiJill

I have some trifling jealous extended family members who made snide remarks saying my bags are fake, etc. I’ve NEVER carried a knock off…
l was like “trick, I have the receipts“
i just know that haters are gonna hate…don’t waste your energy.

I carry designer bags to work, although I work for Target…thankfully, I have never had anyone sweat me


----------



## GirlAndBag

APhiJill said:


> I have some trifling jealous extended family members who made snide remarks saying my bags are fake, etc. I’ve NEVER carried a knock off…
> l was like “trick, I have the receipts“
> i just know that haters are gonna hate…don’t waste your energy.
> 
> I carry designer bags to work, although I work for Target…thankfully, I have never had anyone sweat me



It's true that haters are gonna hate!
I don't get much from my own family who knows me well,  I simply love shopping, but a variety as I match my items to my outfit. Also, I spend within my own means. 

As for the in-laws side , its a different story. I often get side-eyed, or the SIL nudging her other half while pointing at my bag/s. If I turn up in a nice outfit for extended family celebrations, I get questioned on how much it cost . 
P.s I don't own much designer clothes or clothes with brands splashed on the front chest either


----------



## axlm

Not jealous, but I have had judgement from people (some family), but the funny thing is, which I don't point out, is that they spend much more than me on expensive cars, tech.. etc..


----------



## mosare

I never wear obvious luxury items to work except for my winter Parker because it’s normal to splurge on one here. I have never really noticed people staring at my items in public. If I catch people staring at me, it’s about other things concerning my general appearance.

When my luxury bags or shoes are visible in social media posts or in group hangout settings is when I get a few snarky comments. Usually it’s people trying to figure out how I can afford it (I’m extremely private about my career and money). I had one person ask to see my collection and it was very clear they had the intent to see if I had more or less than them. I did not show them my collection. I always throw the questions/comments back. I respond asking the same question or turn the comment into a question while facetiously laughing and then awkward staring until they change the subject because they realize I’m not going to answer. I don’t think it comes from a place of jealously with me but rather this persistent notion that people who present the way I do are underserving of luxury. Not my problem so I don’t feed into it by even trying to justify or verify my things to others. What I spend on luxury is between me, my FA and my guardian angel who must be stressed every time I swipe my card.


----------



## purpledress

I get comments where the undertone is that I can have these (poor) priorities because I don't have kids. "You will understand when you have kids. Your priorities will change."

There's nothing for me to say because these comments usually come from people earning more than I do, with more "life experience" than I.
They tell me it's a waste of money. I wish I could tell them I think stuff they spend on their kids is a waste. But what do I know? I'm just a naive childless person with a selfish world view.


----------



## ManyMoons

axlm said:


> Not jealous, but I have had judgement from people (some family), but the funny thing is, which I don't point out, is that they spend much more than me on expensive cars, tech.. etc..


All around. Some of my family included. Driving luxury cars, traveling, paying for help cleaning/organizing homes, HUNDREDS of shoes,TONS of foods/cheeses/fruit rotting and thrown away/bought in excess but they see an LV and “Oh, you are that kind of girl..” or “ I was never into labels.”

I worry about them and never wear Chanel around. They might have a self induced heart attack. There’re a lot of them with the “log” in the eye but pointing out a speck in somebody else’s eye.


----------



## OCMomof3

My parents never make any negative comments about my bags, but I know they think it's ridiculous. However, with the amount of money they have spent decorating multiple homes at a very high level, buying expensive cars, and vacationing all around the world, I know they are not afraid to spend the money they have. They simply have no appetite for designer goods, and that's fine. There are many people with huge resources who have no interest in it.  I wish I was that way, lol!


----------



## Kitties Are Cute

purpledress said:


> I get comments where the undertone is that I can have these (poor) priorities because I don't have kids. "You will understand when you have kids. Your priorities will change."
> 
> There's nothing for me to say because these comments usually come from people earning more than I do, with more "life experience" than I.
> They tell me it's a waste of money. I wish I could tell them I think stuff they spend on their kids is a waste. But what do I know? I'm just a naive childless person with a selfish world view.


I hate those people with kids who think they know better than people without kids, and everything else is trivial compared to whatever they deal with for their kids. MAJOR eye roll.


----------



## miasanmoni

Happyish said:


> Probably best to say something vague.
> Years ago I was at a gas station, filling up my car. Someone looked at my wrist, noticed my ginormous bracelet, and asked, "is that real gold?" I was a little alarmed. In the moment, I usually can't think of anything to say, but this time came up with a great response---"It looks like it doesn't it?"
> You know it isn't counterfeit and that's what counts. Who needs that kind of negative attention? I would not want to validate its' authenticity to someone so obviously envious/jealous.



my parents have always told me this too, just lie, a close friend of theirs stayed with us and took advantage because of how she saw my mom lived and dressed-not realizing my mom just saved because she loves bags so much.


----------



## ashin121

purpledress said:


> I get comments where the undertone is that I can have these (poor) priorities because I don't have kids. "You will understand when you have kids. Your priorities will change."
> 
> There's nothing for me to say because these comments usually come from people earning more than I do, with more "life experience" than I.
> They tell me it's a waste of money. I wish I could tell them I think stuff they spend on their kids is a waste. But what do I know? I'm just a naive childless person with a selfish world view.





Kitties Are Cute said:


> I hate those people with kids who think they know better than people without kids, and everything else is trivial compared to whatever they deal with for their kids. MAJOR eye roll.



That's horrible. People with or without kids should just keep their comments to themselves and just live their own life the way they want. 

Before kids, I told my husband that I had to buy all my bags now before I can't because of kids...then the kids came...and here I am still buying chanel. Hahaha. 

If you can afford it, who cares if you're with or without kids. I'm sorry you get comments like that. Ignore those people.


----------



## EpiFanatic

purpledress said:


> I get comments where the undertone is that I can have these (poor) priorities because I don't have kids. "You will understand when you have kids. Your priorities will change."
> 
> There's nothing for me to say because these comments usually come from people earning more than I do, with more "life experience" than I.
> They tell me it's a waste of money. I wish I could tell them I think stuff they spend on their kids is a waste. But what do I know? I'm just a naive childless person with a selfish world view.


I have kids and that response annoys the $hit out of me.
How about:
Oh, that's good advice.  I'd better enjoy my life now while I still can.


----------



## purpledress

EpiFanatic said:


> I have kids and that response annoys the $hit out of me.
> How about:
> Oh, that's good advice.  I'd better enjoy my life now while I still can.



Haha yeah that's the only thing to really respond with isn't it! I might be projecting different issues, but you have to wonder what the point is of making people feel bad? So what if I *am* filling the void of my meaningless life with a luxury bag? Way to be horrible about it!


----------



## ashin121

EpiFanatic said:


> I have kids and that response annoys the $hit out of me.
> How about:
> Oh, that's good advice.  I'd better enjoy my life now while I still can.


Haha one of my married friends gave me a similar advice before I got married.  She said, if you like bags, buy all the bags you can now.  If you like shoes, buy all the shoes you can now.  Once you get married, even though your fiance may say it's ok because you make your own money.... it'll change a bit when you do get married.  Then they gave me the same advice pre-kids. 
So I bought bags before and after marriage and then also before and after kids. Lol


----------



## EpiFanatic

purpledress said:


> Haha yeah that's the only thing to really respond with isn't it! I might be projecting different issues, but you have to wonder what the point is of making people feel bad? So what if I *am* filling the void of my meaningless life with a luxury bag? Way to be horrible about it!


Your money and you don't owe any explanations to anyone.  You have nothing to feel badly about.   It's all just a matter of perspective isn't it?  I have kids (19 and 16) and I've wondered before and after, "What the hell was I thinking?" after the fifth night of having 3 combined hours of sleep and understanding why sleep deprivation is considered torture.  Moral superiority is just self delusional and hypocritical.


----------



## doraepeet

yes, of course, especially this one


----------



## Lady Stardust

I don’t think I’ve ever had any comments or moments with strangers (that I’ve noticed!) but I do have one friend who gives my bags the DIRTIEST looks lol she’s never flat out said anything but we’ve been friends since we were 7, she doesn’t have to, I can tell by her looks what she’s thinking.

 I remember one time she was going to Paris and made a big stink about how she was going to buy a Chanel and I said nothing but was like “boy are you in for a surprise, they’re not $300…”. She came home without one and to this day glares at mine with a frown whenever I use them.  I just ignore it!


----------



## september1985

I’ve been getting the kid comment since before I had my daughter -and here she is  along with all of the other things that bring me happiness. This from my husband’s friend’s long term gf who has been telling me she has rainbow classic flap and matching sneakers since like 2017, which I’ve never seen her wear nor did that combo bag exist in a non-exotic leather at the time.


----------



## lsquare

Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when people stare at my purse, especially females way above my pay grade at work. It is hard to tell if they are admiring the purse or just judging me.


----------



## doraepeet

Lady Stardust said:


> I don’t think I’ve ever had any comments or moments with strangers (that I’ve noticed!) but I do have one friend who gives my bags the DIRTIEST looks lol she’s never flat out said anything but we’ve been friends since we were 7, she doesn’t have to, I can tell by her looks what she’s thinking.
> 
> I remember one time she was going to Paris and made a big stink about how she was going to buy a Chanel and I said nothing but was like “boy are you in for a surprise, they’re not $300…”. She came home without one and to this day glares at mine with a frown whenever I use them.  I just ignore it!


I wonder how you two still be friends.


----------



## ashin121

lsquare said:


> Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when people stare at my purse, especially females way above my pay grade at work. It is hard to tell if they are admiring the purse or just judging me.


I'm going to give them a benefit of a doubt and say they are admiring it 

Whenever I see someone with a nice purse, I double take and stare but it's with admiration. If they see me looking , I usually smile and say I love their purse. I usually get a huge smile back.


----------



## bernpl

I have had relatives look at my purse and even kind ask if they can try it on at family gatherings. I know they like it, lol. One of my cousins will then say later I don’t really like Chanel bags. Hmmm, why take interest in it then if you don’t like it. Or why make negative comments.

I have friends of friends who will make litle comments like what’s up with all the designer purses as if judging or one girl has said to me randomly aren’t you scared someone will snatch it from yo; I would never wear a Chanel.


----------



## theposhkat

I have a coworker who always comments on my designer bags with disdain. Then proceeds to make me feel bad for being able to afford it. But in reality I just save up money to buy it, I enjoy treating myself. I know she’s capable of buying one herself but I feel like she just rather complain.


----------



## 880

i don’t think people notice mine (and I already posted that), but I just wanted to say, to subsequent posters that im not sure that I could be friends who were angry or resentful of something I had.  DH and I have worked hard for what we have. We like to shop. Other friends collect wine, jewelry, something else. To each her own


----------



## LindyLindy

880 said:


> Other friends collect wine, jewelry, something else. To each her own



Exactly.  When anyone comments negatively about the price of my handbags I remind them that I don't wear jewellery like most women do.  (The person is usually sporting a massive diamond).  To each their own.


----------



## Tyler_JP

Overall, no - but I've definitely had some family members and acquaintances/co-workers make snide remarks. Whether or not that stems from jealousy... I'm not sure.


----------



## serybrazil

I get a lot of haters who always say “I could never justify spending x $$ amount on a bag!”


----------



## purpledress

serybrazil said:


> I get a lot of haters who always say “I could never justify spending x $$ amount on a bag!”


Haha yep! That has to be one of the most repeated lines I get too. Followed by "It's a waste of money", "I'm glad I don't care about designer bags", and "I'd rather spend the money on [X] for my kids."

The subtext is quite rude but they don't realise they're being judgy at all.


----------



## corgi204

purpledress said:


> Haha yep! That has to be one of the most repeated lines I get too. Followed by "It's a waste of money", "I'm glad I don't care about designer bags", and "I'd rather spend the money on [X] for my kids."
> 
> The subtext is quite rude but they don't realise they're being judgy at all.



My mom (who is an avid collector of LV handbags and now is kinda getting into Chanel) sometimes gets this or "I rather spend money on travel" and she asks why they're mutually exclusive - she travels a lot, made sure my needs (material and emotional) were taken care of when I was growing up, donates to charities, and buys herself handbags with no debt. For reference, I'm in my late 20s now. That pretty much shuts them down lol


----------



## Lula5

I have a couple friends who are jealous, but they openly admit it rather than making annoying passive aggressive comments. I am just thankful my parents have no idea how much these bags cost because they would probably have a heart attack!


----------



## lulilu

I once had a coworker loudly admire my bag.  I do think she was sincere, but that was the last time I carried it to work.

It's so rude to ask, I would never answer how much something costs.  Change the subject or ask why they want to know.  Direct them to the mall to purchase one.


----------



## Tuned83

It's so disappointing when people feel the need to comment. Not your thing fine but it's mine and that's fine too. I read a thread on another forum recently that really riled me. The main assumption being that those who carry Chanel have low self esteem, carry fakes and r naff. I personally thought jealousy was the main driver of opinions but I may be wrong. It was mean spirited and judgemental. If this is how strangers I see view me that's on them. It's not changed my handbag carrying habits as I ultimately don't care but I do wish people who be less judgy.


----------



## hillsidegirl

This whole thread reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City…Carrie goes to a party where the hostess asks the guests to remove their shoes and leave them at the door, which Carrie does. But when she’s ready to leave, her Manolo Blahniks are gone. Eventually the hostess offers to pay her for them, but when Carrie says they cost $400 (obviously this was many years ago! Lol), the hostess scoffs and proceeds to shoe shame her, essentially criticizing her for her wastefulness and her irrational priorities. The entire episode is at least in part centered on Carrie defending herself and championing her choices. The screenwriter for the episode, Jenny Bicks, was quoted in a subsequent interview about that episode - “You are seeing more and more women making different kinds of choices and being rewarded for that. Women are owning that they're wealthy and that they can do whatever the hell they want.” She’s spot on. So while I may have some friends who will never appreciate the concept of a finely curated luxury bag collection, I have other friends that fully participate and we love swapping stories about our latest fabulous finds. Certain friends fill different roles in my life, but I will say, I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with my fellow bag collecting friends...and as the SATC writer said, we can do whatever the hell we want!


----------



## axlm

hillsidegirl said:


> This whole thread reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City…Carrie goes to a party where the hostess asks the guests to remove their shoes and leave them at the door, which Carrie does. But when she’s ready to leave, her Manolo Blahniks are gone. Eventually the hostess offers to pay her for them, but when Carrie says they cost $400 (obviously this was many years ago! Lol), the hostess scoffs and proceeds to shoe shame her, essentially criticizing her for her wastefulness and her irrational priorities. The entire episode is at least in part centered on Carrie defending herself and championing her choices. The screenwriter for the episode, Jenny Bicks, was quoted in a subsequent interview about that episode - “You are seeing more and more women making different kinds of choices and being rewarded for that. Women are owning that they're wealthy and that they can do whatever the hell they want.” She’s spot on. So while I may have some friends who will never appreciate the concept of a finely curated luxury bag collection, I have other friends that fully participate and we love swapping stories about our latest fabulous finds. Certain friends fill different roles in my life, but I will say, I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with my fellow bag collecting friends...and as the SATC writer said, we can do whatever the hell we want!



Agreed! I find it worse as a younger(ish) woman to be honest (early 30s). Sometimes the tone people have commented on my things in the past has left me feeling like I'm doing something wrong by owning expensive items (that I have bought with my own money), like I'm a naughty child or something. It's really irritating.


----------



## LemonDrop

A co worker makes the exact same money that I do. I know because we are union paid. I mentioned during conversation about going to a boutique. I didn’t know her and was trying to make casual, down time at work, get to know you chit chat.   I’m sure she has interests too. At the end of the work day she tipped over her large tote bag and toilet paper rolls spilled out. She was stealing tp from our job. She says to me “look at me stealing for my kids while you shop at boutiques”. 

Made me feel so awkward and bad for simply having casual conversation with her. Makes me not want to talk about myself much anymore.


----------



## mochibabu

I wouldn't say people get jealous of my bags but they are quick to draw assumptions and judgements of my hobby. They think I am loaded, have unlimited money, wasteful with money , so insecure with myself that I need to buy such an "expensive handbag"... the list goes on and on. Hence why I like to share my hobby with people that are like minded and understand that it is not necessarily the case.


----------



## Sunshine mama

LemonDrop said:


> A co worker makes the exact same money that I do. I know because we are union paid. I mentioned during conversation about going to a boutique. I didn’t know her and was trying to make casual, down time at work, get to know you chit chat.   I’m sure she has interests too. At the end of the work day she tipped over her large tote bag and toilet paper rolls spilled out. She was stealing tp from our job. She says to me “look at me stealing for my kids while you shop at boutiques”.
> 
> Made me feel so awkward and bad for simply having casual conversation with her. Makes me not want to talk about myself much anymore.


Was she  blaming you for her bad actions? Such bad boundary and blame shifting!
I mean what does your choice of bag have to do with her TP stealing???  Such illogic!!!


----------



## Sunshine mama

pamelastanlee said:


> I wouldn't say people get jealous of my bags but they are quick to draw assumptions and judgements of my hobby. They think I am loaded, have unlimited money, wasteful with money , so insecure with myself that I need to buy such an "expensive handbag"... the list goes on and on. Hence why I like to share my hobby with people that are like minded and understand that it is not necessarily the case.


So with this logic,  everyone with anything expensive is insecure?


----------



## Pursecake

My office is located in yorkville in Toronto so I am very lucky that I don’t get any negative experiences on wearing nice bags! Everyone there wears one and if they don’t no one cares either 

as for family, they don’t know much about luxury bags it’s kind of a thing I share with my cousin and friends.


----------



## 880

I’m appalled at the tone of some of these stories every time I read this thread; I don’t think I could have handled any of these negative responses from family and friends half as well as all of you above. Like @Pursecake, I’m glad not to have experienced these reactions


----------



## purpledress

theposhkat said:


> I have a coworker who always comments on my designer bags with disdain. Then proceeds to make me feel bad for being able to afford it. But in reality I just save up money to buy it, I enjoy treating myself. I know she’s capable of buying one herself but I feel like she just rather complain.



Why is she so bitter that she can't handle you being happy? Sounds like she won't be satisfied until you're as miserable as her. What does your purse have to do with her??


----------



## purpledress

LemonDrop said:


> A co worker makes the exact same money that I do. I know because we are union paid. I mentioned during conversation about going to a boutique. I didn’t know her and was trying to make casual, down time at work, get to know you chit chat.   I’m sure she has interests too. At the end of the work day she tipped over her large tote bag and toilet paper rolls spilled out. She was stealing tp from our job. She says to me “look at me stealing for my kids while you shop at boutiques”.
> 
> Made me feel so awkward and bad for simply having casual conversation with her. Makes me not want to talk about myself much anymore.



She could have a ton of medical bills and debt. Who knows what's going on in her personal life. I just feel sorry for this person since they feel they need to steal toilet paper. That is really sad. They probably just said what they said because you caught them and they're embarrassed


----------



## lovesbmw

Love This Forum, Everyone Loves Nice things, And We All Work hard For Everything We Have, I"m Never Jealous of Anyone, Just Loving That They Have Nice Things. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone


----------



## BlueCherry

No one should have to justify any of their choices in life, it’s their business alone how they live it. However I was always careful using my designer bags in front of family. Particularly those who haven’t succeeded as well financially through no fault of their own. My sister would always comment “ ooh that’s a nice bag” and pick it up and admire it. I admit that I used to squirm with just a little bit of embarrassment I guess as it wasn’t until lockdown that she actually had a good amount of savings that were disposable.

So I offered to buy her a mulberry bag which I thought was a gorgeous safe bet between contemporary and high end designer. I was gobsmacked when she said I’ll stick with my Ted Baker bags because I will always throw my bag around and I will always put it on the floor so don’t waste your money.

I did indeed buy her a new Ted Baker bag that she loves and I snuck in an Aspinal pouch and a Longchamp French purse. She loves everything.

And with that beautiful attitude anyone else who wants to judge can take a running jump.


----------



## electricbluerita

I get looks, but I don't want to assume they are jealous. They could be jealous, they could be wondering if it's real or not, they could be admiring the bag, or even thinking "One day I'm gonna have a Chanel, too! She must work really hard."

Unspoken jealousy wouldn't affect me -- I don't _know_, so I don't feel. The pondering of authenticity -- Not offended. If you know, you know.

In general, men come up to me more than women to say something nice about my bags. I don't think they are necessarily trying to chat me up, but certain men have an eye and do enjoy these things. I've had an older gentleman say that his wife would love my bag! So sweet. (I want to find one of him hehe, a man looking out for me!  )

Nobody has ever voiced their jealousy to me, and none of my friends would -- my dearest friend does not earn as much as I do and her dream was an LV Neverfull in Damier Ebene. So, as soon as I graduated from college and found myself a job, I bought it for her within the year. I think I am seconding @BlueCherry 's point here. But even if I didn't buy my friends nice things, they still wouldn't be jealous in the sense that they would want to make me feel bad about a certain thing. I don't have friends of that nature.

Anyway, my eyebrows are very pointy and when I give the stare, it's real, so I think no one would dare. May look sweet in profile and that's my usual state, but the witchy eyes come out when required. LOL.


----------



## hmily223

I have jealous ppl around me, but who cares what they think, they only see the results and never had a second thoughts about I work hard for my things. I only buy things that I can afford and never go over my limits.


----------



## KittyCattt

Happyish said:


> Probably best to say something vague.
> Years ago I was at a gas station, filling up my car. Someone looked at my wrist, noticed my ginormous bracelet, and asked, "is that real gold?" I was a little alarmed. In the moment, I usually can't think of anything to say, but this time came up with a great response---"It looks like it doesn't it?"
> You know it isn't counterfeit and that's what counts. Who needs that kind of negative attention? I would not want to validate its' authenticity to someone so obviously envious/jealous.


I know you posted a while ago but I just came across it now. What a brilliant response!! I just told my hubby I'll be doing that moving forward and not to burst my lie when the time comes


----------



## ElisaAnna

not jealous they just think I’m nuts for spending so much money on bags


----------



## Happyish

ElisaAnna said:


> not jealous they just think I’m nuts for spending so much money on bags


Yes, there is that too. The unspoken criticism/disapproval.


----------



## Sunshine mama

I decided that if a stranger asks if the bag(or anything else) is real, I am going to say no.
Two main reasons: 
First, it's due to stranger danger. I don't know this person's motives for asking. There are too many dangerous possible situations that could be involved.  
Second,  these asking people could just be the annoying types.


----------



## Happyish

Sunshine mama said:


> I decided that if a stranger asks if the bag(or anything else) is real, I am going to say no.
> Two main reasons:
> First, it's due to stranger danger. I don't know this person's motives for asking. There are too many dangerous possible situations that could be involved.
> Second,  these asking people could just be the annoying types.


I think that's smart. It's a terrible question and if answered truthfully, puts you in a very vulnerable position. As you mention, this is a stranger, and who knows what their motives are.
Now, if someone asks if something's real, my response is to smile and say, "It looks like it, doesn't it?"


----------



## Sunshine mama

Happyish said:


> Yes, there is that too. The unspoken criticism/disapproval.


But just to be fair,  TBTH, I sometimes judge others *silently* for their choice of using their money. 
For example, I judge people who buy ATVs for their young children. I think it's so dangerous. I know an adult who got thrown off and broke his ribs.  I also judge people who take small children to disease infested lakes for water skiing. And etc, etc.
So I guess they can judge me as long as they are also *silent* about it.


----------



## Sunshine mama

Happyish said:


> I think that's smart. It's a terrible question and if answered truthfully, puts you in a very vulnerable position. As you mention, this is a stranger, and who knows what their motives are.
> Now, if someone asks if something's real, my response is to smile and say, *"It looks like it, doesn't it?"*


I've unfortunately had to use this line once to a nosy family member. She then said that she saw fakes  *just like it *everywhere. It was a HTF  bag, but apparently, she saw the fakes everywhere. LOL.


----------



## Christofle

The only time time I can remember getting annoying comments (not sure if they count as jealously) was while shopping at Winners (canadian equivalent to Marshalls) and the woman kept asking me where I got the bag. (Despite telling her where the boutique was)

I suppose it was like the handbag version of “but where are you really really from?”.


----------



## Sferics

Sunshine mama said:


> It was a HTF  bag



Sorry for the dumb question, but what does HTF mean?


----------



## Sunshine mama

Sferics said:


> Sorry for the dumb question, but what does HTF mean?


It was a hard to find bag.


----------



## Sferics

Sunshine mama said:


> It was a hard to find bag.


Thank you!


----------



## jaskg144

A few people have put it across in a way that I 'spend too much' and that it's a waste of money. 

I remember just after I got married, I left my handbag on the sofa at my in-law's house and went into another room - when we left in the evening, my FIL send my husband a picture of my MIL wearing my bag, he'd told her to pose with it because it was an 'expensive bag' - it kind of felt like they were mocking me because it was done behind my back and not mentioned to me, but I don't know    I never mentioned it to them because it made me feel a little odd.


----------



## mariatd

jasmynh1 said:


> I remember just after I got married, I left my handbag on the sofa at my in-law's house and went into another room - when we left in the evening, my FIL send my husband a picture of my MIL wearing my bag, he'd told her to pose with it because it was an 'expensive bag' - it kind of felt like they were mocking me because it was done behind my back and not mentioned to me, but I don't know    I never mentioned it to them because it made me feel a little odd.



I don’t know their intentions, but I would totally take it as a compliment.


----------



## BettyLouboo

jasmynh1 said:


> A few people have put it across in a way that I 'spend too much' and that it's a waste of money.
> 
> I remember just after I got married, I left my handbag on the sofa at my in-law's house and went into another room - when we left in the evening, my FIL send my husband a picture of my MIL wearing my bag, he'd told her to pose with it because it was an 'expensive bag' - it kind of felt like they were mocking me because it was done behind my back and not mentioned to me, but I don't know    I never mentioned it to them because it made me feel a little odd.


Unless you are really close with your in-laws, I personally would've been taken aback by something like that.  Not about mocking (which I don't think was the intention) but I just wouldn't touch anyone's handbag, let alone pose in photos with it unless it was my mom's or sister's.


----------



## Happyish

BettyLouboo said:


> Unless you are really close with your in-laws, I personally would've been taken aback by something like that.  Not about mocking (which I don't think was the intention) but I just wouldn't touch anyone's handbag, let alone pose in photos with it unless it was my mom's or sister's.


And asked permission first . . . 
Don't know what her intention may have been, but I too would have felt uncomfortable-basically because I would not have understood why the photo and what they were trying to convey.


----------



## applesauceman

I haven’t seen anyone get jealous about it, but occasionally I get jealous of the beautiful bags I see! But, on another note, I found someone on Instagram posing with fakes. She blocked me when I asked her about it.


----------



## mliLV

I really like this thread, I too have felt judgement from colleagues at work. Questions asking me how much certain items are...Then making comments like "I would never spend that amount of money." Now it makes me self conscious to use my luxury items. (handbags, shawls, etc.)

My best friend tells me that I have the right to wear whatever I want, but those comments do get to me.


----------



## axlm

mliLV said:


> I really like this thread, I too have felt judgement from colleagues at work. Questions asking me how much certain items are...Then making comments like "I would never spend that amount of money." Now it makes me self conscious to use my luxury items. (handbags, shawls, etc.)
> 
> My best friend tells me that I have the right to wear whatever I want, but those comments do get to me.



It's annoying, I have even lied and said it's borrowed from my mum about some things lol


----------



## mliLV

axlm said:


> It's annoying, I have even lied and said it's borrowed from my mum about some things lol


The lengths that we have to go to! lol


----------



## 880

axlm said:


> It's annoying, I have even lied and said it's borrowed from my mum about some things lol


ive done this. Usually when my MIL asks. I don’t think it’s really a lie bc my mom and I borrow stuff all the time (though ahe typically borrows from me) come to think of it, when she asked where my unlogoed dior sweatpants were from, I said a small boutique in midtown, which is the truth. its not like she is asking bc she wants a pair; more like she is making conversation.


----------



## BettyLouboo

mliLV said:


> I really like this thread, I too have felt judgement from colleagues at work. Questions asking me how much certain items are...Then making comments like "I would never spend that amount of money." Now it makes me self conscious to use my luxury items. (handbags, shawls, etc.)
> 
> My best friend tells me that I have the right to wear whatever I want, but those comments do get to me.


This reminds me of a similar incident I had with a work colleague too that loved a bag I was carrying. Asked me how much it was in front of other colleagues, only to look stunned and respond with a “wow ..but it’s just a bag. Why would spend that much on just a bag?” She put me on the spot and I had nothing to respond with so I just walked away with an awkward shrug.  She definitely made me feel like a right idiot in front of others which I didn’t appreciate at all


----------



## yinyin1288

BettyLouboo said:


> This reminds me of a similar incident I had with a work colleague too that loved a bag I was carrying. Asked me how much it was in front of other colleagues, only to look stunned and respond with a “wow ..but it’s just a bag. Why would spend that much on just a bag?” She put me on the spot and I had nothing to respond with so I just walked away with an awkward shrug.  She definitely made me feel like a right idiot in front of others which I didn’t appreciate at all



“Because I like it and I can”


----------



## dove221

I purposely try not to take my higher end bags to the office. My last job I had taken a small Gucci camera bag a few times. One day, my boss noticed and made all sorts of comments about how expensive Gucci is. Which is nuts, because she was making more than enough to buy herself one or more. So, I would only carry in my Longchamp or Tory Burch bags in, so I didn't have to hear her. One time I was wearing a pair of Quay sunglasses and she commented about how "damn expensive" my sunglasses were. I had to tell her they were $40 to correct her stupid misconceptions. 

My current job, I went in for the first time with a YSL bag and Gucci Princetowns and all the younger girls were commenting. I find it really weird. Some of them are literally 20+ years younger than me. The other issue is that I live in Northern California where no one dresses up and the majority of folks here spend money on homes and Teslas. So when someone actually buys nice things, people feel the need to comment.

No one needs to worry about who spends their money on what. It should not be of anyone's concern. Some of us have had to work most of our entire lives to be able to buy nice things. If you like something someone has or is wearing- compliment them or keep your mouth shut. If it bothers you so much, go buy it yourself and solve your problem. No need to hate.


----------



## mariatd

dove221 said:


> I purposely try not to take my higher end bags to the office. My last job I had taken a small Gucci camera bag a few times. One day, my boss noticed and made all sorts of comments about how expensive Gucci is. Which is nuts, because she was making more than enough to buy herself one or more. So, I would only carry in my Longchamp or Tory Burch bags in, so I didn't have to hear her. One time I was wearing a pair of Quay sunglasses and she commented about how "damn expensive" my sunglasses were. I had to tell her they were $40 to correct her stupid misconceptions.
> 
> No one needs to worry about who spends their money on what. It should not be of anyone's concern. Some of us have had to work most of our entire lives to be able to buy nice things. If you like something someone has or is wearing- compliment them or keep your mouth shut. If it bothers you so much, go buy it yourself and solve your problem. No need to hate.



Same.  I only bring my expensive bags into the office when I know they'll stay in my personal office under my desk.  When we have offsite meetings, where we are all in a big room, I bring other bags.  I recently brought a Kurt Geiger bag to one of those events and several people commented on my beautiful bag and that it must have been expensive and I just tell them 'Nordstrom Anniversary Sale'. Then one of them went on and on about how she wants a fake Gucci bag.  Since a Gucci bag is sooo expensive, she wants one from the many NYC street sellers as spending this much money on a bag is crazy.  I didn't say a word, just smiled politely.  This person is a top level executive and makes about $500k a year.  I don't care what she spends her money on, but I wouldn't diss it either.

I have a friend who doesn't know about my bags.  But she does know about my other 'habit' of buying original art pieces.  She often comments on how she thinks it's crazy to spend that much on a painting and she'd rather go on a vacation instead.  Well, I do go on vacation too, but just don't have the time to go  as often and as long as she does.  Nonetheless, at the end of my vacation, I'm back home.  But looking at my painting on my wall makes my heart sing every time I look at it.  Same with my bags.  I can only wear one at a time, but they still make my heart smile when I see them in my closet 

Finally, I interviewed a new staff member and she brought in a LV bag to the interview.  I knew right away she was my kind of people


----------



## Pursecake

I don't wear nice bags to work either. I always get a comment and when I tell them they can totally afford it they always use their kids as an excuse for being the money sinks.  Sure they are but you CHOSE that life so don't sass me for living my best life without kids and nice handbags thanks.


----------



## sweetpea_2009

dove221 said:


> No one needs to worry about who spends their money on what. It should not be of anyone's concern. Some of us have had to work most of our entire lives to be able to buy nice things. If you like something someone has or is wearing- compliment them or keep your mouth shut. If it bothers you so much, go buy it yourself and solve your problem. No need to hate.



Spot on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## purpledress

dove221 said:


> The other issue is that I live in Northern California where no one dresses up and the majority of folks here spend money on homes and Teslas





mariatd said:


> She often comments on how she thinks it's crazy to spend that much on a painting and she'd rather go on a vacation instead





Pursecake said:


> they always use their kids as an excuse for being the money sinks.



Houses, cars, vacations and kids are the only acceptable ways to spend money, didn't you all get the memo?


----------



## Happyish

mliLV said:


> I really like this thread, I too have felt judgement from colleagues at work. Questions asking me how much certain items are...Then making comments like "I would never spend that amount of money." Now it makes me self conscious to use my luxury items. (handbags, shawls, etc.)
> 
> My best friend tells me that I have the right to wear whatever I want, but those comments do get to me.


A good answer is, "I don't remember." If they press (and they usually do), I may add, "I bought it because I liked it," and leave it at that.
Once, someone I was dating asked how much I paid for something. I was stunned. I told him I didn't remember the price. He later confronted me with how much I had paid. It turns out, he drove to the store and priced the item! Now, that's nerve.


----------



## Happyish

axlm said:


> It's annoying, I have even lied and said it's borrowed from my mum about some things lol


I've done that too, and while it doesn't feel right, if you feel insulated or protected in some way, it's the right thing to do.


----------



## Fixxi

I've been there with my Burberry scarves like 7 years ago at my job. The girl that asked was 6 years younger than I was, who had a kid at 18. And I replied, "well, I don't have a kid... and I don't get my hair done like you... and I don't spend that much money on make up"... if she really pissed me off I also would have said I earn way more than you, but I caught myself being petty. But then again, she was earning $50k, spending $350 on her hair every other month and getting her nails done every other week, so to each to their own. 

Nowadays, I (after a baby, healthy investment and savings accounts, and a mortgage) just say "I don't have the same priorities as you" or "yeah, I'm saving more." (What does that even mean - "saving more"? Lol. Just leave it intentionally vague)  

You have to realize whoever gets worked up (either them or you) have other internal feelings not yet worked through and is projecting,  so it's best to not engage. That having said, I still wear my Burberry scarves and carry nice wallet, but my work bag is always a backpack (given by work or Fjallsraven) - back when I had to go into the office pre-covid. 

Don't get worked up, we all have different priorities when it comes to money, and it's really none of anyone's business (unless you are borrowing from them lol).


----------



## Sunshine mama

BettyLouboo said:


> This reminds me of a similar incident I had with a work colleague too that loved a bag I was carrying. Asked me how much it was in front of other colleagues, only to look stunned and respond with a “wow ..but it’s just a bag. Why would spend that much on just a bag?” She put me on the spot and I had nothing to respond with so I just walked away with an awkward shrug.  She definitely made me feel like a right idiot in front of others which I didn’t appreciate at all


Your colleague definitely threw you under the bus in front of the other colleagues.  Please be careful with this person, as he/she sounds like a calculating narcissist.


----------



## Happyish

BettyLouboo said:


> This reminds me of a similar incident I had with a work colleague too that loved a bag I was carrying. Asked me how much it was in front of other colleagues, only to look stunned and respond with a “wow ..but it’s just a bag. Why would spend that much on just a bag?” She put me on the spot and I had nothing to respond with so I just walked away with an awkward shrug.  She definitely made me feel like a right idiot in front of others which I didn’t appreciate at all


That's awful. I'd feel very defensive. Hey, some people spend all their money on clothes, others boats, other cars, others needlepoint, or golf, or jewelry, etc., etc. That you choose to spend your money on something you wear and enjoy every day, is a nice thing. It's a personal choice and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.


----------



## 2manychins

Happyish said:


> A good answer is, "I don't remember." If they press (and they usually do), I may add, "I bought it because I liked it," and leave it at that.
> Once, someone I was dating asked how much I paid for something. I was stunned. I told him I didn't remember the price. He later confronted me with how much I had paid. It turns out, he drove to the store and priced the item! Now, that's nerve.


You dodged a bullet with that one.  That’s extremely rude.


----------



## Coco.lover

My mothers god daughter asked my mother how much I spend on my Chanel bags and that she wanted to get one on sale. My mom replied I don't know how much my daughter spends and they never go on sale. For some reason her asking made so uncomfy. Then she said she has so many, she must be making bank. I literally save for my bags.


----------



## Sunshine mama

mliLV said:


> I really like this thread, I too have felt judgement from colleagues at work. Questions asking me how much certain items are...Then making comments like "I would never spend that amount of money." Now it makes me self conscious to use my luxury items. (handbags, shawls, etc.)
> 
> My best friend tells me that I have the right to wear whatever I want, but those comments do get to me.


I would have loved to have said, "it's a good thing you're not me, and it's a good thing I'm not you", and laugh then laugh out off.


----------



## Sunshine mama

880 said:


> ive done this. Usually when my MIL asks. I don’t think it’s really a lie bc my mom and I borrow stuff all the time (though ahe typically borrows from me) come to think of it, when she asked where my unlogoed dior sweatpants were from, I said a small boutique in midtown, which is the truth. its not like she is asking bc she wants a pair; more like she is making conversation.


I love your reasoning!
I feel like when people cross the line, we have the right to protect ourselves, whatever that may be. We don't have to answer to any boundary breaking question.


----------



## lulilu

I would never disclose what something cost.  As for "where did you get" questions, I'd just say at XX mall.  I used to do a similar thing when school moms (or others) asked me where I worked.  I'd say "downtown."  It usually did not result in further questions.  (If I did say where I worked, there were always comments etc.)


----------



## Pursecake

purpledress said:


> Houses, cars, vacations and kids are the only acceptable ways to spend money, didn't you all get the memo?


It's almost like they're allowed to judge but gets mad when someone else reminds them they had a choice for another life.... if they can dish it they better be able to eat it too!


----------



## Sunshine mama

purpledress said:


> Houses, cars, vacations and kids are the only acceptable ways to spend money, didn't you all get the memo?


I did! I threw it out!


----------



## Noorasi

This thread reminds me of a boss I had who got an YSL bag but was very careful to always carry it with the logo side turned away. It does suck that you'd get something beautiful and then you feel like you have to make extra effort to hide it. I did very genuinely compliment her on the bag and she seemed a little uneasy I had even pointed it out - obviously not knowing that I'm definitely not one to judge designer bags or people who carry them


----------



## dove221

mariatd said:


> Same.  I only bring my expensive bags into the office when I know they'll stay in my personal office under my desk.  When we have offsite meetings, where we are all in a big room, I bring other bags.  I recently brought a Kurt Geiger bag to one of those events and several people commented on my beautiful bag and that it must have been expensive and I just tell them 'Nordstrom Anniversary Sale'. Then one of them went on and on about how she wants a fake Gucci bag.  Since a Gucci bag is sooo expensive, she wants one from the many NYC street sellers as spending this much money on a bag is crazy.  I didn't say a word, just smiled politely.  This person is a top level executive and makes about $500k a year.  I don't care what she spends her money on, but I wouldn't diss it either.
> 
> I have a friend who doesn't know about my bags.  But she does know about my other 'habit' of buying original art pieces.  She often comments on how she thinks it's crazy to spend that much on a painting and she'd rather go on a vacation instead.  Well, I do go on vacation too, but just don't have the time to go  as often and as long as she does.  Nonetheless, at the end of my vacation, I'm back home.  But looking at my painting on my wall makes my heart sing every time I look at it.  Same with my bags.  I can only wear one at a time, but they still make my heart smile when I see them in my closet
> 
> Finally, I interviewed a new staff member and she brought in a LV bag to the interview.  I knew right away she was my kind of people


Love it! So sick of people and their comments!!


Coco.lover said:


> My mothers god daughter asked my mother how much I spend on my Chanel bags and that she wanted to get one on sale. My mom replied I don't know how much my daughter spends and they never go on sale. For some reason her asking made so uncomfy. Then she said she has so many, she must be making bank. I literally save for my bags.


ughhhh I hate comments like this- “making bank”!


----------



## Fixxi

Noorasi said:


> This thread reminds me of a boss I had who got an YSL bag but was very careful to always carry it with the logo side turned away. It does suck that you'd get something beautiful and then you feel like you have to make extra effort to hide it. I did very genuinely compliment her on the bag and she seemed a little uneasy I had even pointed it out - obviously not knowing that I'm definitely not one to judge designer bags or people who carry them



I've also had some peers who brought a small blue boy to work once and was sheepish about it, especially when I complimented how beautiful it was. She started to say how normally she doesn't spend a lot on purses, this was her first Chanel, and she wasn't raised with wealth but wanted to buy something nice for herself, and it was a pre-owned, etc etc. I straight up told her, "hey, you don't have to justify your purchase! This is a gorgeous bag, I'm just admiring it!" And she lit up


----------



## Coco.lover

Honest to god I’m not embarrassed about what I spend  but when people start asking it’s strange. I had an ex-friend tell I’d would be an old lady one day with a house full of Chanel. Like that’s a bad thing. Thank you for thinking I’ll be so successful that I’ll have closets and closets of Chanel.


----------



## Bagaholic9

Unfortunately, it’s my own family that act weird with me about my bags. I get the comments and stares, and questions. The fact that we live next door to each other makes it harder. Maybe it is a jealousy thing? Especially when they see what todays prices are, all the judgement comes through. Purseforum and my loving husband are my only outlets.


----------



## vzshop

My friend stared at my Chanel woc for over 20 seconds without saying anything at all, when she first saw me carrying it...Not sure if she gets jealous or not...


----------



## Fixxi

vzshop said:


> My friend stared at my Chanel woc for over 20 seconds without saying anything at all, when she first saw me carrying it...Not sure if she gets jealous or not...


I'm sure it's envy! I'm sure I look like your friend when I see a WOC out in the wild! Lol!!!


----------



## fightdirrty

Lady Stardust said:


> I don’t think I’ve ever had any comments or moments with strangers (that I’ve noticed!) but I do have one friend who gives my bags the DIRTIEST looks lol she’s never flat out said anything but we’ve been friends since we were 7, she doesn’t have to, I can tell by her looks what she’s thinking.
> 
> I remember one time she was going to Paris and made a big stink about how she was going to buy a Chanel and I said nothing but was like “boy are you in for a surprise, they’re not $300…”. She came home without one and to this day glares at mine with a frown whenever I use them.  I just ignore it!



You're better than me, I would have asked if she was constipated because she's making a really weird face.

Usually I just remind them that no one pays my bills but me. I do me, you do you. I'm thinking of adding "You should see what I spend on mechanical keyboards!"


----------



## AEGIS

I wear my bags wherever I go. I sincerely do not give AF.


----------



## anitsirk

I’m surprised at some of the stories in this thread. I have never experienced anyone I know being jealous of my bags. Not sure about strangers lol. I can’t read people’s minds but if I notice someone looking at my bag I always assumed it’s because they like it, not out of jealousy. I’m not a jealous person myself though so maybe I’m just oblivious to it? I would find it really odd if someone had a strong opinion on my handbag choices though


----------



## bernpl

From my extended family, I have a few aunts and cousins who just say ’I don’t really like Chanel’, yet they seem to stare at my bags and sometimes touch and ask to look at it, even proceed to try it on. 

From acquaintances (friends of friends), one girl who lived in NYC  just said to me (and nothing else, no other conversation as we sat at a baby shower table), ‘Aren’t you scared someone will snatch your purse or you will draw attention to yourself to get robbed. I would never carry a Chanel bag because of that.’  Another girl on a girl’s Vegas trip where I had one Chanel and one Saint Laurent, commented, ‘What’s up with all designer bags.’


----------



## Happyish

bernpl said:


> From my extended family: I have a few aunts and cousins who just say ’I don’t really like Chanel’, yet they seem to stare at my bags and sometimes touch and ask to look at it, even proceed to try it on.
> 
> From acquaintances (friend of friends), one girl who lived in NYC  just said to me (and nothing else, no other conversation) as we sat at a baby shower table, ‘Aren’t you scared someone will snatch your purse or you will draw attention to yourself to get robbed. I would never carry a Chanel bag because of that.’  Another girl on a girl’s Vegas trip where I had one Chanel and one Saint Laurent, commented, ‘What’s up with all designer bags.’


It's odd . . . but it just shows the variance in priorities. Those of us who carry designer items appreciate and use them and then there are the people who just don't get it, who would never set foot in Chanel or if they did so would be horrified when they checked the prices.
Years ago I was on a trip to Italy. Before I left I had priced a bag at Bottega and was thrilled to find it at 30% less at the Florence store. However, someone else on the trip thought the prices were outrageous and bought nothing. She never shopped at Bottega before so she had no point of reference. I was thrilled whereas she was appalled.

Your "friends" just see a designer bag, and are probably a little intimidated and jealous. That's not where they shop.

However, I think it's better that they vocalized their thoughts--good to know who your friends are and who are not . . .


----------



## Coco.lover

What really upsets is when people think you are shallow or not very bright because you buy expensive bags, that's the farthest from the truth. If anything we incredibly smart especially with all the price increases.


----------



## ChanelFan29

OCMomof3 said:


> My parents never make any negative comments about my bags, but I know they think it's ridiculous. However, with the amount of money they have spent decorating multiple homes at a very high level, buying expensive cars, and vacationing all around the world, I know they are not afraid to spend the money they have. They simply have no appetite for designer goods, and that's fine. There are many people with huge resources who have no interest in it.  I wish I was that way, lol!



Same for me, my parents think my LV and Chanel items are a complete waste.  I did enjoy pointing out to my dad that my jumbo flap purchased for $5500 in 2017 is now worth nearly $10k.  My dad will ask me what my Cartier bracelets cost. Hey, some women spend $$$$ on upgrade engagement rings but I opted to slowly drop $ to build a stack instead!  Funny though, I have only had one person comment on my Love Cuffs, it was very positive though.  I think the woman wanted one and was hinting to her husband.

My parents never spent $ on expensive cars, but they used to travel all around the world (before covid + now they are too old w/various mobility issues) and they do own a few homes.  I personally don't have as much interest in travel, especially given the current world situation and the fact that I have 3 dogs.  I own a home and a rental property.  Yes, I have some nice items but we are very good about saving/investing too so I don't feel TOO guilty about my luxe splurges.

I have my jumbo flap and a mini, but so rarely use them.  I do carry LVs, but I never get many comments on them.


----------



## Happyish

Bagaholic9 said:


> Unfortunately, it’s my own family that act weird with me about my bags. I get the comments and stares, and questions. The fact that we live next door to each other makes it harder. Maybe it is a jealousy thing? Especially when they see what todays prices are, all the judgement comes through. Purseforum and my loving husband are my only outlets.


I had a neighbor who once commented on my Barney's bag as I was coming into the house. She said, "I wish I could afford to shop there . . . " I don't remember how I replied, but I felt very uncomfortable. I also remember that whatever it was I bought that day, wasn't particularly expensive. Frankly anything could have been in that bag and it was not necessarily from Barney's, and while she wasn't wrong that day, I had come from Barney's, what bothered me is that she was obviously watching me.

After that, I would leave my shopping bags in the car and smuggle my goods into the house under cover of darkness . . . Likewise, a handbag such as a Birkin went into a tote, which I carried out to the car. Who needs that kind of unwanted attention?


----------



## dove221

Not sure why people, especially women feel the need to make comments. How about just resolving themselves to just accepting that’s just not their thing. The need to comment is obvious insecurity. As much as I love jewelry, my sister does not.  She loves skincare, makeup, fragrance, etc. We are just different people- no need for us to feel insecure because we have differences, even though we grew up in the same house. ❤️


----------



## hmily223

Bagaholic9 said:


> Unfortunately, it’s my own family that act weird with me about my bags. I get the comments and stares, and questions. The fact that we live next door to each other makes it harder. Maybe it is a jealousy thing? Especially when they see what todays prices are, all the judgement comes through. Purseforum and my loving husband are my only outlets.


I had the same situation as you. I don't carry my Chanel bags in front of my family at all. They even always comment on my LV bags.


----------



## ChanelFan29

dove221 said:


> Not sure why people, especially women feel the need to make comments. How about just resolving themselves to just accepting that’s just not their thing. The need to comment is obvious insecurity. As much as I love jewelry, my sister does not.  She loves skincare, makeup, fragrance, etc. We are just different people- no need for us to feel insecure because we have differences, even though we grew up in the same house. ❤️



Exactly!  Most people with extra discretionary cash "waste" $ on things in one way or another.  Maybe it's season NFL tickets, expensive hair salon visits, pricey vacations, high end furnishings or luxury handbags.   As long as one is saving for retirement, I say have fun and enjoy spending that extra money.


----------



## Happyish

ChanelFan29 said:


> Exactly!  Most people with extra discretionary cash "waste" $ on things in one way or another.  Maybe it's season NFL tickets, expensive hair salon visits, pricey vacations, high end furnishings or luxury handbags.   As long as one is saving for retirement, I say have fun and enjoy spending that extra money.


That's the whole point though. What's extra?
Extra to one person isn't extra to another, and the fact they're parsimonious can make some feel resentful. The point is, we all make choices, so why be nasty because someone chooses to spend their money differently?


----------



## bisousx

Interestingly enough, a former friend of mine once went out of her way to tell me (in front of others) how ugly she thought Hermes bags were. As I was wearing one. Her random comment struck me as quite the jab. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt - perhaps she truly did believe Hermes bags were ugly and felt strongly about its ugliness. Whatever she felt compelled her at the time to announce her unsolicited opinion in front of several people, so who was I to judge?  Fast forward a few short years to today, guess which friend can be seen walking around town in a beautiful shiny Kelly…


----------



## Happyish

bisousx said:


> Interestingly enough, a former friend of mine once went out of her way to tell me (in front of others) how ugly she thought Hermes bags were. As I was wearing one. Her random comment struck me as quite the jab. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt - perhaps she truly did believe Hermes bags were ugly and felt strongly about its ugliness. Whatever she felt compelled her at the time to announce her unsolicited opinion in front of several people, so who was I to judge?  Fast forward a few short years to today, guess which friend can be seen walking around town in a beautiful shiny Kelly…


I find it interesting that you refer to her as a "former friend." Obviously, there's more here than meets the eye, but this comment alone--made in public no less (presumably to shame you) more than suffices to relegate her "unfriend," status.


----------



## sdkitty

bisousx said:


> Interestingly enough, a former friend of mine once went out of her way to tell me (in front of others) how ugly she thought Hermes bags were. As I was wearing one. Her random comment struck me as quite the jab. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt - perhaps she truly did believe Hermes bags were ugly and felt strongly about its ugliness. Whatever she felt compelled her at the time to announce her unsolicited opinion in front of several people, so who was I to judge?  Fast forward a few short years to today, guess which friend can be seen walking around town in a beautiful shiny Kelly…


I'm not a Hermes person but this comment - no matter the subject - was petty and nasty


----------



## Sunshine mama

My mom kind of rolls her eyes, saying, oh another bag?
But my dad is my  biggest cheerleader.  He tells me my bags are very good looking!


----------



## Jellybean111

My families buy boats and new cars (not super cars), I do not. I buy bags. Which one increase in Value? Yup. My bags. Not their vehicles lol


----------



## taetaebear

In Hong Kong if you're 40+ and social with clients, you are almost pressured to have a designer work bag to look like you know what you're doing. A lot of people in the city wear picotins and lindys with jeans and a t-shirt and nobody bats an eye. I like that we collectively took away the exclusivity of Hermes by everybody just wearing it, more H for everybody!


----------



## Yolanda0205

I love this forum as a platform to share our bags and our love for bags. People can be judgmental at times and I don’t think I have to explain to people how I spending my hard earned money.


----------



## Sparkletastic

bisousx said:


> Interestingly enough, a former friend of mine once went out of her way to tell me (in front of others) how ugly she thought Hermes bags were. As I was wearing one. Her random comment struck me as quite the jab. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt - perhaps she truly did believe Hermes bags were ugly and felt strongly about its ugliness. Whatever she felt compelled her at the time to announce her unsolicited opinion in front of several people, so who was I to judge?  Fast forward a few short years to today, guess which friend can be seen walking around town in a beautiful shiny Kelly…


That was pure jealousy.

If you’re in an enthusiast group like tPF, it makes sense to comment on your likes and dislikes. None of it is a strike against anyone. We’re just discussing our passion.

IRL, however, it is NEVER acceptable to express a negative opinion on someone’s possessions. I’m so glad you count her as a *former* friend.


----------



## blushing_baby

how do you ladies protect and secure ur bags? i'm always afraid of theft


----------



## Sferics

blushing_baby said:


> how do you ladies protect and secure ur bags? i'm always afraid of theft



I never leave my bags alone or under the supervision of another person because I made some bad experiences: F.e. my wallet was stolen out of my bag (!) while a close but unfit friend was looking after my bag, sitting next to it.
I always have my bags touching my body when sitting somewhere (except the local condition won't allow anybody to come near them)
In crowded places, I wear my bags in front of my body.

But I think in the context of safety it's irrelevant if the bag is luxury or not.

Hm, I don't think a lot of theft happens because of jealousy...?


----------



## ElenaAlex

No, not at all here. And I'm very happy with that fact. I remember when I purchased my first designer bag and took it out, I thought everyone will notice it, but no one did. I didn't even received a compliments for it. My friend got a few for her bag and it was a cheap one bought online, not even a leather one. 

@*blushing_baby*
When I sit somewhere, I make sure I put it on a place where it is hard to be grabbed. If I can't, I always have the strap crossbody and if possible, on my lap. When I walk I make sure it is in front of my body. I always put valuables (documents, jewelry, etc) in pouches and I use a carabiner to hook them on the ring inside. I do the same for the wallet so even if someone reaches in, not to be able to take it out. If there is no ring I use the zipper or anything I can attached the carabiner to.


----------



## LittleRunningDog

blushing_baby said:


> how do you ladies protect and secure ur bags? i'm always afraid of theft


All of my bags have an inside pocket, and I stow my wallet and keys there out of sight - if its got a zip I zip it.  I’m always conscious of my bag and keep it on me or next to me.
I once witnessed someone have a wallet stolen from her bag while she was busy packing her groceries.  She’d left her bag at the far end of the till and someone walking past just dipped into the bag and made off with it.  She was very upset, very sad thing to see.


----------



## lulilu

blushing_baby said:


> how do you ladies protect and secure ur bags? i'm always afraid of theft


If you have an office, it's a good idea to put your bag out of sight -- in a desk drawer or under your desk.  I have been very cavalier about my stuff, never suspecting someone would enter my office and take something.  I tossed my bag on the windowsill all the time.  No one stole my bag, but they went into my wallet (!!) and took a single VISA.  I didn't notice until VISA fraud office called to ask about some purchases that their algorithm caused concern.  The thief started with small purchases, but started making bigger and bigger purchases all in one day.  Creepy that someone would look in your bag, take out your wallet and take just one cc.  You can't trust blindly even in what should be safe environs.


----------



## Swanky

Let’s stay on topic


----------



## CindyLC

It’s exhausting to care what others think so I stopped paying attention. I like/love what I see because it’s me, what brings me joy and excitement. Nobody can take that away from me anymore. Not my mom, family, friends or random person on the street. Do I get treated differently by other based on my bags? 100% and I take notice of when it happens, it’s not right.


----------



## Miarta

When I see someone with a nice bag I compliment, stranger or not. It’s because I enjoy having them and enjoy other people having them. It was a many time a conversation starter. For other people…. I don’t notice don’t care. Also I can look very intimidating, that probably helps. Lol  What I have and how much I spend is not open for discussion, PERIOD!!!  A few poor souls who tried, well,,,
Long time ago, gentlemen tried to beret me in front of the other guests about cost of my bag, how superficial I look.Well, right there in front of everyone I said to him;I’m sorry don’t mean to be rude however my beg is far less expensive and less superficial than that mistress of yours that you put up in the condo. It’s none of my business same way that my spending is none of yours. Another drink?
I promise you I said that. IT was an open secret that everyone knew and and talked about. That was 15 years ago and they are still talking about it, lol


----------



## CindyLC

Miarta said:


> When I see someone with a nice bag I compliment, stranger or not. It’s because I enjoy having them and enjoy other people having them. It was a many time a conversation starter. For other people…. I don’t notice don’t care. Also I can look very intimidating, that probably helps. Lol  What I have and how much I spend is not open for discussion, PERIOD!!!  A few poor souls who tried, well,,,
> Long time ago, gentlemen tried to beret me in front of the other guests about cost of my bag, how superficial I look.Well, right there in front of everyone I said to him;I’m sorry don’t mean to be rude however my beg is far less expensive and less superficial than that mistress of yours that you put up in the condo. It’s none of my business same way that my spending is none of yours. Another drink?
> I promise you I said that. IT was an open secret that everyone knew and and talked about. That was 15 years ago and they are still talking about it, lol


Omg I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Happyish

I once had someone look at my bag and say, "that looks very expensive." It wasn't meant in a nice way. It was intended to be critical. I was completely taken aback, but my reply "it is," came as a complete surprise. That person did not know what to say.
Some people get off on making others feel bad. I am at a loss to understand this.
I love my bags. I wear my bags. I enjoy my bags. I won't allow anyone to rain on my parade.


----------



## GirlAndBag

Happyish said:


> I once had someone look at my bag and say, "that looks very expensive." It wasn't meant in a nice way. It was intended to be critical. I was completely taken aback, but my reply "it is," came as a complete surprise. That person did not know what to say.
> Some people get off on making others feel bad. I am at a loss to understand this.
> I love my bags. I wear my bags. I enjoy my bags. I won't allow anyone to rain on my parade.



More often than not, the people who love being blunt , direct or even curt can't deal with other people's blunt and direct reply.  
I can't comprehend how they expect to be nicely spoken to when they are rude..


----------



## EpiFanatic

Happyish said:


> I once had someone look at my bag and say, "that looks very expensive." It wasn't meant in a nice way. It was intended to be critical. I was completely taken aback, but my reply "it is," came as a complete surprise. That person did not know what to say.
> Some people get off on making others feel bad. I am at a loss to understand this.
> I love my bags. I wear my bags. I enjoy my bags. I won't allow anyone to rain on my parade.


I love this reply.  Gives new meaning to _leaning in_.  They can't shame you.  You embrace it.


----------



## Miarta

EpiFanatic said:


> I love this reply.  Gives new meaning to _leaning in_.  They can't shame you.  You embrace it.


I’m not arrogant rude condescending malicious to anyone and I will not aloud anyone to be such to me.  When I was a child someone told me this; there is nobody above you and there is nobody below you. Who ever tries to position them self above take it down, who ever puts them self below you …… elevate them.  I think it’s a good lesson


----------



## vivy_tran

Sferics said:


> I never leave my bags alone or under the supervision of another person because I made some bad experiences: F.e. my wallet was stolen out of my bag (!) while a close but unfit friend was looking after my bag, sitting next to it.
> I always have my bags touching my body when sitting somewhere (except the local condition won't allow anybody to come near them)
> In crowded places, I wear my bags in front of my body.
> 
> But I think in the context of safety it's irrelevant if the bag is luxury or not.
> 
> Hm, I don't think a lot of theft happens because of jealousy...?


You’d be surprised. My cousin’s uncle and aunt (not related to me) lost $130k worth of jewelry and handbags in a recent house break in. They dragged the safe out of the house. They couldn’t get the safe to open without password but decided to take it and break open the safe later. It turns out that it was a group of people they knew (acquaintances).


----------



## vivy_tran

Yes, nice people compliment on my bag and fashion sense while mean people get nasty and called my bags “fake” or I must bought it “used” when I only buy directly from boutiques. Jealousy really shows through their teeth. She also called me crazy to spend so much of MY hard earned money on CFs while she only has 1 CFs. I thought she was crazy for spending $$ on CFs while she’s drowning in student loans and hoping the US government to bail her loans out through loan forgiveness lol. So who actually looks crazy here?  After a few other hateful comments about other things… I stopped being friends with her. Can’t put up with all that negative vibe


----------



## ashin121

GirlAndBag said:


> More often than not, the people who love being blunt , direct or even curt can't deal with other people's blunt and direct reply.
> I can't comprehend how they expect to be nicely spoken to when they are rude..


This!!!!!! Omg! Yesssss!  I was direct with someone one time after years and years of blunt/ direct/curt/rude comment from her and she cried all night (according to her husband). He knows she's mean but he still wasn't happy. He understood though. Him and my husband are close ( stood in each other's weddings as groomsmen). I made the direct comment after my husband told me too on a specific topic (I didn't want to break ties because of their friendship so I usually held my tongue around her) . When I was told she cried, I said the same thing to my husband about how she says things like that everyday, how can she not handle it????


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## vivy_tran

ashin121 said:


> This!!!!!! Omg! Yesssss!  I was direct with someone one time after years and years of blunt/ direct/curt/rude comment from her and she cried all night (according to her husband). He knows she's mean but he still wasn't happy. He understood though. Him and my husband are close ( stood in each other's weddings as groomsmen). I made the direct comment after my husband told me too on a specific topic (I didn't want to break ties because of their friendship so I usually held my tongue around her) . When I was told she cried, I said the same thing to my husband about how she says things like that everyday, how can she not handle it????


I guess some people can dish it out but can’t serve  if she’s saying things like that everyday, she’s asking for it lol


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## EpiFanatic

ashin121 said:


> This!!!!!! Omg! Yesssss!  I was direct with someone one time after years and years of blunt/ direct/curt/rude comment from her and she cried all night (according to her husband). He knows she's mean but he still wasn't happy. He understood though. Him and my husband are close ( stood in each other's weddings as groomsmen). I made the direct comment after my husband told me too on a specific topic (I didn't want to break ties because of their friendship so I usually held my tongue around her) . When I was told she cried, I said the same thing to my husband about how she says things like that everyday, how can she not handle it????


Tell him that it’s good for her. Builds character.


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## EpiFanatic

vivy_tran said:


> Yes, nice people compliment on my bag and fashion sense while mean people get nasty and called my bags “fake” or I must bought it “used” when I only buy directly from boutiques. Jealousy really shows through their teeth. She also called me crazy to spend so much of MY hard earned money on CFs while she only has 1 CFs. I thought she was crazy for spending $$ on CFs while she’s drowning in student loans and hoping the US government to bail her loans out through loan forgiveness lol. So who actually looks crazy here?  After a few other hateful comments about other things… I stopped being friends with her. Can’t put up with all that negative vibe


Exactly. People can have their opinions. Doesn’t mean you need to hang around for it. Peace out.


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## linhtp411

YESSS!!! Lots of people stare and talk but well it's my money. If you hate it, it's your problem. You do you, I do me. You can buy a lawn mower for 4k or spend 3k on a bike, I can spend 5k on a bag too  That's my attitude. And the more they hate it, the more I wear my bags in front of them. Haters gonna hate, let them hate


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## Miarta

I honestly think that people treat you the way you let them. i set boundaries and norms to everything else (more or less) In life: from work, schools, food, entertainment, travel, cars, family, children, home, whatever it is we have some type of standards, right. So why is it when it comes to relationships and the way we get treated by others suddenly we let others people set the rules???? I will treat you with utmost respect and expect exactly same amount back. Any missteps get rebuked  immediately gently but firmly with the clear message that it will not be tolerated. Followed with quick return to polite myself. It’s always a shock initially, however people like boundaries ……go figure !!!! With a few exceptions (some people are just plain… dumb?!) people are decent.  What someone say behind closed doors is not my business . If they want to discuss my property or my spendings… nothing that I’m willing to do about it. I know that I’m not spending my time pondering on theirs. 
   The other thing that gets me is not want to wear designer because its not … in the keeping with the time we live in. There was always the ones that have and ones that don’t, nothing will change that. I was never fan of logos unless I’m paid to promote them (im not). However my whole garderobe is very much branded and I have no intention getting rid of it to please someone who while judging harshly, would in heartbeat (if I left it somewhere) take it and wear it with all the entitlement they could master.  If you notice the ones that judge are the ones who have less or none but know the brands and prices of everting . At the same time I don’t see them donating nothing of value to this world, except preaching. I will not bend to nobody’s rules that are made as they go ( I wear white after Labor weekend,lol) I will not stand down to nobody on such trivial thing as is the clothes I wear. Our time is very limited on this planet and mark that most of us make, will not be significant for humanity to notice. For myself l would love to spend it enjoying it and making it enjoyable for as many people as I can . Tomorrow is not guaranteed to nobody. That said …… Yeah, I think I may not be the most agreeable person. ………when it comes to my personal bubble.


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